Day 34: Breakfast

[screwthegods]

[starting off in M13]

The last part of the night was little more than a blur in Homura's mind. The men had rushed in, but not joined them, instead staying off to themselves. Before any of them had a chance to react, however, a voice sounded through the air, mocking some other person Homura had never heard of, and the patients themselves.

To Homura, whoever that man was, he sounded a great deal like a god.

But before he could ask questions, the demi-god found himself no longer in the chapel, but some strange room on a bed. Is that what Kenren had meant from his earlier warning? Homura sat up, glad at least that the world didn't spin when he did so. Then the same man from before began to speak again, with a completely different tone. It was confusing to hear him talk that way, calling them patients instead of prisoners as he had before. Homura listened quietly as the announcement was made, then got out of bed.

Maybe he wouldn't have to go anywhere yet. It wasn't like Homura knew where to go anyway, and that meant he had time. If this was his room, and if he had been here as long as Kenren had said, there was a chance he could find something with answers. The Taisho had even told him that Homura had seen Rinrei. Certainly he would've written something down, made a map, something that could let him find her again! He started with the desk at the end of his bed, first finding a small stack of notebooks. Picking up the first, he flipped through, turning the pages with quickening desperation as he found each one to be blank.

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[forgot-it-all.livejournal.com]

[free!]

One moment he had been holding onto Kaoru's shirt hem and the next, he was back in M35, lying on his stomach. He really hated that. Pushing himself up, he groggily wiped at his eyes and looked around the room. Tamaki was sleeping and it was just as well. The guy really needed a bit of time to himself, away from the unhappy reminders of what had happened. Ritsuka didn't know what he'd do if something...

He sighed and headed out the door as soon as the nurse opened it, journal and pen in hand. He still hadn't seen Soubi and that was worrying him. He couldn't sense the Fighter was missing, but he couldn't exactly sense that he was there, either. It was frustrating, not having that connection when all the other Fighter units did. It was even more frustrating because Soubi expected it of him, but he didn't know how. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. He had no idea what to do...

Ritsuka got to the cafeteria and picked up a bit of everything, courtesy of his nurse who thought he was starving himself, and sat in a free seat. He needed to find Soubi, but how to find him without looking...well, desperate? Posting on the board would be an admission that he still couldn't feel Soubi and not posting... "Augh, this stuff is impossible."

[beloved-less.livejournal.com]

Soubi has getting more than a little irked at this place. Being pulled apart from Ritsuka, blacking out at inappropriate times, lacking powers. And last night. Discovering that Ritsuka was getting on just fine without him. He was proud of the kid, sure, and glad that he was safe, certainly. But he selfishly wanted Ritsuka to need nobody but him. It ought to be the way of their world.

When he spotted his young Sacrifice, he wasn't sure what to do. Did Ritsuka need him? Did that matter when Soubi needed Ritsuka? Was the kid avoiding him? What did it matter? At least he could see him, know that he was safe. Or at least around.

Soubi approached quietly and ruffled Ritsuka's hair gently before sitting down. "You should be resting. You still haven't healed fully."

[forgot-it-all.livejournal.com]

Ritsuka sensed that someone was coming and was about to turn around with a hand ruffled his hair and all too familiar (and comforting) voice scolded him. Oh, thank God, he wasn't gone. Ritsuka turned as Soubi sat down and resisted the urge to just grab the guy and force him to stay put. He was already doing that and suddenly grabbing Soubi would be, well, bad.

"Soubi! Where the hell were you last night?!" Anger was always a good replacement for what he was really feeling. It wasn't like it was real anger, just...frustrated relief. Every night he didn't see someone was a night he worried they had disappeared. Every day he saw bulletin posts about new monsters and people disappearing, people being killed and it was wearing him down. Knowing that Soubi was still here and safe was more of a relief than he'd felt in a long while. "I went looking for you, but I didn't find you."

[beloved-less.livejournal.com]

Soubi was thrown back by Ritsuka's anger for a moment before almost becoming overwhelmed that the boy had really been looking for him. Not some stranger who ought not to matter.
"I'm sorry," he smiled. "I should have gotten there sooner, but by the time I arrived you were gone. Who's the tall boy at the clinic?" No jealousy in his voice. Just curiosity. Because he wouldn't let Ritsuka hear him fall apart so easily. He'd do it privately, with dignity.

[forgot-it-all.livejournal.com]

Ritsuka sighed and then looked up at Soubi again, this time with the relief clearly on his face. Soubi was safe. He hadn't been taken at night. No one had gotten to him or hurt him and he hadn't been "discharged" like so many others he knew. Seimei and Alfons were the first two that came to mind, but so many others had disappeared. And Hisoka Kurosaki was dead. Another one lost, not brainwashed, but killed forever.

"...I was worried. I haven't seen you in awhile and with Alfons' disappearance..." Ritsuka trailed off and rubbed his uninjured arm, trying to shake off the feeling that he'd broken a promise to his friend. He'd been so close to Alfons at first, and then they'd just started drifting apart. His first friend in awhile here and now he was gone. Miku had moved on as well and, like usual, Ritsuka was left behind. There was a reason why he hadn't opened up before. Perhaps he should go back to his protective shell again. "The tall b-- Mori? That's Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru's friend. I don't really know him at all. He just sort of showed up...and didn't talk."

[beloved-less.livejournal.com]

As soon as he saw that look in Ritsuka's eyes, something in him melted and there was an almost sad, but incredibly relieved, look in his eyes. Ritsuka still needed him and he certainly needed Ritsuka. He'd been so worried without any contact, he couldn't concentrate on anything but finding his Sacrifice. Remembering he was under express orders not to try to kiss Ritsuka or act 'inappropriately', he reached out and placed a hand on Ritsuka's small shoulder. "I could never seem to find you," he confessed. "Next time I'll try to send messages through your friends?" The last word came with only the smallest flicker in the eyes. Soubi wasn't against Ritsuka having friends (he had no right to have an opinion), even if Soubi was all he should need, but he preferred him to spend time with....nice children. His own age. Innocent. Or maybe it was just this situation. The one inside Landels and the one they faced when they got back out. Unless Ritsuka decided he was tired of all this and just wanted to leave. They'd leave together.

He suddenly felt a little bad for being so jealous wary of the tall boy. Ritsuka didn't seem to be bothered after all. As for Hikaru... the kid had energy but didn't seem to have any helpful skills. "Will you wait for me next time? Before heading out?"

[forgot-it-all.livejournal.com]

It worried Ritsuka not to see Soubi, but it concerned him more that the guy didn't seem to be making any friends here. Sure, he hadn't really made many friends at home either, but he had always gotten along well with Yuiko, right? And Kio was there. And...well, no one could really call the Zeroes friends, but they were like friends. It was close enough. Soubi didn't seem to be making any such connections here. Was it...because of him?

And Ritsuka didn't want to admit it, but he didn't know who Soubi could leave a message with. He hadn't actually interacted with a lot of people lately... Aside from Tamaki and the twins, and asking Soubi to give a message to them might be a disaster. They certainly didn't seem to get along very well. "Just leave a message for me on the bulletin, okay?" It wasn't the same without cell phones. "It's this place, Soubi. I can't find you either. It's like there's interference or something."

The boy sighed and leaned back in his chair, regretting that decision as soon as his injuries touched the plastic. He jerked as if the chair had bitten him and leaned forward again, putting his head in his hands. He had to be more careful. "Y-yeah, I'll try to. I didn't want Hikaru going out alone in case he got attacked, you know? I wasn't going far and I thought I'd see you on the way out."

[beloved-less.livejournal.com]

Had Ritsuka suggested Soubi make friends.....he'd have been met with an incredibly confused expression. Friends weren't important. Soubi didn't really have any. All the people he had connections with, it was for specific reasons or situations. He could easily go without...
Besides, they were in a very different place here, there was no point befriending people you would never again have to deal with.

And yet... Soubi almost missed having somebody to talk to. Not talk to. COme home to? Have around? He wasn't sure what it was about Kio that made him bearable. The man was a nuisance. An idiot. And he still wasn't here, which worried Soubi. Soubi had decided long ago that no harm should come to Kio and so it wouldn't. Would it?

"Ok," he smiled, almost convincingly. The bulletin was too public and there wasn't a guarantee that the message would find Ritsuka...

Soubi held Ritsuka's arm with one hand, the other hovered over the boy's back. "Ritsuka..." What? Be more careful? Are the wounds healing properly? Punish me? It should have been me?
"Are you alright?"

[forgot-it-all.livejournal.com]

Ritsuka hated it when Soubi faked his smiles. He hated it because it meant that whatever he said hadn't really made him happy. He was certain there were other people that made Soubi smile and laugh and do so many other things that he couldn't. It was his shortcoming, and another reminder of how he would never measure up to his brother. When Soubi talked about Seimei, he was scared, but he was also...content. It hurt.

Hiding his head in his hands further so he wouldn't have to see the fake smile, Ritsuka tried to concentrate. Soubi needed people to talk to. He needed people who could provide what Ritsuka couldn't. It was almost painful to admit that he wasn't what Soubi needed, but maybe he really wasn't. Everyone told him how Soubi was stronger before Ritsuka came along. Maybe they were right. Maybe he wasn't--

A hand on his arm jolted him out of his thoughts and he instinctively tried to pull away. "--ou alright?" was all he heard before he quickly nodded and looked away. "I'm fine!" he snapped, instantly regretting his outburst. His momentary panic deflated and he dropped his gaze, staring at a dirty patch on his pants. "...I'm fine, Soubi."

And now came the hard part. Taking a deep breath and still not sure if what he was doing was right, he met Soubi's gaze evenly and said, "Soubi. I want you to try and make friends here. These people - they matter. Maybe not in the long run of going home, but while we're here, they matter. Okay?"

[beloved-less.livejournal.com]

Soubi's fake smile faded. Why did Ritsuka have to hide from him? Soubi was a mere Fighter, yes, but it hurt to see his Sacrifice so blatantly keeping things from him. Struggling and not asking for help. It was his own fault for now knowing HOW to help.

He was used to angry outbursts, however, and offered a real smile at the apology. "You're a terrible liar."

And then, there it was, the look of absolute, innocent and sheer confusion. Soubi had never expected to hear those words. Not at this age. Ritsu had never demanded such things. Seimei had never mentioned it. The only time he'd heard anything quite like that was from that annoying little woman, Nagisa. He'd been happy without and, when people had tried to become his friend, they simply annoyed him. Usually it was girls, and they were only ever after one thing.

Suddenly Soubi chuckled. He was lost for words. WHat could he say? Insist he didn't need friends, that friends here would be pointless? Was this an order or could he just dismiss it. He looked at Ritsuka, still smiling. This was the sort of this a parent or teacher should have told Soubi. A long time ago. He ran his fingers through Ritsuka's hair. "I'll see what I can do."