Day 28: Bus 2

[misterprince.livejournal.com]

The group hadn't made it to the Twin Pines before the nurses started ushering them back to the buses. Sanji didn't believe the small sack dinner he was handed would make up for the meal they would have had at the restaurant, and aside from that he'd still wanted to check the place out. Now he had no way of comparing it to what they served at the asylum and he couldn't help but wonder if the staff had planned it that way.

Somehow in the large crowd of patients and nurses he lost track of his crewmates, something that seemed to be occurring just as often as Usopp warned it would. He had their room numbers now, though. He would find them tonight if not before.

His dinner was eaten quickly and he found it lacking, but he wouldn't complain. What he really needed was a cigarette. Bringing it up on the walk down Main Street earlier had only made him think about it more, and now he was just irritable. He tapped a light broken rhythm on the plastic pane of his window, staring out at the other patients as they were loaded into the buses also.

Comments

[broken-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Renji was usually pretty straightforward, at least from what he'd observed. If Renji didn't really think they were alright, he wouldn't say so, right? It was still worrisome, but it was good to hear a bit of reassurance all the same.

The rest though, was much harder to hear. "Release?" It took a moment before he realized what Renji was really implying. "You mean to kill her," he said quietly, as soon as he'd realized it. It was more a statement than a question. How could Renji speak so calmly about killing another human? Rhode had done some truly terrible things. She'd killed many humans and exorcists and even enjoyed it. It was hard to forget the glimmer of childish laughter and gaiety in her eyes as she'd gouged out his left eye.

Still, she was human. She was just a child, probably confused, manipulated by the Earl. Humans could change. They could get better, it didn't have to end with death. Didn't the bible say it simply enough? They weren't supposed to kill! "No," he said after a time, "It doesn't have to be like that. I- isn't there something else we could do?"

Keeping him whole? He didn't understand what Renji meant by that, but this wasn't about himself, it was about what to do so Rhode wouldn't hurt anyone here! Allen knew the risks, of course it was about responsibility! "I'm not naive enough to forget the things she's done," he added, "but there has to be something! If... if this is the way you want to handle things, maybe... maybe it's better if this remains my own problem."

[norainu]

Renji frowned. "If she is such a threat that you fear she's harmed two of your comrades," he said, "what other solution is there? This is not a place where we can imprison or reform. The only way to protect humans from what would kill and consume them is to redeem it in death." He shook his head. "What else would you have us do, Allen?" he asked. "Stand idly by and let some kind of monstrous child kill and torment the people here who are working for the good of us all? If you meant it only as a warning, fine, but the fact that you're worried about your friends - and that it sounds like they agree with my assessment - really makes me wonder if not addressing the problem would be wise at all."

He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his seat. "So tell me what else it can be," he said. He didn't ask why Allen was so appalled by the idea of killing this person; it was obvious enough, and he didn't expect everyone to be as calm about death as a Shinigami. "It's not merely your own problem if it is a threat to others. It's everyone's problem then. And even if it threatens only you, it is still our concern because you are our comrade."

[broken-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Allen shrank slightly against the evidence Renji presented. He was worried about the others. He was worried Rhode might get bored with him and move on to Rinali. He was worried she'd already harmed Ravi and Kanda. Really the most sensible response was to put a permanent stop to the problem, but...

"I don't know," he admitted. "Couldn't we try some kind of negotiations first? Surely she'd see reason if she realized she was outnumbered and it was in her best interest to behave." It was a weak argument, but he couldn't stand the idea of sending people out to murder her. It was like falling down to the Noah's level. If they started killing humans, they were no better than the villains they chased after. And now, even if they did decide to go after her later, he would be party to it, whether it was his hand that delivered the blow or not, he'd been the one to accuse her.

"Maybe... I could talk to her? I don't know why, but she does listen to me sometimes. She said she wanted to make some kind of deal. I didn't try to before, but I'm sure if... If I just play with her, she wouldn't hurt anyone." He didn't feel it would win him any arguments to mention that Rhode's idea of play usually involved blood and pain. If that was all it took to keep her at bay, then he was a small sacrifice.

[norainu]

Renji smiled dryly. "Death doesn't normally negotiate," he said. It was part joke, and part small reminder of just what Allen was currently talking to. He almost dismissed the idea out of hand, but it was also true, that they were working with people they never would have normally, in the interest of getting out. "Not negotiation," he finally said, after some pause for thought. "An ultimatum. You should not be willing to... compromise when it comes to the lives of those you care about." He paused, trying to think how best to put it. "It must be made clear that if she harms any of the other prisoners, we will destroy her without hesitation." Before Allen had a chance to protest that flat statement, he added, "Of course I'd make an exception if she was defending herself, or if she was brainwashed for a night. That shit happens. But you don't voice those exceptions because it gives her a way to try to escape. She buys her continued life with her good behavior. Nothing more, nothing less, and there's no negotiation."

He reviewed what Allen had said, frowning, and decided it would be best to add another point. "And if we go this way, you don't go talk to her alone. You're at least taking me with you." Part of it was because he didn't trust this girl to deal honorably. And part of it was because he didn't think Allen was harsh enough to stick to the ultimatum on his own. Gods knew, the boy would probably do something utterly idiotic like offer himself up as an exchange.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't like this. The only reason he was even willing to let Allen try was that he had a feeling Allen would try to either warn or defend the girl if he didn't, and that could end in disaster. And, selfishly, because the girl hadn't threatened anyone that he knew yet.

"Consider one thing, though," he said. "If we go this way, we won't find out her intentions are dishonorable until you or someone you care about is badly hurt or worse. By the time we act against her, it will be too late for someone. Can you live with that?"

Renji knew that if it was one of his own people, he wouldn't be so willing. It was a terrible decision to have to make, and he felt sorry that Allen was the one in that position.

But, as always, life was never fair.

[broken-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Death didn't usually negotiate, he knew that much. Though he'd escaped death enough times in his line of work that maybe it'd started to lose meaning. It hadn't been until his most recent escape, when he'd felt himself slipping away and his own body growing cold that he knew how frightening death could be. It was another thing entirely though, talking with Renji. Sometimes he felt like talking to the shinigami was like talking to a brick wall. It didn't bend, it didn't move, and it was terribly difficult to get around.

"If you think that would be wise," Allen wasn't sure how well delivering an ultimatum to the girl would be. She'd probably take it as a challenge more than anything else. The whole matter made him fairly uncomfortable. It wasn't his place to judge someone else, not when he was far from a perfect example. "Sometime tomorrow then I guess. I'm sure I won't have difficulty finding her." It was avoiding her that was the trouble, really.

If Rhode's intentions weren't honorable, that was the difficult part. Renji did have a point, that Rhode might end up deciding it was more fun to play by her own set of rules. But if that was the case, he was the one she'd come after first, wasn't that so? If he got hurt, that was irrelevant, it would be his own foolishness. But there was that chance that it wouldn't be him, that she would go after someone else and he knew, in the end, he'd blame himself. "All the more reason I should be the one to watch her. If anything does happen, I've handled it before... I think I'm capable of at least that much."

[norainu]

Renji shrugged. "I think maybe it'd give you a better shot at convincing her it's serious," he said. "And not an empty threat or a joke." He figured that this must be a decent answer to the matter, since neither he nor Allen seemed 100% happy about it. "Just make sure you get me or wave me over or something. Or taichou. I'll make sure he knows what's going on soon as I can."

He eyed Allen a bit suspiciously; if nothing else, from what the kid had said before, it hadn't sounded like he thought he could handle it all on his own or anything. And there was a big difference between controlling a situation and just trying to bail water out of the metaphorical sinking ship.

"You're always so eager to keep things to yourself, do stuff by yourself," Renji said, his tone one of gentle curiosity more than anything else. "Do you not trust your comrades, or are you in love with dying alone?" He really doubted either was the real reason, but maybe it was something that would prompt Allen to answer.

[broken-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Allen glanced at the ground and tried not to sigh too loudly. At least it was something. At least they weren't going to become a bunch of murderers. "I'll be sure to do that."

The other part caught him off-guard. "W-what are you talking about? Neither of those, of course! I just don't want anyone to get hurt! It... it's only practical!" As an exorcist, it was to be expected that he'd die alone one day, likely while he was still young, but that was just his lot. Exorcists rarely lived long or fulfilling lives, why have any silly expectation? He was doing this for Mana, living for Mana because that was what he'd promised.

[norainu]

"When you work alone, you've got a bigger chance of getting hurt. Or killed," Renji pointed out, reasonably enough. "Anyone is." He certainly wasn't a fan of running off by himself when it wasn't necessary. When it was a personal fight, that was a different matter; it wasn't right to drag people into personal shit. But this... this involved everyone. "I guess you can't always have your friends around, but trying to separate yourself from them when they are around is kind of... impractical."

He gave Allen a crooked smile. "Just remember when you're worrying about people getting hurt... you're someone too." He he reached over to pat Allen on the shoulder. Allen was one fucked-up kid, as far as he could tell. He needed all the support he could get. "Rukia'd be pretty pissed if something happened to you. She likes having a drawing buddy."

[broken-exorcist.livejournal.com]

"I'm used to it," he shrugged. It was true too. Until he'd ended up at the order, most of the time he'd been fighting alone. Even in the Order, there just weren't enough exorcists to always send teams or pairs. He wondered though, if Renji and Rinali hadn't been speaking when he wasn't around. They said a lot of the same things. "Rinali says the same sort of things. She got pretty mad last time."

It wasn't something he tried to do, or really thought much about, but it sure seemed to upset some people. He tensed a little when Renji patted his shoulder, it was a gesture that he still wasn't quite used to, but it seemed like he was trying to be nice. Even if he hadn't known Rukia or Renji very long, they were already worrying over him? That just seemed silly. Though he knew he'd be worried if anything were to happen to either of them, that was different, wasn't it? That was... that was just because it was his job to protect people, wasn't it? Ugh, why did Renji have to ask questions and say things that made him feel so confused?! "I was just... trying to do my job."

[norainu]

Renji laughed. "You should listen to her," he said. "Women are normally smarter than us." At least some women. The ones that counted; Renji didn't waste his time with women that weren't at least as smart as him. And as far as he knew, that wasn't all that high of a bar to set.

He nodded. "I... really understand that. You gotta realize, Allen, that it's our job, too. When I became a shinigami, I accepted a duty that'll probably get me killed some day while I'm protecting someone." He shrugged one shoulder. "I'm getting the impression that there's a lot of people with the same kind of duty as us here. So we might as well all stick together. There're a lot of us, and that means there's a much smaller chance that anyone'll end up having to make that sacrifice." He smiled. "Which makes me glad, you know?"

[broken-exorcist.livejournal.com]

He couldn't argue with that. Rinali was way smarter than he was. She'd probably actually gone to school for a few years. Allen nodded silently to show he agreed.

It was too much to hope for, he supposed, to live a quiet life and grow old and... but if many other could live life in safety and happiness because of it, then it was worth it. But Renji had a point, and a blunt way with words that he just couldn't match. "That would make me happy too," he agreed. "The fewer that are hurt, the better." He didn't like the thought of anyone being sacrificed or even his memory of that dream, seeing Rinali so sad after he'd died. He didn't want to make anyone sad.