damned_institute | Day 29: Cafeteria (2nd Shift)

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Day 29: Cafeteria (2nd Shift)

Nathan had never actually been in a nuthouse before and had only recently contemplated checking himself into one in a fit of sarcastic, self-depricating humor as of late. It was safe to say that he wasn't terribly familiar with the typical layout, even though he guessed it wasn't too hard to assume in this case. Everything was clean and painfully sterile-looking, if you could tell just by looking anyway, and he had to admit that they did a decent job of dressing this place up like a stereotypical, mental institution. They'd probably wait until evening to run whatever tests they wanted after they'd drugged everyone up nice and good.

The former congressman parted ways with his nurse, offering her a fairly sarcastic "thanks" as she let him loose in the expansive cafeteria. The food choices seemed pretty basic: hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza... The sort of thing he'd been living off of for the past, couple of months. Nathan hadn't realized how hungry he was until he actually picked up a plate. Skeptical as he was of the food here, it probably didn't matter whether it was drugged or not; if he was where he naturally assumed he was, they'd have their way no matter what he did. The only thing not eating would accomplish would be to make things easier for them.

With a hamburger and some fries piled on his plate, Nathan scanned the large room for any familiar faces. If he'd been nabbed in his sleep, there was at least a small chance that they might've nabbed Parkman or one of the others too. Unfortunately, he seemed to have chosen the wrong place to get information. It was practically empty.

Great. It looked like he'd be keeping himself company for the time being. Always a fun person to pass the time with. Sitting down at an empty table, Nathan took a moment to stare his hamburger down before taking a hesitant bite.

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Ed nodded solemnly and then frowned darkly as he noticed the cut on Tamaki's face. He grabbed Tamaki's hand with the automail and reached up to touch the cut gently with his flesh hand. "What happened?" he asked, anger in his voice. He was going to kill someone for this! How dare they hurt Tamaki?!

"One of those...bird things," Tamaki explained, looking down. "I was trying to get inside, and it attacked. I kicked it, though. And it backed away. It's going to leave a scar, and it's right on my face!" And it was such a silly thing to be so upset over, but it was his face! It had disfigured him!

Oh, those. Yes, Ed had got his own share of scratches from them, but Tamaki was lucky that he still had an eye! Another inch or so... Ugh, he didn't want to think about it. "But you weren't hurt any worse, right?" Ed asked, concern colouring his voice. He was worried! "And you fought it too!" he continued, a proud expression on his face. "Scars aren't so bad."

"No, I wasn't hurt any worse." Tamaki shook his head. "But...it's on my face!" How could he possibly explain to Ed what that meant? "I'm disfigured! How can I Host with a horrible scar on my face?!?"

Ed heaved a sigh of relief when Tamaki said that. So the cut was the only injury. That was good to know. He'd been worried that those things had hurt Tamaki much worse and it would be his fault for not helping Tamaki last night, or for not making him a weapon.

He blinked in surprise when Tamaki continued, a little baffled by how upset Tamaki seemed to be over this. "You... you aren't disfigured!" he replied insistently. "It's... have you even had anyone look at it? They could heal it! Besides..." he said, grasping desperately at straws and the covers of romance novels that he'd passed in various bookshops and libraries, "Girls think scars are attractive!"

"Not on me!" Tamaki bit at his lower lip. "I'm a prince type! I can't have a horrible scar! It doesn't fit! And they put little stitches in it, but that's only going to make the scarring worse! I'll have to have laser cosmetic surgery to fix it!"

And now Ed felt like a horrible person because Tamaki looked as though he was going to cry and Ed never had a clue what to do when people cried. "Hey..." he began, and then gave him a curious look. "What's laser cosmetic surgery?" Hell, what was a laser? But he shook himself and a sheepish look appeared on hsi face. "It can't look horrible on you, Tamaki," he said. "It's like... like a mark of honour. It shows how brave you are."

"Oh, it's when they use lasers to correct blemishes and disfigurement." Tamaki waved his hand as though that were nothing. "They can get rid of tattoos with it, too."

A mark of honor. It was a mark!

"But it's on my face! I have scars all over now, but I don't look like me anymore. And...oh, everything's awful today. People are missing and everyone's disappointed in me... but I can't be happy! My best friend is gone, and I don't care what the twins say, I don't think anyone goes anywhere good when they disappear here!"

It was all very well saying that, but there was one question still to be answered. "What's a laser?" And they could get rid of tattoos? He didn't know that was possible!

"Of course you look like you!" Ed insisted, awkwardly running his thumb over Tamaki's cheek. "You look like Tamaki and you're still you." Who cared about scars? Ed had loads of them and it didn't mean anything more than that he'd got hurt.

But the news about people disappearing worried him. One of Tamaki's friends had gone? "No-one is disappointed in you!" he said fiercely. "You're doing a great job. You're helping people when most of them are being selfish. You don't have to be happy all the time. This place sucks."

He paused for a minute, thinking about what he'd been told. "And I don't know where people go when they disappear, but they aren't dead or anything. I was here before, apparently and then I disappeared but I'm ehre now, even if I don't remember anything about it. And the same happened with Al. So they can come back."

"It's a...it's a laser." Tamaki didn't really now how to explain it. "It's some sort of super powered light, I think." He reached up and took Ed's hand in his, pulling it away from his cheek.

"They expect me to be happy all the time. The Idiot King." He gave a hoarse little laugh, that sounded very forced. "But I just can't. And... how do we know it's the same? If you don't remember, how do you know it was really you? They say there's dimensions where everybody exists, or something like that. It could have been a different you."

At least if Kyouya did come back, he wouldn't have forgotten about Tamaki. He'd still have his memories from home, right?

Super powered light? That... that sounded amazing! How did they make it and how could it remove scars? There was so much that he could ask but he managed to reign himself in for Tamaki's sake.

He was more worried now than he had been that morning. This wasn't right, that this place could hurt Tamaki so much. Because he should be happy all the time. He shouldn't have cause to be miserable. "You can't be happy all the ime," he said quietly. "But I wish you could." He hated the thought of Tamaki being forced into the kind of life that Ed had to live.

That was a good question though, but... "The people who told me, I trust them. They know me better than anyone. Al told me. And... if they remember you and remember being your friend and all the same things, is it so different?"

"I've never let them see me sad before," he explained, quietly. "Not...not really sad. I think it frightened them. But I just couldn't..." How could he do this, without getting sad sometimes?

"And what about the people that go missing that I've met here?"

It was a very quiet question, but it was one that bothered him. He'd made friends here that didn't even exist in his world! Would they have forgotten all about him, if they went missing and came back?

"If that's the case," Ed said hesitantly, because really, he was terrible with people, and now that he had friends, he was terrified that he'd say something and lose them. "If that's the case then I think maybe they're scared being here and like having you being happy because it's something familiar from home." He knew that he wouldn't have minded even Winry tormenting him while she scolded him about automail maintenance now. At least it would have been familiar. "But that doesn't mean you have to be happy all the time," he said hurredly. "Because we're not in a happy place."

He froze when Tamaki asked about that. He'd not thought about it before, but he wondered if it was more that he had been avoiding thinking about it. What would happen? They were all trying to get out of here, but when they did? He was different now than he had been back at home. He had friends now, he'd... he'd got a boyfriend. Would he forget that when he went back? And if he didn't it might be worse because he'd probably never see them again!

He squeezed Tamaki's shoulder gently and he couldn't bring himself to lie. "I... I don't know."

"What if...what if it happens to one of us?" He didn't want to forget Ed. He never wanted to forget Ed. Or any of the wonderful people he'd met here. And he didn't want them to forget him, either. The thought of it made him feel sick inside.

It was one thing to be away from people you loved. It was another to not even remember they existed.

"I don't want to forget you."

Ed winced, closing his eyes for a moment because he didn't want to hear it, didn't want to think about it. This was why he didn't get close to people, or tried not to. They left or died and he could never get over it.

He pulled Tamaki close suddenly, wrapping his arms tightly around the other boy as though he was never going to let go. No! He'd protect Tamaki and it wouldn't happen again! "It won't happen," he growled. "And even if it does, I'll make it better, in any way I have to." And that was the other reason to not get involved. "I don't want to forget you either."

Tamaki leaned into the hug, burying his face in Ed's shoulder as he clung back. It was hard to keep from crying now, and his shoulders shook as he closed his eyes and gripped Ed like a lifeline.

He wouldn't forget. No matter what happened, he wouldn't let himself forget. There had to be some way! Something they could do!

"There has to be a way," he mumbled. "Even if we're taken away from each other, even if we're sent back home or they destroy our memories, there has to be some way to... keep something of one another."

Ed squeezed his eyes shut and rested his head against Tamaki's and holding him tightly, stroking the other boy's back as his shoulders shook. After a hesitant moment, he pressed a dluttery kiss to Tamaki's hair.

He had to listen closely to even hear what Tamaki was saying when he finally spoke. It was... he couldn't help but think of the conversation he'd had with Lust earlier. What if they couldn't get back at all? And what... what if when they got the chance, they didn't want to? "We'll find something," he replied quietly. "There'll be something and or if there isn't, we'll make one." Through sheer force of will if necessary."

Tamaki nodded against Ed's shoulder, and hesitantly pulled away, eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Thank you," he said, wiping at his eyes. "I'm sorry I'm such a horrible mess today. This truly isn't like me, it isn't." But he'd just taken on so much that he needed to let some of it out.

Ed let him pull back, but didn't let go entirely, keeping his hand on Tamaki's shoulder. He managed a weak smile and shook his head. "Nothing to be sorry for," he said. "This place is enough to give anyone a few bad days." Although bad day was putting it lightly to say the least.

It felt like it had been quite some time since Fox had eaten anything, and as he had slept through brunch, now would be a good time to get some food.

Raiden was in here, talking with Axel. Fox caught them out of the corner of his eye and couldn't bring himself to look directly at them.

Instead he sat down next to two familiar blonds, Ed and Tamaki. Tamaki looked a little worse for wear, but they were both in one piece.

"I wasn't aware there were any good days in here," His voice was flat and emotionless as he spoke.

"There are good days, sometimes," Tamaki pointed out, wiping at his eyes once more. He wasn't going to look like he was crying in front of Fox.

Really, he had had good days here. And even a good night or two. Just because there were bad things happening, it didn't mean that everything had to be horrible all the time.

It was just particularly horrible right now.

Edited 2008-01-15 23:45 (UTC)

Ed looked up when someone sat down next to them, starting to smile when he saw Fox. The smile died on his lips though as he looked the older man over, turning into a worried frown. He looked like hell? Today was obviously cursed, even if Ed didn't really believe in curses.

"Fox..." he began, than swallowed. Helping Tamaki was one thing, but he didn't even know how to begin getting that dead expression off Fox's face. What had happened?

"Today isn't too bad, but I had a rough night," Fox explained. He didn't really want to explain how it had been bad. The kids really didn't need his problems added onto their own, he just did not want to be alone right now.

Tamaki was right, though, there had been good days, maybe even a night or two he would call good. It wasn't entirely bad, but it was very difficult not to let the current situation drag down all of the semi-good memories into his despair.

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Day 29: Cafeteria (2nd Shift)

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