Day 34: Intercom, Noon

[damned-intercom.livejournal.com]

"Good afternoon, patients, and I am glad to see our new arrivals are already making such good friends with our current population!" The Head Doctor's words were usual, unremarkable, which meant that whatever had gone out of control these past couple days was evening out into some form of Dr. Landel's nefarious schemes. For now, however, he simply chuckled with good humor. "We'll be bringing in new patients during this shift as well, of course, but what I'm sure most of you are most intrigued by is... food! Yes, although lunch is posted up on the bulletin board on the schedule, I doubt many of you pay attention to it.... Ahem.

"Today's meal is chicken tenders made from fresh, juicy chicken breasts. As sides, we have potato chips, vegetable soup, and cole slaw, and we of course have honey-mustard and barbeque sauce for dipping. As always, our fruit and salad bar is open for anyone looking for a different meal, and our drinks are water, milk, apple juice, and pink lemonade.

"Mm! Sure sounds delicious, doesn't it? In any case, I hope you all enjoy your meal and your new company."

The intercom clicked off.

[ All introduction posts for this shift's group of new characters should be made in response to this post. (Have your new character wake up in a random empty room, as we aren't yet able to officially assign rooms.) Thanks! ]

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[toadally4boobs.livejournal.com]

The first thing he noticed was the growing brightness.

The second thing he noticed was that he could breathe.

The third thing he noticed was that his head hurt like a bitch. And he couldn't even remember how he got the hangover in the first place, which was a very bad sign. He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut, as he tried to remember what happened last--

--he was dead.

Jiraiya's eyes flew open. Above him was a ceiling. He wasn't surrounded by water, and he wasn't--

Drowning wasn't the right word, because his throat had already been crushed, when--

He jerked his hand up to his throat, pressing his fingers against his skin before smoothing them across. Whole. Not even a scratch, much less his entire windpipe being caved in. And his chest felt the same, which only left--

His eyes widening slowly, Jiraiya brought his other hand to his face. He had two arms again.

Jiraiya still didn't know why he had a headache, although it wasn't as bad now that he had woken up. Tsunade's voice answered why in his head--something about a lack of oxygen at high altitudes causing blood to rush to the brain and create a headache. Or something like that; he hadn't been paying too much attention at the time because she was yelling at him and whenever she had pause to take a deep breath, her chest would rise up and down nicely.

Focus. He had to focus. Maybe Naruto had rubbed off on him too much after all that training together.

"Naruto..." Jiraiya mumbled, look past his hands, to his shirt.

He stared. What the hell was a bright yellow face-thing doing on his shirt? His gray shirt, which matched his gray pants. An outfit of which he had no memory of.

What was going on...?

"Oh, you're awake!" A cheerful voice cut into his thoughts as he felt another enter the room; a woman, probably in her late twenties.

Before he even looked up, he knew she was beautiful. Or, at least, very pretty. His eyes weren't disappointed when he slowly trailed his eyes up.

"I am," Jiraiya replied, giving her what he hoped was a flattering smile.

"You've woken up just in time for lunch!" The nurse sounded far too cheerful.

Somewhere in the back of his head, he noted the room was gray and dull, and although it smelled like a room in Konoha hospital, it wasn't. His brow furrowed as that thought came to the forefront, confusion clearly evident on his face. Had he been captured after all?

"Lunch?" Jiraiya asked, glancing around the room with feigned disinterest; he didn't want her to notice he thought anything was out of the ordinary, so he tried to keep her talking. "What's for lunch?"

"Chicken tenders!" The nurse answered him happily. "With potato chips, vegetable soup, and cole slaw!"

"... Huh?" Jiraiya's eyes stopped their movements; that was an interesting menu; wait, he had to keep her talking. "What else do you--?"

He tensed a moment before she reached out to take his arm, and then she was helping him out of bed, still talking in that cheerful voice. "You'll find out! If you don't hurry, there won't be anything left! Some of the other patients have very big appetites."

"Patients?" Jiraiya asked, keeping his guard up as she helped him towards the door.

"You don't remember coming in, Mr. Randy?" The nursed asked for a moment, almost looking confused, but then she beamed as she let go of him and pushed him lightly down a hall.

Jiraiya opened his mouth to comment on "his" name, then closed it. No, if he was supposed to be under a genjutsu that failed, he wasn't going to let her know. He had to know more information before he made any moves.

"Sorry, sorry!" Jiraiya forced a laugh. "I must be going senile! I've completely forgotten."

"Don't worry," the nurse gave him a piting look. "Your loved ones brought you here to help you remember!"

Jiraiya let out a sigh as she walked ahead and indicated that he should follow. This was going to get complicated, quickly. He followed her, just as told, trying to keep the pretense up. It was easier now that she was in front of him, and he could see her behind clearly as she walked. If he had been captured by the Hidden Village of Rain, it would pay well if he acted exactly as they thought he would.