Day 62: Sun Room (4th Shift)

[dividedby]

What an unproductive day this was so far. Doing nothing but sitting on a couch, watching the bulletin board and thinking too much about things...if only his injuries weren't keeping him from getting some decent exercise. (If only he hadn't let himself get injured, period, but...)

This shift, Zero was left with nothing to do but sit around, without the promise of a useful conversation like last shift with Nigredo. It wasn't like his other option was any better, though. Showers, already being a waste of time as they were, just sounded very uncomfortable, if not impossible, to do while wearing a sling and a cast. So when his chatty nurse came up to him at shift change and tried to get him to follow her to the showers, the once-Reploid refused to budge. She seemed surprised at his refusal, tossed a few 'why not's and 'we can do this and this to protect your bandages so they won't get wet's at him, but he stubbornly shook his head at everything she said. There was no way he was going in there in this condition. Too much effort for no gain. Why did getting clean matter so much, anyway? It had only been a few days since the last time he'd bathed. It didn't matter.

Thankfully, the nurse took pity on him (only because of his injuries, he was guessing) and gave up trying to persuade him to move. She left him alone with his thoughts, and the once-Reploid carefully reclined on the couch and lay his uninjured arm across his stomach, staring up at the ceiling.

... He supposed some quiet time to think wasn't all bad. He was feeling much better emotionally than he was this morning, mainly because he'd had time to let recent events sink in. Zex and Ema's fates had hurt at first, but by now he'd managed to channel most of that hurt into more resolve to fight. His conversation with Nigredo had helped keep his mind off of things and was enough to leave him wondering for awhile, even though figuring out what to do about Landel was more important than that right now. And, he had a new self-assigned mission for tomorrow via the bulletin board - to assist Ema's sister Lana in any way he could. Not to mention he'd learned about the existence of a town outside of this place....

...Alright. On second thought, the day was not as unproductive as he'd been thinking it was. Didn't mean Zero wanted to spend the rest of this shift just lying here, but at least he could say the times he was doing so earlier in the day weren't a total waste.

[free!]

Comments

[avengingfists]

Ilia wished that Gamzee could at least attempt to speak like a normal person when dealing with such a grave issue. Apparently he only had two modes, though. Kind of dazed, and crazed murderer. Perhaps the former was somewhat better than the latter.

"Lost your chill." She gritted her teeth and did not correct his usage of the word 'sister.' Now was not the time. She nodded and breathed deeply through her nose, trying to keep cool. "I think you lost more than that. You practically lost your humanity."

She leaned forward and gestured with a wave of her arm to his shoulder, the one that he had grasped in pain the night before. "Don't you have at least any memory of that 'penalty' the Head Doctor gave you? And what about those horns! It was like you had been half-transformed into a monster!"

Ilia opened her mouth to continue, but she found that several of the nurses had their eyes on her. Apparently she had gotten a bit loud with her proclamations. Moving further back into her seat, Ilia sighed and rubbed at her eyes. They felt so achy and puffy. "Dammit."

[mirthful]

He blinked when she gestured to his shoulder, then slowly brought his hand up to it. Ow. Tugging his shirt back revealed that the area was mildly bruised. He frowned just a little, as he had no idea how it had gotten to be there. "Huh. Well look at that shit."

However, there was a little more staring in wonder at the way bruises displayed themselves across the human skin than actual worry. It was beautiful, the way the color blossomed like that. He'd though human blood was red - had seen it himself - so why were there purple splotches mixed into the injury? Was that remnants of his troll blood, or were humans just that awesome?

When Ilia went on about his own humanity, he had to pull his eyes away from it. "Monster?" He smiled. "Aw nah, sis. Horns and gray skin and all is how a motherfucker's supposed to be. Said I weren't all a human normally, yeah? I'm a troll."

He knew he'd told several people. Had she not been one of them?

[avengingfists]

He seemed almost memorized by the bruising, and even Ilia had to frown at the dark splotch that covered Gamzee's shoulder. How Landel had put that there was a question that wasn't likely to be answered anytime soon. At least one thing was clear; Gamzee was not lying about forgetting things if he didn't even remember he had been in pain. Or else he was a brilliant actor.

When he started talking about how he really should be, Ilia perked up, partly distracted from the actual topic at hand. She had been under the assumption he was a child just like Rose. That the two children had known each other from whatever strange world they had originated from and their powers were part of that reality. But to hear that he wasn't anything human when he was back home, that partly explained things.

"A troll? As in the fairy-tale creature? Or..." She knew of network trolls. That was a term that had stuck through the years and never quite faded from internet lingo, though lexicalization had given it even broader meaning as time went on. That was natural. What kind of creature was Gamzee trying to say he was?

"Is that the reason for your choice of speech-style then?" Ilia had to ask. Culture greatly could affect why he said or did the things he did. She was practically praying this was the case.

It also made her question what Gamzee's relation to Rose was if she was a normal human and Gamzee was this... troll creature. She had almost assumed them classmates, but a difference like this could mean their dynamic was something else entirely. Whether Ilia could even grasp it was yet to be seen.

[mirthful]

Gamzee shook his head at that, a small smile on his face. He'd already basically forgotten how serious the situation was supposed to be.

"Not all trolls are gonna be speakin' the same way, you dig? The heart guides your voice box to how all ever it lets the merriment spill out." He thumped one fist over his chest, which - ow - reminded him the bruise on his shoulder was still there. "I speak all from the influence of those which I get my regular pray on for. My word hole lays out its beats under the influence of the motherfuckin' Mirthful Messiahs."

That was the assumption, anyway. His friends might claim it was just Gamzee being Gamzee. As far as being a fairy tale, well, he wasn't about to harp on human culture. There were too many differences between them for him to call out the part about trolls being more than just stories. They might just be stories in their world, and that was just how things went.

[avengingfists]

Hearing him talk was giving Ilia a headache. Normally she was deeply interested in getting to know new cultures, but Gamzee's dialect had not translated well through the institute's language filter. She rubbed irritably at her forehead.

"Do you sound just as ridiculous to everyone else in your species?" The words were out her mouth before she could stop them. Well, no use trying to be nice when she couldn't very well call him a friend. But he still deserved some respect, particularly if this was related to some religion as he seemed to be implying.

"Sorry," she hissed slowly through gritted teeth. She took a deep breath again, trying to calm her thoughts before speaking any more. "Look. I'd be happy to hear about trolls and your customs some other time. But the fact is that someone important is dead and you had a hand in it. Though..."

She bit her lip. Already she could feel the rage draining away into despair. Rose was dead. She was really, honest-to-god dead. How could Ilia have let this happen? "Though, getting angry with you won't solve anything. And it wasn't... entirely your fault. Ugh!"

Ilia buried her face in her hands. Why did this have to be so difficult? Martin Landel had forced this child's hand, and then made him forget it had ever happened. She couldn't be angry with him over this. It wasn't fair to Gamzee. She should never have thought Landel would ever play fair.

[mirthful]

"Hahaha yeeahh... I get that all the motherfuckin' time, sis." It didn't seem to bother him either. He'd gotten used to it by this point, and it was just sort of a given that people would nod their heads and go along with him without really understanding everything he said. It wasn't as if he didn't do that often enough to everyone else.

Oh right, but there was that whole Rose being dead thing. That was still bad and depressing. Such emotions didn't really make it into his expression, though. He rubbed at the back of his head, trying to think of a way to appease her, but coming up with nothing. He didn't even have a Faygo on hand to offer her for the sake of just chilling out.

"Shit, I'm all kinds of sorry about this." And he was. At least as sorry as he ever got about anything. "Someone should've let a motherfucker know things were gonna go down like that from the start so he'd know to get his bailin' on, yeah?"

[avengingfists]

He did try to show remorse, at least. Were the drugs he was on really that emotionally impairing? It seemed that way, but who would give a child drugs that strong? Wasn't a hospital smart enough to prescribe something more mild?

"Actually, that.... might have been my fault," Ilia admitted. She knew the blame did partly fall at her own doorstep. She rubbed her arm, ashamed by her previous accusations towards the boy. Or troll. Whatever he was.

"I knew what we were getting into. Not the details, but I knew it would be dangerous. People even warned me it would be dangerous!" She slammed a fist on the armrest spooking a nearby kitten into a run. "I was foolish. I thought it would lead us to the exit, but it just--"

Ilia bit her lip, stopping anything more from escaping. She could feel her emotions wanting to break down again. She had thought her tears were all cried out, but it seemed her eyes were intent on proving her wrong.

[mirthful]

Gamzee tilted his head, watching Ilia get worked up with his usual detached air. He reached out then, calmly, giving the woman a gentle pat on the arm. He might have been genuinely trying to console her, but he gave more of an appearance of trying to settle a whimpering puppy than anything else. He just wasn't suited for deep, emotional moments.

"There there, sister. Weren't all your fault. A motherfucker's gotta be makin' mistakes to get their learn on, right? Ain't nothin' you could've all done better I'm thinkin'." He grins. "Horns up! Honk honk!"

[avengingfists]

The ridiculousness of Gamzee's statement, along with what could be described as a condescending pat on the arm, sent Ilia over. Her need to cry was still there, but instead of sobs she found herself chuckling darkly. There was no peace here, but his phrase 'horns up' gave her an idea on how to pass time once she was taken back to her room. There was definitely some booze she had left stored in the closet. Maybe now was the time to put it to good use.

"Thanks for the encouragement." Ilia swallowed, but couldn't quite muster a smile. "I would say this was a bit more than a mistake on my part. We'll have to see... if all we did was for something worthwhile still. If anything, I feel like we might have just..."

We might have just lost a valuable ally. A good friend. Rose. There was no replacing a companion. No amount of liquor could drown that away, either.