damned_institute | Nightshift 26 -- M46

"Thank you." Roland offered a small smile to the man, which faltered with each painful step the other man took. He was alive, sure, but... very obviously hurt, and very obviously quite badly. All because of Indra's hunger. Yet Roland knew that he himself was to blame as well; at that moment he'd hungered for Ginji's flesh, he'd exulted in the streams of blood and the meat he'd managed to swallow.

So he walked over to one of the beds, easing himself down and gazing at the other man. "...I'm Roland, by the way. And yes, I'm the guy who talked to you on the bulletin board. I'm glad I could see you tonight."

Ginji smiled. "I'm Ginji," he offered then he looked a little embarrassed. "I... uh... already said that on the board." He paused for a moment to think of what to ask next. He remembered that Roland had mentioned he might not be able to make it to the room during that night.

"Did you make it over here okay?" he asked. "Were you attacked at all?" He didn't know Roland well, but he was already worried. He would hate for someone to get hurt to answer some of his questions.

A quiet chuckle at that. Ginji honestly seemed like a decent person, if first impressions were to be trusted. Shame that he got caught in the grinder. But wasn't that the great cosmic question? Why did bad things happen to good people?

The older man nodded slightly. "Yeah, for the first time in three nights I didn't run into anything. I'm still holding out for another flesh-eating monster at some point, though." Said lightly, of course; Roland was used to being hunted, and he was pretty sure he could handle it. With the scorpion stinger-tipped desk fragment in his hand, and far more power lingering in his own body, he was confident he could handle most things.

Ginji smiled slightly in the way that clearly stated that he hoped Roland didn't have to face any sort of flesh-eating monsters in the future, but it seemed redundant to say so.

"So... you saw what happened to me then?" he asked, changing the subject. He didn't mean to rush, but he was really curious and if Roland had the answers he wanted then he had to ask the questions.

That hope was noticed and appreciated, but Roland did nothing more than acknowledge it briefly. He had far too heavy a karmic debt to get out of anything quite that easily; considering that it was guaranteed that he'd be even worse off as time progressed, it was almost a certainty that he'd be suffering for a long time to come.

"Yes, I did. First of all... I have to ask your forgiveness. I was close enough to see the entire thing, and yet I was unable to do anything for you."

Ginji shook his head. "It's okay. I wouldn't have wanted someone else to get into danger because of me anyway," he smiled a little embarrassed. It was really hard to admit that he couldn't remember anything. He was also ashamed that someone had seen him when he was like..... that. "I just wish I could remember what happened to me."

The tricky thing about karma was that, even though Ginji honestly seemed to wish for Roland's safety, the paler man was still in danger simply because of what had happened. And the ironic part was that there was no good way for Roland to get rid of said bad karma; he couldn't heal in human form, and telling Ginji the full truth would have hurt far more than it could have helped.

So another weight was added to Roland's moral burden, and he'd just have to bear it as well as he could until it all backlashed on him.

Roland gazed at Ginji for awhile, thinking of how to phrase the events so as to not reveal himself too badly. But, of course, the allure of exposition eventually spurred him into going into his usual long-winded manner. "From what I saw... there were some other guys with you, two or maybe three, and then some kind of... demon." The phrase made Roland grimace; it was accurate, but the writer in him wanted to make it something even more accurate. Ah well. "About double your height when you were standing up, with three blades out of its right hand and weird disc-like appendages on each foot and its left hand."

That nearly killed him. He almost wanted to say 'Vajra' instead of just 'blades,' and add a few more poetic descriptions... but that would imply far too much familiarity with the topic. Better to stick mostly to the facts. "And a circle around its head. It's... really hard to describe, so forgive me for taking so long." And he weakly chuckled; even though the demon was himself, he still wasn't sure how exactly to describe Indra to those who hadn't seen it- or who couldn't remember it.

That, like the real effects of the demonic hunger, could only be understood in a personal manner.

"Anyway, once it saw you it brought down lightning from the sky and shot it at you, and somehow you started sending lightning right back at it. It looked like a dynamo; arcs of electricity shooting this way and that, making us normal people backpedal just to stay safe... but while that was happening it stabbed you with its blades and..."

The shudder that crawled down Roland's spine was entirely unfeigned. He remembered feeding on Ginji's flesh, ripping into the meal and stuffing the sweet sustenance down his throat, just as he had many times before. But all of those times, whoever he'd eaten hadn't survived the process; Ginji had. And looking into those soft brown eyes, Roland was stuck with just how far away he'd fallen from what he had been.

At least that meant that he still had some humanity, beneath all the layers of demonic infection? "...and started trying to devour you, starting from the feet and working up. One of the others had to have distracted it and gotten you to safety after that. I couldn't really see what was going on after; without the lightning I could only hear what was going on."

Ginji listened very carefully to Roland's words. His smile faded as he described the demon that had attacked him. When he had finished, Ginji bent down slightly and lifted up a bit of his pant leg, revealing more of the wrapped up foot that was still missing parts of its flesh.

He frowned and then nodded. "Thank you for telling me," he said in a far away sounding voice. He had almost been eaten alive. That thought wasscarier than Ginji had thought possible. He wondered if he hadn't have changed into his other self if he would have survived at all.

There was also the fact that the monster had used electricity and had basically beaten him. That was twice since he had come to this place that the power had been used against him. It was difficult to think about. Lightening and electricity had always been a strange source of comfort to Ginji, his weapon, his friend. Dangerous, yes, as it brought out the worst in him, but it also meant that he could fight for what he believed in.

In this place, his control of it was limited and people and creatures could use it against him. He felt utterly and completely helpless about the situation and it showed on his face. He didn't look directly at Roland because he couldn't muster up a smile and he didn't want to have to share his sadness with a complete stranger. He needed to be stronger, especially if he planned on surviving this place.

Not for the first time since waking up at Landel's, Ginji wanted just to see Ban and talk to him. He missed his partner more than ever. At least Ban would have been able to snap him out his mood.

"...hey, don't worry about it." Roland was really rather glad that his normally pale features didn't change much when he blanched; having that leg bared was like waving a piece of meat in front of a ravenous dog. Roland was glad that he had far more self-control than most of the rest of Embryon; if he hadn't, then he'd have tried to sink his teeth into Ginji, and that would have been disastrous.

While Ginji looked away, Roland slowly stood to his feet, walking over to the door and leaning against it. He'd said all that he'd promised to, but at the same time, he didn't want to leave the other man in that sort of state. He'd seen that expression before, far too many times for comfort; leading a group of normal humans against ravenous demons, feelings of helplessness and everything that went with it was only natural. Especially for those who could no longer fight like they'd want to.

It was all Roland's fault anyway. He had to try to find some way of making it better. "...for what it's worth," he finally offered, "during the battle I saw some kids slipping by that monster. Just thinking about what would have happened if it hadn't been distracted turns my stomach, so... thanks. For doing what I couldn't."

And it was sad that Roland meant far more by that statement than he'd ever let on.

Ginji managed a smile, but it was still very sad. It was worth it if what Roland was saying was true.

"Thanks, Roland-san," he said to the pale man with an entirely sincere voice. "You didn't have to come here tonight to tell me all of this and I really do appreciate knowing it."

It was better to know, wasn't it? At least he hadn't hurt anyone this time. That was always good.

"Do you know what happened to the monster?" he asked, frowning slightly. Even if it had been trying to eat him alive, that didn't mean that Ginji had any right to hurt it too. Though by the sounds of it the thing hadn't even been very threatened by Ginji or Raitei.

It was ironic, but Roland felt like he really did have to go and tell Ginji all of those things. It was a tiny fraction of the karmic debt that was owed; besides, only a coward wouldn't face his victim in the eyes. Not that Ginji knew about all of this... but that was for the best. Better to repay the debt and then be pushed away then to be rejected out of hand and be unable to do anything. "Like I said, don't worry about it. It was the least I could do."

"As for the monster? Once you were dragged off the scene it kept going after anyone else who ran across it, or it was until I left as well. I don't imagine anyone stopped it." It was almost saddening, how used he was to telling half-truths and misleading facts. All of that journalistic training really came in handy this time.

Ginji frowned slightly. He didn't want the monster hurt, but he also didn't want anyone else hurt. He sighed.

"Do you know if any one else got hurt by it?" He really couldn't remember anything from the fight or after it, not until he woke up the next day close to lunch time. He didn't bother trying to search his memory, he knew there was nothing left from the fight. He had taken it away.

Did he know anyone who'd gotten hurt by it? That was almost laughable. He remembered all of that blood in his mouth, the flesh that had slid down his throat... and those thoughts made the hunger burn even brighter. His empty stomach grumbled its complaint, and for a moment Roland clenched his left hand over his face. He was so hungry, especially with Ginji right there, helpless and an easy meal...

No, he knew his limit. And if he stayed any longer, he'd be risking a terrible temptation, one that he wasn't sure if he could resist. And if he couldn't, then he'd pay a price for it. Better to cut it short than to risk that. "One or two others, but I've seen them up and about. No one has it as bad as you did." A pause, and then a sheepish look. "Listen, I've got some people waiting for me... If you've got some time tomorrow, we should talk further. But for now, I'm pretty sure that they'll leave without me if I don't hurry up. Try to take care, all right?"

And with rather more haste than he'd normally use, Roland slipped out of the room and shut the door behind him. The hunger was gnawing at the back of his mind; while he could still fight it off, he'd be distracted if he didn't get some sort of meal down him. Now, where to find it?

((Off to here. (http://community.livejournal.com/damned/204613.html) ))

Nightshift 26 -- M46

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