DAY 65: Breakfast

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar came to slowly, vision blurred and head throbbing. His memory of the previous night was vague and somewhat scattered. What he was most aware of was his renewed and increased hatred for the man called Lingormr. The Ishbalan didn't give a damn if he had been a special counseling patient. That bastard had enjoyed every second of tearing Scar to shreds. What he may or may not have realized was how much it had affected Scar emotionally. He had felt a renewed sense of drive at the start of the night; the disruption on the intercom and the news of the 'cure' had rekindled a fire that fueled Scar to drive forward. To have a little hope.

Lingormr had promptly crushed that.

He was in pain. So much pain. The cut on his hand was only fading scab at this point, but stitches now pulled at the deep gashes in his legs and back. Not only had the nausea not settled, but his stomach was beginning to cramp. The rash on his arm was impossible to hide without the old bandages covering it. It had nearly reached his elbow.

Scar's hazy eyes could make out the nurse, now pushing a wheelchair up to his bedside. This was humiliating. And he was too exhausted and hurting to lash out or become angry. He was just broken. He still tried to take some sort of grudging control, insisting that he didn't need to be pushed around, that he could at least turn the wheels of the damned chair himself. But he didn't make it down the hallway before the pulling and sharp pain in his back became so obvious on his face that the nurse took over.

He entered breakfast with a frustrated, tired, but overall defeated look to him. Scar felt too sick to eat. He sat at the table and brooded, wishing more than anything to simply be left alone.

[For Goku!]

Comments

[sixth_attack]

"Huh, he must have been that traitor Aguilar was nagging about over the intercom before then..." Sechs pondered out loud to himself with a nod, "Hopefully he'll help us better than that Radio guy..."

"N-no, I'm ok," Sechs said in a strained tone. He put the toast back down and wrapped his uncovered arm around his middle. Geeze, what was wrong with him? It felt like the same metaphorical hand that punched him in the gut was now clutching at his abdomen! "I... I think I've just been eating my breakfast a bit too fast..." He tried to smile at his own little joke, but it came out too pained to be humorous. "Uh... That's all..."

At least, that was what he hoped it was.

"So uh... In the X-Ray room huh?" Sechs hastily added, trying to ignore the unfamiliar cramping in his belly. "Hopefully somebody found that clue and is gonna share it with us. There supposed to be more clues coming up or something?"

[no_dont_go]

"Yes. Marc has been... unfortunately lukewarm in his abilities." And even that was giving him more than he deserved.

Aigis sat back down, but her brow remained creased. If Sechs was actually hurt, she expected him to be honest. But she wouldn't push the subject. The situation jogged her memory, and she couldn't help the slight smile that came to her face. "I made that mistake my first time eating. It is best to carefully chew your food, Sechs-san."

Aigis pushed her own glass of milk in her companion's direction. Hopefully the drink would help clear his throat a bit more.

The android tilted her head, uncertain. "Perhaps? I have not yet checked, but if it is a chase for an antidote..." That would not be good. A bloodbath would ensue if the portions were limited, as well. She shook her head. "I hope that is not the case."

[sixth_attack]

"Right..." Sechs gave Aigis a small but sincere smile as he took the offered drink. After taking a careful gulp, he pushed the French toast away and glumly eyed the fruit slices his nurse insisted on adding to his breakfast. "I just hadn't eaten anything for so long..." he grumbled, picking up a piece of cantaloupe. "Just couldn't get the appetite for anything because of..."

...Because he had a virus that would surely change him into a killing machine against his will. Any opportunities he had to eat were spoiled by his symptoms and all the stress from the past few days. Even his favorite restaurant, the Tasty Burger at Doyleton, failed to stir his appetite; Sechs couldn't deal with the memories of lost friends connected with that place. Now he could lose even more in the near future if Landel had his way with this virus...!

Forgetting the fruit in his hand, Sechs glowered down at his plate, his hair darkening the worried frown upon his face as his arm hugged tighter into his cramped stomach. "Shit. Even if there is a cure out there and if there's enough for everyone..." Sechs slowly peered up at Aigis through a curtain of messy bangs, his eyes heavily clouded with dread and uncertainty. "What the hell are we going to do if we don't get it in time...?"

[no_dont_go]

"I understand." And she did. Calmly, she took another bite of her fruit, as if to encourage him to continue eating. There was no reason why he should hold back if he really was hungry now. If anything, Aigis saw it as a good sign of recovery. "At least now, you have an appetite."

Aigis lowered her fork, which had been on its way to her mouth once again and she stared at her plate, contemplative. She had a plan for herself, but the insurance wasn't likely to please Sechs.

"I have made arrangements should I turn," she finally said, her voice quiet. She looked back up at Sechs with eyes that were wide but content. "I will continue to strive to do what I can to keep from changing. But if my efforts fail, a friend is waiting to assure that I will not cause further damage to the patient body."

She shook her head sadly. "I am afraid I don't have any advice for you, Sechs-san, except to strive your hardest for the cure as well."

[sixth_attack]

Despite the peaceful eyes looking back at him, Sechs couldn't stop the lingering dread from exploding into an anxiety attack that rocked his entire nervous system. It was like Aigis has thrown a bomb that was exploding in his face in slow-motion. She couldn't mean...

He discarded the fruit and placed his hands down upon the table as he straightened up his trembling shoulders. His sharp eyes widened at Aigis. "Wha... What do you mean?" he said, his voice slowly rising in volume, "You're not saying you got someone to... to kill you if..."

It was then that another abrupt flashback took over: Kibitoshin's empty room... The disturbing mirage of Forte's corpse... Armand's blood-soaked body propped up against a tree... Everyone else disappearing to unknown ends...

"No!"

Against his weakened state, Sechs suddenly jumped up to his feet, pushing his chair away while he remained slouched over the table. "No!" he growled again, pounding his palms down flat and shaking nearby plates and utensils with a loud clatter. "D-don't talk like that! Just don't! Y-you just can't--"

Sechs dropped his head, his shoulders quaking from the surge of emotions that had suddenly flooded up inside his chest. He knew his little outburst would attract the staff, but he didn't care; he could barely keep himself from shouting from the overwhelming adrenaline that invaded his veins. Struggling to keep his breath steady, he glared at Aigis, not with anger but determination. "You can tell your friend to forget your plan!" he wheezed, "We'll find that cure before that even has to happen, you hear me? You're not gonna die on me!"

[no_dont_go]

Aigis hadn't expected such a violent reaction, even from Sechs, but she was beginning to see that his reactions were always going to be explosive, no matter what the cause. She noticed a few heads turn their way from the area where the nurses and orderlies sat gossiping, but they hadn't yet risen to interfere. Good.

Calmly, carefully, Aigis reached out and placed her hands gently over the tops of where Sechs' lay, tense and trembling. She took a slow breath, but kept her eyes steady and clear. "It is merely insurance, in case I become something that is much too threatening to let alone."

She was trying to infuse logic into the equation. This wasn't about suicide. This was about priorities. "Do not think that I have given up yet." She even managed a half-smile. "In fact, the one who has promised to take care of things has also been encouraging me to find a cure before that happens. You have no cause for worry."

She added just a little more pressure to his hands, hoping the added warmth and sensory cues would be enough to pacify him. "I will not lie down and allow Landel the pleasure of knowing I have been broken, and I will not allow him to manipulate me any more than he has already."

[sixth_attack]

Panting and shaking, Sechs was about the snap again when he felt Aigis' hands gently rest upon his own. A soft grunt escaped him as his eyes glanced down at the smaller fingers overlapping his hardened knuckles. Such a sight immediately reminded him of when Kibitoshin calmed him down in a similar fashion during a bad morning weeks ago. ...still can't believe he's really gone now... That alone was enough to intensify the Replica's trembling but hush the roaring going on inside his head.

"But..." he muttered, looking away from their hands and back up to Aigis' serene face. With all his fatigue catching up on him, Sechs' tense shoulders weakly slumped. He just couldn't snarl and growl anymore, just listen to the fellow droid as his frown worsened with growing distress.

Finally, the Replica heavily sat back down with a sigh, all the emotional adrenaline was now mostly depleted from his system. His arm returned to hugging at his middle, while his other hand poked at another fruit slice. "Fine..." he grumbled, his shaking and breathing slowly stabilizing. "Just promise me you'll stick to those words, alright? I've... I've lost enough and I'm sick of it...!"

[no_dont_go]

Seeing Sechs relax, or at least calm down from his trembling and shouting stage, gave Aigis a bit more peace of mind. She couldn't say she felt completely at ease; no one would if they had just upset a friend to that degree, but some mending had been done.

But as she sat back, she actually started thinking. Thinking about her approach to this, and how it had caused such strife for her friend. In a way, that meant that her proposed act of self-sacrifice in order to ensure the safety of others was... still rather selfish, wasn't it? Aigis had circled this dilemma many times since entering the institute, and once when she had been back home. The more times she revisited the subject, the more she began to realize just how selfish 'selfless' acts could be.

"I am sorry," she breathed out with a sigh. Her gaze was fixed again on her meal, but this time she wasn't really looking at it. She blinked slowly, still trying to parse out how she felt on the matter.

"When I was home, I was constantly throwing myself into battle in order to accomplish both my programmed objective as well as to satisfy my own personal goal of protecting the ones I cared for." She took a deep breath. "It is hard to imagine that my destruction would cause anyone outside of my team from back home any anguish. And I... apologize, that I was unable to see how much that could hurt you. Or anyone else."

[sixth_attack]

Sechs took an unenthusiastic bite out of his fruit slice and begrudgingly gulped it down, coughing a little as it slowly crawled down his esophagus. Aigis' apology only seemed to make the slice stick even further inside his chest. "No... I... Shit."

Keeping his eyes down at his plate, Sechs frowned to himself, his brain sluggishly clanked through what she said. What was worse? Remaining alive to transform into a monster and kill others? Or die before the virus can take over but grieve those who knew you? What is the worth of my life...? It was a question that still followed him like a shadow he could never shake off, but as a warrior striving for greatness, it was something he could not live without.

"Look..." Sechs looked up to Aigis with grim yellow eyes. "One thing I've learned about what makes a true warrior, it's to have a cause worth dying for..." He hesitated, struggling to piece together his words. It was a topic Sechs still struggled with, but he knew Aigis had to hear it. Finally, he took in a deep breath and forced himself to continue. "And if protecting people you care about is your cause, then don't feel bad about doing it... Ok?"

Letting out a small sigh, Sechs' eyes fell back down to his plate. "Just give finding that cure a chance first, alright?"

[no_dont_go]

Aigis sat a bit straighter when Sechs addressed her again, focusing on his every word. He understood, of course, that personal goals and priorities were important to up-hold. But that he still wanted her to keep trying...

... That told her just how much of a dear friend he truly was.

Aigis smiled and nodded. "Of course. I won't give up. This I promise you."