damned_institute | Day 29: Sun Room

It was with some relief that Yuuhi awoke the next morning, in his own bed, sore and tired and achy. He would've slept more had they let him, his face down in the pillow, away from all the others and their questions and their concern. He didn't want to see them, but he managed a little smile when the nurse came in and didn't object when she lead him out into the open hallway that had been splattered with blood, plenty of it his, just last night.

The Chapel or the Sun Room? He felt he had good reason not to be terribly religious and had a feeling he wouldn't be very welcome there anyway. The Sun Room would be nice though. It was bright and cheery and he could always doodle or write notes on the community board if he'd nothing better to do. Besides, the nurse was kind enough to let him take a book with him.

He found a seat on one of the couches, far from the entrance and seated himself in the far corner, legs scrunched up against his chest so he only took up one of the cushions. He opened up where he'd left off, fingers carefully turning the worn pages of Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz.

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Orihime wasn't the only one who felt lost. Yuuhi was far out of his depth and it was only his third day. What would the others say if they found him like this, stewing and making poor little girls cry! It was awful! Even he wasn't cold enough to let a child cry unnoticed.

But it seemed he needn't have tried. Another girl joined them and it seemed she knew all the right things to say and do for the child where he felt just guilty and confused.

"Ah-" he started, sitting up a little straighter as his smile grew, if only just. "Of course, please." He watched with quiet concern, but didn't move to console the little girl, not when she already had the other. It was best not to get involved. "I'm sorry, I think I brought up something I shouldn't have."

Any arms were welcome just then, as Ururu began to sob. She hadn't meant to start crying. She really thought she was doing okay at not crying, especially since Jinta-kun called her a crybaby all the time. But she just missed Kisuke-san and the others so much, and she was alone and even a little afraid.

So when Orihime reached out for her, Ururu latched on tight, pressing her face into the older girl's shoulder. She swallowed hard, twisting fistfuls of Orihime's shirt, and shaking her head.

"Wh-where's Kisuke-san?" When she wasn't so sad, she'd help again, and tell Fai it wasn't his fault, and Keman that he wasn't a burden. But right now, the only thing she wanted, the only person she wanted was Kisuke-san, who knew everything to say to make the world seem better.

Orihime shook her head a little, her gaze not leaving the young girl sobbing in her arms. "It's not your fault." She told Fai honestly. "And it's better this way. She's too young to keep everything bottled up for so long."

She held Ururu tight, stroking her back gently and whispering soothing words in her ear while she sobbed. It was what her brother had done for her so long ago, for everything from bullies to a scrape on the knee.

But this was more than anything she'd gone through as a child. She knew how Ururu felt, because she felt the same way right now and still... she would forfeit any chance to see Ichigo again if it meant Ururu could know that Urahara hadn't abandoned her. "You're not alone, Ururu-chan. I promise I'll stay with you until we find him again, ok?"

She had to be strong for Ururu, so she swallowed the lump in her throat and closed her eyes until the tears were gone.

Yuuhi uncurled his legs and let his feet sink back to the floor. The older girl seemed to be doing fine with Ururu and he'd likely just hinder any sort of progress she'd tried to make. Even if she insisted it wasn't his fault...

"Ah... you're probably right." He didn't dare just up and leave when Ururu was already struggling with being abandoned, but he didn't feel as though he had much to add either.

To Ururu he leaned in and said quietly, "You know... A... a good friend of mine said that it's best to cry so that we can move on and figure out how to fix it or get past it. It makes us stronger."

Ururu swallowed and hiccuped and sobbed as Orhime held her, as the girl tried to comfort her and made promises. The Fai tried too, and for a moment, all the whispers and all the worrying only made her cry harder, because then Ururu felt bad for making everyone else feel bad.

But she couldn't help it. She was only a child, a small child who couldn't read well and made a lot of mistakes, but her heart was pretty smart, and her heart knew the truth, even if Ururu didn't know how, or if she didn't like it at all.

Kisuke-san wasn't there any more.

Kisuke-san was gone, and Ururu couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't find him, she couldn't help him, she couldn't even ask him for advice, because he wasn't there. The single person she loved most in the world had simply vanished, just like she had from home, and Ururu felt sick and lost, and most of all, sad.

"I'm s-sorry." And Ururu really was. She was sorry she hadn't been able to help Kisuke-san, and sorry she was making so many people upset now. So she apologized, over and over, for everything she'd ever done wrong, for everything she couldn't fix, and everyone she couldn't help.

And mostly, Ururu apologized because she didn't know what to do anymore.

"Is it really that simple?" Orihime asked, almost speaking to herself, because it had aways been so complicated for her. Fai's friend must be strong.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Orihime wasn't as strong as any of them. She wasn't brave or beautiful or cool or inspiring. All she wanted to do right now was fall apart; she was already halfway there. What could she say that wouldn't make things any worse? She could wish, and promise, and do everything in her power but that wasn't going to make Urahara come back.

It wasn't going to make Ichigo come back either. And she felt guilty and stupid the moment the thought came into her mind because Ururu was sobbing her heart out and she couldn't think of anything except that they were both gone. Alive, yes, but still gone. That was the most important thing and she couldn't make it right.

Then Ururu was saying sorry in that same litany she'd been telling herself not to cry. It wasn't alright to fall apart when Ururu needed her. Orihime gathered the last of her resolve. "Me too." She murmured. She was sorry for a lot of things too, but there was a pause where too many of them stumbled to reach her mouth and the first thing that came out was; "I'm sorry I can't make it better."

His initial feeling was correct, he wasn't doing any good here. Ururu was only crying harder than ever and now the other girl seemed ready to break at any second. It felt more and more like he was just intruding on their private moment.

"Maybe I should-" he started as he got to his feet, but thought better of his words. "Ah, I think I'll go speak with the nurse," he said, "and see if we can't find you a nice treat or maybe some crayons." He gave a smile and a nod to the other girl before he walked calmly and quietly to the nearest nurse. He did speak with her, smiled in all the right places, but said nothing of sweets or crayons. In the end, he didn't stay at all, he left quietly with one of the nurses for the other room, making as little fuss as possible and just hoped they thought he was simply accompanying the nurse as she went to fetch the desired items.

[[to the chapel (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/263910.html)]]

Day 29: Sun Room

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