So the Captain heard him speaking human, or English, or whatever he preferred to call it...
He heard him say it in VUX, with the correct intonations and emphasis like he'd been speaking it his entire life. How had he not noticed this before?
"You're speaking one of our dialects..." A detail that would no doubt be as meaningless to the Captain as its counterpoint was to him. "You're speaking VUX... everyone here is. They write in it, too... your note... your note was written in VUX." ZEX paused, apparently grasping for words, and he pressed a hand to his head in a gesture he wasn't aware he knew. "I don't know why I didn't notice this before... I just, I was so used to understanding everyone else, but... this doesn't make any sense. How could you write- I'm speaking VUX now and you understand me, or at least, I think I am. Have I gone mad?"
He'd faced a similar identity crisis before, where he lacked the ability to define himself as a VUX because he simply was not what defined a VUX. Sexual identity and orientation was such a crucial part of VUX culture and society that it was the basis on which almost all relationships were formed, where all sense of self developed. ZEX was not able to define himself that way, and for some time he did not know who he was except that he was not what everything told him he was, and it was one of the most painful experiences of his life. He'd been determined not to repeat it, and once he'd sorted through the entire mess, he'd embraced his newfound, unexplored sexual identity with unchecked enthusiasm because it meant he would always know who he was, no matter what happened to him.
That was countless years ago, decades ago, and to feel this way again was jarring and emotionally distressing to say the least. How could he even be reading things written in a different language? Everything inside him said VUX, and now everything outside him said human, and nothing had caused him to doubt the veracity of his inner nature until now.
He would not do this again. He buried his hands in his hair, tried not to focus on the strange sensation of it, of hands, and decided he would not allow this to happen. He was Admiral ZEX, that could not change. It would not change.
"There is an explanation for this..." ZEX said softly, struggling to calm himself down. "I'm sure there is. I'm not..."
even in the midst of a minor panic attack, he'd never say no
He heard him say it in VUX, with the correct intonations and emphasis like he'd been speaking it his entire life. How had he not noticed this before?
"You're speaking one of our dialects..." A detail that would no doubt be as meaningless to the Captain as its counterpoint was to him. "You're speaking VUX... everyone here is. They write in it, too... your note... your note was written in VUX." ZEX paused, apparently grasping for words, and he pressed a hand to his head in a gesture he wasn't aware he knew. "I don't know why I didn't notice this before... I just, I was so used to understanding everyone else, but... this doesn't make any sense. How could you write- I'm speaking VUX now and you understand me, or at least, I think I am. Have I gone mad?"
He'd faced a similar identity crisis before, where he lacked the ability to define himself as a VUX because he simply was not what defined a VUX. Sexual identity and orientation was such a crucial part of VUX culture and society that it was the basis on which almost all relationships were formed, where all sense of self developed. ZEX was not able to define himself that way, and for some time he did not know who he was except that he was not what everything told him he was, and it was one of the most painful experiences of his life. He'd been determined not to repeat it, and once he'd sorted through the entire mess, he'd embraced his newfound, unexplored sexual identity with unchecked enthusiasm because it meant he would always know who he was, no matter what happened to him.
That was countless years ago, decades ago, and to feel this way again was jarring and emotionally distressing to say the least. How could he even be reading things written in a different language? Everything inside him said VUX, and now everything outside him said human, and nothing had caused him to doubt the veracity of his inner nature until now.
He would not do this again. He buried his hands in his hair, tried not to focus on the strange sensation of it, of hands, and decided he would not allow this to happen. He was Admiral ZEX, that could not change. It would not change.
"There is an explanation for this..." ZEX said softly, struggling to calm himself down. "I'm sure there is. I'm not..."