damned_institute | Day 28: Germaine Street

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Day 28: Germaine Street

Rhode didn't want to have to let go of Allen, not ever. It could be forever before she was able to be with him again! But the nurses were persistent in moving her off the big yellow thing, as was Allen for getting away from her. Even outside of the building, people were just determined to keep her from being with him! It wasn't fair!

Once off the bus and shivering just slightly from the crisp fall air, Rhode was handed a small booklet of what the nurse called "coupons". It took some explaining, but Rhode was eventually able to understand that the thin pieces of paper in the book were supposed to be used like money here. She wasn't at all accustomed to buying things for herself; that was supposed to be the Earl's job. When Rhode expressed this problem, the nurse only gave her a sad smile and patter her in the direction of the buildings.

"Why don't you go find something fun to do? There's a toy store just around the corner there. Don't worry about being alone though, we're all here to keep an eye on you. If anything happens, just come get one of us," the nurse explained, nodding to the staff members that were set to parole the town for any problems their more unruly patents could cause.

So, they were all going to be watched even though they could roam about freely? Rhode took a look back towards the yellow things but was unable to pick out Allen from the mess of patients. In a few moments, she probably wouldn't be able to find him at all or for the rest of the day. Should she just resign herself to that for now and use the small bit of freedom to her advantage? Being with Allen was important, and a lot of fun but...

She glanced down at the coupons again, smiled up at the nurse as best she could, and gave a quick, "Okay!" before running off as suggested.

A small bit of freedom was bound to make her feel better. Maybe she could use it to remind herself of how she was supposed to handle Allen Walker, an exorcist. This town did have a similar air to that of the Rewinding Town, after all.

[went here]

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It probably had to be done.

Yohji sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he spotted Aya. He'd managed to avoid any of the others on the bus ride thankfully and caught some much needed sleep on the way. He should probably talk to Omi too, but Aya first. He was a much more familiar variable than this younger version of Omi. He was sure at one point that he'd been able to deal with Omi just fine, but now... Hell, he felt old.

"Hey, Aya," he said quietly, approaching the younger man.

Aya paused as he heard a familiar voice addressing him. He sighed softly and glanced at the blond over his shoulder. He wasn't quite able to explain all the reasons why he thought it was necessary that he wouldn't just continue on his way and would listen to whatever Yohji had to say, but the fact was still intact, he'd better do so, or he'd regret later.

"Kudoh," he responded quietly and turned the whole way back toward Yohji. He had not seen Yohji around yesterday but based on his talk with Ken, Yohji had been okay. Or at least as okay as he seemed capable of. And with that thought Aya decided that it'd be best to ask anyhow, maybe it'd soften the blow a little.

"Are you okay?" he asked, leveling a steady gaze at Yohji.

Maybe it wasn't such a good time to be bothering Aya after all, not with the sigh that just his presence illicited. Or maybe he was just persona non gratias with the rest of Weiss. Probably both with his luck.

Speaking of luck... He glanced around for a second at the people emerging from the buses. He didn't see Cliff anywhere which unnerved him a little. The man hadn't been injured or anything... Ah, he'd probably just missed him. He hoped.

The flat tone of Aya's voice made him wince inwardly and he shrugged one shoulder, the baggy t-shirt nearly slipping down off it. "You know me, when am I ever?" he replied with a self depreciating smirk. At least he could make it a joke. "You?"

A bit different than what Aya had expected, even a curve of lips if a bit on the sarcastic side. Either he seriously couldn't trust Yohji or the man was getting better in lying.

"Been better," he said simply, studying for now. It was easy to push aside everything that was bothering him when he was presented with Yohji, the abundance of distress. Aya followed Yohji's gaze around, wondering who he was waiting for, and deciding that it was better not to ask after all. There was a chance the answer wouldn't be appreciated.

"We need to talk one of these days." Aya decided to drive straight to it, in case whoever Yohji was waiting for would appear soon. The thought came with a bit of frustrated sadness but he pushed it aside as fast as he could recognize it. "Somewhere less crowded."

Yeah, that was expected. They'd all been better. Usually before they'd joined Weiss. Seemed they had a quota of pain and hurt to reach to be part of the group.

He remained still and let Aya study him, not making any attempt to break the other man's concentration. He had things to hide, they all did, but it hardly mattered when he was presented with Aya.

The words took him by surprise and he nodded dumbly in agreement before he found his voice. "I'm here now," he said quietly. "I'm sure we can find somewhere quieter now we're not in that place." It sounded pretty ominous and he couldn't quite suppress a shiver, his mouth going dry. This was it, he guessed. Were they finally washing their hands of him?

Arching his brows, Aya allowed a small 'hn' of surprise pass his guard. He'd been wrong? No company to wait? What was it then? Nervousness? Why not? Yohji probably was thinking Weiss would push him aside like a used rag doll. He snorted softly for his own thoughts and glanced aside himself, at the nurses and other 'patients'.

"Alright," he said softly, catching Yohji shivering as he turned back to look at the blond. "Where's your jacket?" he asked, almost reaching for the baggy t-shirt to pull it up to cover Yohji's bony shoulder better. But stopped himself just in time and instead wrapped an arm around himself. He was starting to feel the effects of the lack of apetite and having lost some blood, he felt practically anemic, cold fingers and tiredness.

"Why don't we go that way?" He pointed towards the end of the street, opposite from the direction most people seemed to be gravitating towards.

Yohji nodded sharply, a faintly worried expression on his face now that that was decided. Maybe he should have avoided Aya instead, chosen a time when he didn't look too annoyed. "Uh..." he blinked in surprise and shook his head. "Jacket? Didn't get one." Not entirely true. They'd given him one but it was awful looking and he still had his vanity. He shrugged dismissively. "Its not that cold anyway."

He glanced over to where Aya had pointed and nodded, moving a little closer to the other man so they could walk together. "Sounds good."

"Hn." Aya arched his brows in faint disbelief but instead of arguing about it, he just pulled the stupid looking cardigan tighter around himself. If Yohji had been looking for a moment when he was not annoyed, it didn't exist in this place. His dislike for hospitals had not gone anywhere, only grown darker along the week he had been spending here.

When Yohji moved, Aya moved with him, starting towards the end of the street in calm pace, like he was in no hurry. In fact he couldn't have moved much faster.

Okay, maybe it was a little cold, but Yohji intended to make use of ths little bit of control he was given. He could damn well choose not to wear a coat or jacket if he wanted and they couldn't make him. It was stupid and petty but he needed that now even if he was already getting goosebumps along his arms from the chill.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked finally, a little afraid of what the answer would be.

When they were far enough to blend a little to the to the background, out of hearing range at least, Aya glanced at Yohji from the corner of his eye but kept walking forward. He'd rather get out of sight as well, some of the bastards did not listen to conversations with their ears.

"I need to know what we owe for Schuldig," he said tiredly, knowing he'd probably have to fight every bit of information out of Yohji. "And before you even think about it," he added quickly, throwing another warning glance at Yohji. "Don't lie to me. I think we're beyond the point where we could afford that."

He felt like he was being lead to his execution, or some equally morbid metaphor which he'd rather not consider. He doubted the nurses would allow it, but he deserved it and he wouldn't stop Aya if he tried, he didn't think.

He practically flinched when the telepath's name was brought up, lowering his eyes and a tired expression appearing on his face. He should have known that this would be brought up, had been expecting it since that night. He'd been a fool to ignore it this long and now he'd probably ruined any chance of anything between Schwartz and Weiss which just made them more vulnerable.

He turned his head away guiltily, the warning glance making it clear that he was entirely untrustworthy in Aya's eyes right now. "I didn't know. Honestly. It was an agreement to not attack each other when we were the only ones here. He told me a few things, gave me a little information, like where Ken was the other night."

And instantly he winced, realising that he'd probably said entirely too much with that one comment. Fuck.

It obviously meant Yohji had been with Schuldig to be able to ask him. Doing what? Aya didn't really care. He had decided on this when he had talked with Yohji the first time, there would be trust, even if it was foolish. He'd be damned if he'd go back on his word.

"Yohji," he said silently, pausing his steps even if he considered it stupid and turned towards the blond. "This is not an accusation, I just need to know the facts that affect all of us."

They had parted with harshly spoken words the other night, Aya didn't regret, per se. But there was time when he could indulge in childish display of temper and times when not. This would be of the later variety. Personally he would have liked to know what Yohji had been doing with Schuldig. And why. He would have liked to demand and spit upon the demands at the same time. But the colder side of him that was unfortunately winning the arguments within more often than not, reminded him that he couldn't afford the luxury of personality if he wanted to win at this game.

"I need you to decide," he said firmly, reaching for Yohji, and while clasping his shoulder, he lifted the shirt to cover more skin. "Omi's just too young. We can't lean onto him this time. It should be the other way around." Aya had never thought he'd be here, giving this speech. Or that he'd be capable of it even. Kikyo must have been right, Shion had taught him more than just how to handle his sword. "We need to stop fighting the futile fights."

It should have been an accusation. This understanding was somehow worse than an accusation could have been. "It doesn't matter," he said harshly, refusing to meet Aya's sharp gaze. "I was associating with Schwartz which is as bad as associating with Esset or Rosenkreuz and I've done both within the last wo weeks!" he said darkly, clenching his hands into fists and feeling his nails dig into his skin. He couldn't be trusted, no matter what he did. "I should've known better, but I never do." After what Schwartz had done to them, Aya's sister, Ouka... he should have just walked away as soon as he saw Schuldig.

He tensed beneath the touch, letting Aya do whatever he wanted with that damn shirt. It would just slip down again anyway, what with it being a couple of sizes too big at least. "Decide what?" he asked quietly. He knew... he knew they had to help and support Omi, knew that they couldn't keep fighting amongst themselves, but things were so fucked up that he didn't see how that could even happen.

"Schwarz is not the same as Esset or Rosenkreuz. You know that, I know that, they know that as well. Don't play stupid, Kudoh." Aya started out louder than was wise and had to take few deep breaths to calm himself down. Damn Yohji! "The hell is your problem? You keep crucifying yourself even if there's little need for it. I doubt that none of us would have done much differently in your position."

Frustrated and tired of talking to brick walls sometimes could be called teammates as well, he grabbed Yohji's chin and turned the man's face towards himself. "I don't care what you've done with Schuldig. In fact, I'm glad you were clever enough to reach out for someone. But you better remember where your loyalties lie. You told me I could trust you. It seems you're hellbent on making me believe otherwise." This easily Shion's lessons were forgotten as well. Maybe Aya just had a bit too much temperament.

"Stop being a whiny idiot, and clean up!" The last words were snapped with narrowed eyes, Yohji's chin released with annoyance. Aya hated admitting weakness, or needing someone.

[apologies on the brainless factor of the post. So tired I can hardly see straight. X__o]

He didn't think he'd ever seen this kind of anger from Aya directed against anyone except Takatori before, even when Yohji had attacked his teammate. His eyes widened in shock at the verbal assault and he cursed himself for screwing up yet again. "You know what I did," he hissed viciously, fixing Aya with a dark glare. "And Ken told me what happened after... after the building collapsed. I don't deserve it!"

He flinched when his chin was grasped and he was forced to meet Aya's eyes. He'd care if he knew, or maybe he wouldn't. He'd done the same with Tsuji after all, and with others Kritiker wanted information from. He smiled weakly. "I don't trust myself. I can't exactly expect anyone else to."

He turned away, shoulders slumping as he was released. "I'm sorry."

Neither had Aya seen this kind of self loathing from Yohji, not even when the man had been high on some random drug and practically bathing in blood of some minor criminals. It pissed him off, thinking how much he worried and watched after the idiot who just wanted to sink deeper into his personal hell. It seemed no different from before and Aya was getting so tired with it.

"Fine, Yohji, just wallow in your self-pity and regret. I suppose that is the only selfish way out of this, right?"

He watched Yohji's back for a moment, biting on his lip hard enough to draw blood, the metallic tang on his palate nauseating and yet grounding. He had tried every spell in the book, obviously nothing was working. The truth would come out would he like it or not. Omi would just have to have his head for it, or Ken, or whomever. Maybe the person Yohji had been waiting for. But this was Aya, and Yohji, would he have ever bothered to find out, would have known Aya couldn't just watch from the sidelines, he'd rather not watch at all if he couldn't help it.

"We'll talk about this again when you have grown out a spine," he said sharply, then turned away and started walking.

Ah, but he'd had a purpose then. A petty and malicious purpose maybe, but killing had given him a direction, at least for a short while. Him and Ken both, they hadn't been able to function without Weiss to grasp onto. It made him feel kinda' sick just thinking about it.

"I never claimed to be anything but selfish, you know that," he snapped back in return although the words felt like a physical blow to his chest. Selfish idiot, Kudoh. Always putting himself first before the rest of Weiss. Heh, why else would he have sold them out if he were anything but?

He visibly flinched at Aya's parting words but made no move to stop the other man from walking away. He clasped his hands around the back of his neck and squeezed his eyes shut, fingernails digging into his skin.

[to here (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/244549.html?thread=17587525#t17587525)]

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Day 28: Germaine Street

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