damned_institute | Day 28: Bus 1

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Day 28: Bus 1

Zelgadis was not happy, at all. Not that this was any change, but the events of the past few hours had given him more to angst about than usual. Nightshift had been dreadful: first he was attacked by a small green man and then covered in leeches, neither of which lead to warm fuzzy feelings.

And now this.

When the nurse had come into his room with new clothes he had a small glimmer of hope-- some thief had taken his normal Landel's wear in the night, so perhaps this was a change in luck. However, it was not the godsend he had hoped for. Minus the threat of sedation, there was nothing in the universe that could make Zelgadis wear a bright lemon-yellow shirt. There was a jacket of a slightly more tasteful variety, so Zelgadis made good us of it-- he put all his coupons in a pocket and pulled up the hood. It was almost as good as his cloak. Well, no it wasn't, but it would have to do.

With mild protesting, Zelgadis was lead to a large yellow vehicle. He climbed the stairs, took a seat towards the back, and readied himself for another frustrating day of being attacked and threatened with spoons.

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Shadow put his hand over Valyn's and squeezed it. He knew the elf was trying and it was enough to snap him out of whatever was rushing through his head. "Don't, Val. I know. I'm not jealous... not really. It's just... "

He looked over at Valyn and suddenly everything he had wanted to say came pouring out in one heated rush. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to confront your father? You just disappeared and suddenly, out of nowhere, there was an explosion and you... you vanished. I couldn't feel you anymore. You were just gone. I know you say you didn't die but that wasn't what it felt like. That wasn't what it looked like either. There was nothing left. And then to have to hear it from Zed that you left to see Dyran... You didn't even tell me goodbye."

Shadow's voice broke and he had to look away. They were on a bus surrounded by strangers and he was on the verge of crying. Ancestors he needed to pull it together. "And now it's business as usual and you're talking about marrying Shana to create a strong bond between halfbloods. Well, I hate to tell you that it will be much harder then you think. She's been exiled from the Citadel. The elves want her dead. Even if we do go back... we're outsiders again."

"Keman's the one talking about marrying Shana, not me," Valyn pointed out, gently. But he knew it wasn't going to distract Shadow from the topic at hand. he sighed and shrugged.

"And don't worry about politics right now. We'll fix that when we get home." There were ways. As for the rest....

"I knew if I told you, you'd try and talk me out of it. And I'm sorry, but there was no other choice. I knew my father. I knew what he was thinking, I knew how to deal with him. And I knew that I was more powerful than him, and knew his magic well enough to use it against him if it came to that. Something needed to be done, so I did it." He turned his hand over, threading his fingers through Shadow's.

"And I didn't say goodbye because I wasn't intending on taking so long to get back to you."

"Put yourself in my place," Shadow said softly, looking down at their hands. "If my presence just disappeared and there was nothing but a hole left... would you have been patient for me to return? Or would you have assumed the worse and wonder why I hadn't discussed it with you first? You're right, I would have tried to talk you out of it. But I also know that you're stubborn enough to somehow win the argument. I at least would have liked to have been a part of that conversation."

"No. I wouldn't have been." Valyn was nothing but honest. "Shadow, I'm sorry, but I did what I did and I can't change it. And I took out my father and I can't apologize for that." It had been the right thing to do. Dyran needed to be killed.

"I didn't discuss it with anyone. The only reason Zed even knew was because I needed to get out of the Citadel. Otherwise it would have been handled completely in secrecy."

Shadow shuddered. The thought that he would have been left to wonder what had happened to Valyn was even worse then having Zed tell him. "We can't change what has happened," Shadow said rationally. "But, we can change what will happen in the future. If you feel the need to do the right thing again, could you tell me next time? Even a note would be appreciated."

Shadow glanced around before leaning forward and brushing his lips against Valyn's in a brief kiss. "I just don't want to lose you again."

"I can't make any promises." Valyn leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Shadow's. He wished he could, but he couldn't. He knew he was prone to being stubborn and stupid and rushing off half cocked. He'd needed to have that thrown in his face a few times since coming here, but he had finally come to grips with all his faults.

"You know how I am, Shadow. And... I know how I am. But ancestors help me, I'm trying to change."

"Don't change too much," Shadow smiled. "I still like the old Valyn. If you start being reasonable and not fighting me on my ideas, I'm going to think you are the clone monster."

He squeezed Valyn's hand, happy to have him this close once more. "I love you, Val," he whispered. "Let's keep a few things the same."

"But we shouldn't fight all the time. I shouldn't fight all the time." He didn't know quite how to tell Shadow what he felt. He picked the words as carefully as he could, struggling with them. knowing how odd they had to sound in a monotone - if rough - voice.

"At the very least I should be able to apologize afterwards and admit when I'm wrong. I don't want to be like my father, Shadow. And I see how easily it could happen. How maybe it would have happened, if things had just been a little bit different."

He closed his eyes, still leaning into his cousin.

"Some things won't ever change, Shadow."

"You won't ever be your father," Shadow said, very serious. "No matter what other elven traits you have you could never be your father. You have never once raised your hand in anger toward any human slave. You treat humans and halfbloods as well as you do elves, or at least you try to. You grew up differently then the rest of us and some of the discrimination was beaten into you at an early age. If you need to be reminded of just how unlike your father you are, Val, take a look at my back and remember why we left."

He shifted so that he was sitting closer to Valyn, his arm drifting behind his back and around his waist. "We don't fight all the time, we have disagreements. And you apologize in your own way. I just know you. Others don't. It will be better now that I'm here to smooth things over."

Shadow smiled, any remnant of jealousy vanishing quickly. "I should hope not," he whispered in return.

"I'll trust you to keep me out of fist fights," Valyn said, leaning his head on Shadow's shoulder. He wanted to believe Shadow. But he couldn't ignore the fact that his temper was growing shorter, and that maybe he had never raised a hand to a human or halfblood, but he'd certainly considered himself better than plenty of them.

"It's been awful without you," he admitted. "And feeling that we'd drifted apart, and then I was taken from you and I worried I'd never see you again. That we wouldn't be able to have what we used to." That we'll never be able to have what I want us to have.

"We'll always have what we used to have," Shadow reassured him. "I'm not interested in changing that. And I know that things were a bit different the moment we arrived at the Citadel. It was that harlot of an elf Triana and I never properly apologized before being thrown into preparing for a war..."

Shadow shook his head. "That's no excuse. I know it isn't and I'm sorry. I suppose I worried and frightened you as much as you did to me."

"Oh, Triana." Valyn waved a hand. "I fell to her charms myself, when I was younger. Well you remember. You don't need to apologize. She has a way about her." Which was a polite way of simply saying the woman was a shameless sexual predator. And she had most likely used a few rather dirty tricks in her little game.

"I was too used to being the only person in your life," Valyn admitted, referring to their time in the Citadel. "I was jealous, and I pulled away from you. And I apologize for that."

"Well, I left her with quite a shock," Shadow grinned wickedly. "I doubt she'll ever think of trying those glamours on anyone else anytime soon. I wonder how she liked having her own game turned back around on her? I only wish I could have seen her face."

Shadow blinked at Valyn admitted that he was jealous. "You? Jealous? I think I'm flattered. This change I like, sharing our feelings. It makes it easier to know what you're thinking now that I don't have my magic."

"I'd say you did." And it was about time someone put that woman in her place.

"I'm trying. Renji...doesn't leave me alone about it. And I realize he has a point, but it isn't easy. I just don't want to be completely closed off from you. Before you could always see what was inside. Now you can't." Which was going to make things difficult as time went on. He was used to not having to tell Shadow things.

"And yes, jealous. I'm not used to sharing you."

"Renji. You mentioned him last night. I'd like to meet him, just to see what sort of person was able to get you to start talking about your feelings," Shadow snickered, amazed that anyone other then him could crack Valyn's facade.

"I'm not used to sharing you either, not with anyone other then a few harem ladies and even then it wasn't quite sharing. You don't have anything to be jealous about. You'll always have me, Valyn. I promise."

"He's one of the first people I met here." Valyn glanced up and saw the man's familiar red hair. "That's him, there. He's taken an interest in me. Keman's met him. He's rather crude and very blunt." And that was all that Valyn felt like saying about Renji at the moment.

"That was a different sort of sharing," he responded with a touch of a smirk. Between only himself and Shadow, he was more willing to tease. "Mmm, will I? Even if Shana manages to have her wicked way with me?"

"That all depends," Shadow replied, giving Valyn a roguish grin. "Will I be able to watch Shana have her wicked way with you? Because that would be quite a sight to see. Maybe we should invite Keman as well. Wouldn't want anyone to feel left out."

"Shadow!" Valyn cleared his throat and looked away, blushing. Shadow's teasing had hit a little too close to home.

Then there was a shuddering through the large metal wagon and Valyn grabbed Shadow's thigh to keep from falling.

"Ancestors! This thing is vibrating!" How was it moving? How was it being powered? The fact that they were rolling out of the gates hadn't even hit him yet. He was more concerned with the rather unsafe seeming form of transportation.

He had to laugh at how red Valyn had become. "Too much?" he chuckled. "I suppose I did go a bit too far. We should start small. Four is too much at once."

The carriage began to move which startled him. Shadow clung to the seat, wondering how he was supposed to keep from being tossed to the ground. "Why aren't there straps to hold onto?" he said, gripping Valyn's arm tight.

"I have no idea." This was rather unpleasant! "This caravan isn't designed very well at all." At least the seats were properly bolted down. But the jolting and shaking was ridiculous!

"This is nearly as bad as riding Keman," he muttered, shifting to try and keep his seat. How long was this going to take?

"I doubt dragons were really meant to be ridden," Shadow said, glancing around him. "But at least Keman warned you whenever he was going to make a sudden turn."

Some of the others on the carriage looked as though they were at home on the shaking object. They didn't seem to mind which made Shadow think they were either used to such transportation or they were touched in the head. "Do you think this will be a long ride? I'm afraid I might get sick."

"No, but it would be so convenient if they were." Valyn frowned, not liking the jostling. It had smoothed out some, but....

"I don't know." He shook his head and looked out the window. They were on the side of the mountain, but he couldn't see down it for the trees. "No one mentioned the length of time it would take. But I can't imagine it being very long.... just try and take long, deep breaths."

Shadow tried to do as Valyn asked but the carriage seemed to hit a bump each time his stomach began to settle somewhat. "This isn't good," he groaned, holding his belly and turning slightly green. "I should not have eaten what the nurse handed me this morning. I don't think it agreed with me."

He leaned his head on Valyn's shoulder. Keeping his head down seemed to help a bit but he still felt ill. "Tell me when it's over?"

"It's not that bad," Valyn soothed, letting his arm drift around his cousin's waist. "And you need to eat. You can't let your strength down in here. Even if the food is strange sometimes." He tried to stay away from any meat swimming in grease.

"You'll feel better once you get a bit of fresh air."

"I hope so," he mumbled, wincing as the carriage turned once more. "And don't talk about food right now. It's the last thing that I want on my mind."

Valyn's arm felt nice around his middle. Shadow moved closer, brushing his leg against Valyn's. "What does outside look like?" he asked. "Does it look like home?"

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notmyfather.livejournal.com - 2007-10-30 02:56 (UTC) - Expand

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