damned_institute | Day 62: Breakfast

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Day 62: Breakfast

A misplaced sense of familiarity met Barnaby the moment he opened his eyes, and the sight of the blank, white ceiling from yesterday morning greeted him. After rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, Barnaby sat up and felt around for his glasses. Had he blacked out again and wasted an entire night? Where was Kotetsu? And what had become of the man who had seemingly vanished before his very eyes at the end of dinner?

Once Barnaby slipped his frames onto his face, the world came into clearer focus, even if he didn’t get any answers out of it. He was in his room, and someone had apparently stripped him out of his street clothes in favor of the hideous hospital pajamas. Barnaby wasn't sure what he found more offensive -- that someone here had once again touched his things without his permission, or that he’d been undressed while unconscious for the second time since his arrival.

The thought made his skin crawl.

Just as he looked over to find a lump in the bed next to him, though, his assigned nurse came to retrieve him. He would have to confirm Klavier Gavin's whereabouts later. For now, he had no choice but to allow the nurse to escort him into the cafeteria. Strangely, she seemed to be under the impression that he and the other patients had slept soundly the whole night. While he might have assumed it was an act, Barnaby got the feeling that she genuinely believed what she was saying.

Regardless of her intentions, he knew she wasn't going to be any help. Instead of trying to ask her anymore questions, Barnaby left a note on the bulletin board concerning his roommate. If his observations from yesterday were any indication, he'd get some responses, at least. While he could have taken the time to leave something for Kotetsu, Barnaby didn't feel inclined to do so, especially when he knew he probably wouldn't check the board anyway.

He had no appetite this morning, but his nurse wouldn't leave him alone until she'd assembled a tray of fresh, fluffy pancakes for him. Honestly, Barnaby didn't see why some people felt the need to butt into his personal choices like this. At least there wasn't anyone forcing him to eat -- for now, at any rate. He sat down at an empty table close to the wall after setting his food down, privately hoping that she wouldn't try to find a "friend" for him to eat with this morning. He was tucked out of the way, so maybe she would forget about him for a few minutes as long as he didn't draw any unnecessary attention to himself.

Hands neatly clasped on the table, Barnaby didn't look at anyone in particular as patients filtered into the cafeteria for their morning meal. There were too many questions buzzing in his mind for him to focus on the names and faces of people he didn't care about. If Kotetsu wanted to find him, he could. It wasn't like Barnaby was going anywhere.

[For Kotetsu.]

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"What question?" he asked, knowing his feigned ignorance would only annoy Hijikata more. Rather than answer, he cut off a piece of pancake only half to less than half covered in syrup and held it out on the end of his fork for Hijikata to eat with a smile on his face. Two distractions - one annoyance at being ignored and the other at being fed again - would mean Hijikata would have to choose which to snap about first and in those few moments that it took for him to decide, Souji could come up with an excuse.

He needed the time, after all, to figure out how to explain that he hadn't met with Taura after all. A simple 'I didn't go' wouldn't suffice and since he had no outward injuries (unlike Hijikata), the 'I ran into a monster' excuse wouldn't cut it. He could, theoretically, use a monster that didn't leave external injuries, but he didn't know any and that lie was too easy to look through. There was the shadow, of course, but he'd rather not use a complete loss of a will to live as an excuse. It was too close to the truth and that was the last thing he wanted to admit.

Putting one elbow on the table, he rested his chin in that hand and continued to hold the fork out with a dopey smile on his face. "This one will taste better. You have to have something on it or it doesn't have much taste."

Normally, Hijikata would have had just enough patience to deal with Souji and his nonsense. Today, however, he was in a truly foul mood. He was tired. He was in pain. He'd spent most of last night being tossed around by a giant, angry plant because he'd decided to go out and investigate the possibility of getting his hands on something that might help the friend who was currently sitting across the table, teasing him about breakfast food and pretending nothing at all was the matter.

He knew that this was just how Souji was. He knew that whatever he was avoiding saying, it was probably out of a desire to protect him. But all he had to do was think back to that terrible night, all too recent, all too painful still, to know that he was tired of these games. There had been too much of this--too much ignoring the real issues because neither of them wanted to upset the balance of things. As if, somehow, if they never spoke of these things, they would somehow cease to affect them.

He grabbed Souji's wrist with his uninjured hand and smacked it down on the table. If that didn't get his attention, he supposed nothing would. "Souji. What happened last night?"

His hand hit the table unexpectedly and he jumped as the fork dropped from it, clattering away. Hijikata's anger was something Okita was more than accustomed to and yet it still surprised him every time. Perhaps surprise wasn't the best word, however. It was more like he was taken aback by the stark reminder that he had done something wrong, had possibly hurt the person most important to him. Eyes wide, Okita looked from his hand on the table to Hijikata's face, trying to take in visual clues so he could better react.

Repent. He lowered his gaze like a guilty animal, knowing he had done wrong. "...I'm sorry," he said automatically. The apology was more than just for his actions, but also because he knew he was about to lie. Hijikata wouldn't know it, of course, but there were some things that Okita simply couldn't bring himself to tell the vice commander, let alone his best friend. "...I failed last night."

His hand went slack under Hijikata's grip. "I missed the meeting time and they went on without me," he admitted, each word coming out slowly and painfully as if this was the only truth he didn't want to admit. "...I wasn't able to find them last night and I wasted the evening looking. I should have been with you. You wouldn't have gotten hurt then." Self-blame was an effective blanket over the uncomfortable truth, one which he could never bring himself to admit. Hijikata had just recently suffered through his loss and now Okita knew it was only a prelude to what was to come. He could at least save Hijikata from that knowledge, and keep him from fighting a battle he could not win.

Hijikata felt bad almost instantly for letting his anger getting the better of him. Yes, Souji was a grown man, and thus responsible for his actions, but in some ways he was still so much like a child, and Hijikata found it difficult to stay angry when he knew Souji wasn't trying to irritate him.

The apology and explanations didn't help ease that guilt in the least. He understood, of course, why a perceived failure pained Souji. The boy thrived on success. Hijikata found it hard to remember the last time Souji had truly failed at anything. If he hadn't been able to meet up with the group last night, it certainly wasn't his fault--that would imply that Souji hadn't taken the mission seriously, and that was simply impossible to believe. Which meant he'd been delayed for some reason. A reason he wasn't sharing.

A reason Hijikata was afraid was written all too clearly all over Souji. The one that gave him that sick feeling in the pit of his stomach all over again.

But what could he do? If he mentioned it, there would be denial. And he was simply too bone-weary to have another argument he would end up losing. This was simply the way things were destined to go, he supposed, regardless of their circumstances.

Instead, he shifted his grip on Souji's wrist to rub one thumb gently across some imagined bruise, though he knew he hadn't really hurt the younger man. Souji was tougher than he looked. He always had been.

"It happens," he said finally. "I had the same problem, remember?" And if he had failed at something, Souji certainly couldn't blame himself. "And if you had come with me, we both would have gotten hurt." Probably not as badly, but he suspected they still would have had a fight on their hands. Of course, had Souji been with him, he never would have gone out to that damnable greenhouse, anyway. "It looks worse than it is, anyway."

That was a bald-faced lie, but he didn't care. He could handle a little physical pain. It was so much easier to bear than the other sort.

Souji doubted it was the very same problem, but he managed a weak smile nevertheless. Hijikata was trying to cheer him up in his own way and so he did his best to seem like he was cheered by the reminder that all people failed - not him though, he wasn't supposed to let people down or they would leave - and instead turned his head toward the lost fork. He wasn't sure where it had gone, but it was likely somewhere under the table with the force exerted. He didn't mind the softness in Hijikata's touch now that his anger had subsided and Okita's smile grew a bit stronger as he turned toward his friend again.

"It looks a lot worse because it probably is. You always push yourself too hard." Always worried about other people before himself, Hijikata had taken on the role of demon because someone had to be. Yes, he was suited to it in a way, but more than anything, it was a shield against how much he cared for his friends and Okita knew that. It was difficult watching him be turned upon for his decisions when at the heart of it all, Hijikata was right - just not that skilled at the subtleties of diplomatically telling someone they would have to do something less than pleasant or face death as a consequence.

Okita smiled and reached across the table with his free hand, picking up Hijikata's fork. He speared a piece of fruit and held it up to his friend, more than willing to go back to a happier conversation topic that wasn't about him. "Did you at least get it looked at? Say aaah~ We only have one fork now."

Souji was smiling again--if not, perhaps, quite at full strength--and that was enough to allay the worst of Hijikata's guilt, at least for the time being.

"I do not." He took on exactly as much as he could handle, as far as he was concerned. And it wasn't as if he'd planned on being assaulted by an over-grown flower last night. It simply had not been one of those things he could have logically anticipated.

Now, of course, he'd be expecting attacks from every shady bit of shrubbery he came across.

And then Souji was back to playing with his breakfast. This was becoming something of a routine with them. An utterly ridiculous one, at that. He scoffed, both at Souji's actions and at that question. "I don't need someone else to look at bruises," he countered, sounding vaguely offended. After all, he hadn't wandered all over in his younger days, selling his family's medicine without learning a thing or two. He didn't need someone working for kidnappers to patch him up.

He reached out to pluck the fork from Souji's hand. He was not going to let himself be fed, again. "That's your fault for playing with food instead of eating it." Never mind that he'd been the one to knock it out of Souji's hand in the first place.

"You do, too. And they could at least help you get something to put on your--" Souji motioned to the angry looking welts all over his skin. "--bruises so they heal faster." The fork was plucked from his fingers and Souji made a face, propping his chin in his hands as he watched Hijikata. It was obvious he was feeling a little better if he was able to grumble and complain about the staff and react normally to Souji's teasing, but he still worried. Okita knew he wasn't looking at the top of his game. He didn't know how long he'd been sick, but if it had gotten bad enough that last night's coughing fit had done what it did, then he also knew that his physical appearance wasn't in top shape. The way Hijikata looked at him sometimes, too, was enough of a clue that he suspected something, if not the truth, but Okita wasn't about to talk about it, and so it remained hidden in silence.

He dropped his gaze to the bruises, eyes tracing the cylindrical shapes - ropes or some sort of tentacle of some sort. He didn't know of any rope monsters here and tentacles were...well, odd. Soon enough, Souji was sighing loudly, trying to keep up the lighter atmosphere as the pair circled closer to their normalcy. "I was just trying to let you taste it. You didn't have to throw my fork on the floor."

Exaggeration, but it suited. Souji stretched his hands up over his head suddenly, leaning back in the chair as he tried to find where the fork had gone even. "Now how am I supposed to eat? Are you going to feed me this time?"

"They'll heal all on their own," he grumbled. "I don't want any help from these people." It was their fault he had the injuries. Letting them patch him up would be an indignity he simply refused to bear. He could still function perfectly well, if somewhat slower than usual. There was no need for any medical intervention.

"I didn't throw anything. You dropped it." Under some duress, true, but still. What sort of swordsman couldn't keep hold of an eating utensil. It wasn't his problem. ...okay, so maybe that line of thought was somewhat needlessly defensive, but Souji's complaining was just as frivolous, so he found it very, very hard to care.

"I am not feeding you." He ate the fruit off the end of his fork for emphasis. "You can figure out some way to feed yourself." Souji wasn't a child, as much as he seemed to enjoy acting like one. He was not going to coddle him when it came to breakfast foods.

Edited 2012-03-06 07:51 (UTC)

"You can be so stubborn sometimes," he chided, knowing it was just all for show. He understood Hijikata's reluctance, even if it was a bit silly. Even Okita was forced to take things here and, despite his initial reluctance, found that it had helped. His fever was down this morning for one and he hadn't coughed this shift yet either for two. Puffing his cheeks out, he dropped his arms as he spotted the poor abandoned fork lying under the table, just out of reach and definitely unclean. He could never bring himself to eat with a utensil that had touched the floor. That was just gross.

"And you made me drop it," Okita corrected, dropping forward again and putting his chin in his hands once more. Hijikata made a show of eating the fruit himself and Souji, in turn, made a show of looking frightfully offended by Hijikata's refusal to feed him with their one functional fork. How could Hijikata deny him breakfast foods? Pancakes only came once a week. This was serious business. He needed his pancakes. And--

...Idea.

"But," he said nonchalantly, lowering his hands to the table. "If you insist." One hand snatched out, two fingers gracefully scooping up where the head of the fork met the handle and in one fluid movement, Souji swept the contested implement out of Hijikata's hand. He continued the movement by flipping it around in his fingers, stabbing a piece of syrup covered pancake and then sticking the food in his mouth as he smiled around it. A few bites and a swallow later and Souji was pleased as pie with himself. "Now I have pancakes and an indirect kiss~"

He would have snapped that he was not stubborn, only practical, but that would just have added fuel to the fire, and frankly, he just didn't have the energy. Fine. He was stubborn. So be it. He was perfectly fine with that, if it meant he could keep what little dignity he had left after being violently accosted by plant life. Which he was certainly never going to admit to. If anyone asked, he was going to say he was tossed around by something twelve feet tall with hideous fangs and claws. Certainly not by a flower while on an herb-gathering expedition. That was just horribly unmanly, really.

"I didn't make you do anything." He was just splitting hairs now, but he didn't really care. He had the fork and--

He didn't have the fork. Well, that was apparently what he got for mentally questioning a genius swordsman's dexterity. Forkless. Forknappd. Devoid of eating utensils. He was about to protest, loudly, but then the words 'indirect kiss' hit his brain, and his body apparently decided he'd be better off sputtering like a stupid, embarrassed teenager.

Oh, he really hated mornings.

There was something satisfying about being able to fluster the normally stoic Hijikata. Sticking the fork back in his mouth, Souji smiled around it, watching Hijikata sputter and possibly turn colors if his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. For someone so determined to be scary and grumpy, he was strangely honest about the weirdest things - this being one of them. Hijikata was a lady's man, there was no question about that. Charming, suave, composed, he had turned the heads of several women both in Hino and in the capitol. They loved him for his looks and his appeal and Souji wondered what they would think of him now as he tried to get the figurative floor back under his feet so his brain worked again.

Pulling the fork out, he quickly cut up the remainder of his pancakes and then handed the thing back to Hijikata. It was with great ceremony that he put it down on the man's tray and with no small amount of joy that he then went to eating his food with his fingers. If he couldn't have a fork, then he was going to make sure Hijikata couldn't either. He was certain after that little display that the vice commander would be far too embarrassed to eat with the fork Souji had just stuck in his mouth; unless his calculations were off and when it came to this, Souji knew Hijikata well.

With a grin that looked decidedly less than innocent, he picked a piece of fruit up between two fingers and brought it to his lips. "Aren't you going to eat, Hijikata-san?"

He sat there a moment longer while Souji had his way with his fork, and then put it back like there was nothing to it.

Clearly, he was being taunted.

Normally, he'd just leave the fork where it was and proclaim that he was full anyway. That was probably what Souji expected. But if Souji was going to do things to purposefully mess with him, he wasn't going to do what he expected. Instead of blustering or scolding or scowling, he just picked up the fork, and speared a chunk of pancake with it.

"Not with my hands."

And then he stuck it in his mouth. Indirect kiss that.

Well. He had apparently lit the fires in Hijikata's competitive spirit and instead of shoving the fork away and refusing to eat, Hijikata took the challenge and ran with it. Very literally. With the fruit hovering centimeters from his lips, Okita watched as his friend and vice commander ate the pancake with a vigor that practically shouted, "Take that." For his part, Okita could do nothing other than watch and marvel at how silly this competition was going to turn out.

However, as he smiled and took a bite of his fruit, he realized there was a problem. If indirect kisses didn't fluster Hijikata into giving up his fork, then what would? Really, the question here should have been why did Souji care so much, but considering that this was him, such a thought did not cross his mind. Instead, he swallowed his food and quickly returned the first retort that came to mind.

"Does it taste like me?"

He nearly choked on his pancakes.

Distantly, a part of his mind realized that Souji probably hadn't considered exactly how that would sound to Hijikata. It was probably meant to be silly and teasing in a very Souji way, and not teasing in the all-together far less wholesome way it actually sounded. Ways he wasn't going to think about. Nope. Not at all.

At some point, he realized he was just sitting there, staring, probably looking like a fool. He stabbed some more pancake, just to have something to do. "How am I supposed to know?" He finally managed to retort. Better late than never, right?

Okita Souji: 2
Hijikata Toshizou: 0.5

He could be nice and say that the surprise of him using the fork was enough to net him at least a half point. It could have been a full point, but the way Hijikata was staring at him after he nearly choked on his food meant that Souji had yet again found some way to bring the great demon strategist's brain to come to a screeching halt. He smiled as Hijikata looked on, dumbfounded, and continued to eat his fruit as if nothing in the world were wrong. It was easy to tease him when it came to things like this, especially since Okita knew that Hijikata, despite all his years and wisdom and experience in the area, still considered Okita to be quite the innocent child in some ways. Innocent in this alone, and to be honest, he really was.

But, that didn't mean he didn't know what he was saying. Yes, the retort had been thoughtless, but given time to process, even he could see where that train of thought went. Hiding embarrassment was something Okita did well, however, and he ate his fruit nonchalantly as Hijikata stabbed at his pancakes, snapping out a defensive reply.

Hm~ Now how to answer? Okita rolled the piece of fruit between his fingers, wondering if he should push this or simply laugh it off and let it be. He remembered suddenly, a conversation a very long time ago held in the chapel upstairs, and the way he had laughed even though he felt no happiness at the assumption presented to him. Yes, it was silly to think that Hijikata could think that way of him. And yet it also hurt. Which was why he tried to make his next comment as lighthearted and noncommittal as possible.

"You could always try and find out," he tossed back, popping the remainder of his fruit in his mouth before turning to his pancakes covered in syrup.

That was...

Well. It was certainly not the sort of reply he'd been expecting. While the original remark could be written off as Souji not thinking his words through, it was hard to ascribe that sort of innocence to what he said now. Nor was it teasing in the way he would have anticipated, given his own flustered outburst.

Hijikata ate the pancake he'd speared to give himself an excuse to say nothing for another moment or two while he tried to work out this strange turn of events. Just what the hell was Souji up to now?

Finally, he set the fork down again and propped his chin up on his good arm, looking Souji over in a way he usually reserved for eying up the women in his vicinity, just to see how Souji reacted. Because he couldn't really...

No. That would be ridiculous. "I doubt you'd actually want me to do that," he replied finally, just as casual as Souji had been a few moments before.

Eating pancakes soaked in syrup with just his fingers was hard. It was even harder when he was trying to do so while trying to look as if he wasn't watching Hijikata for a reaction. He picked a piece up, tried to roll it in his fingers, realized that wasn't working and let it drop, then picked it up again normally and stuck it in his mouth, turning to the side as he licked the syrup off the tips while looking for a napkin. Hijikata himself was simply eating his not-as-sugar-coated pancakes and--

Eying him apparently.

He stopped his search for a napkin and tilted his head curiously to one side, looking right back at Hijikata as if he wasn't being sized up in the same way he'd seen Hijikata do to women in Kyoto. It was strange and a little unnerving, but it was all a game, right? He picked up his napkin and wiped his fingers off, picking up a piece of fruit instead as he finally got an answer to this strange competition they had going.

It was getting far too close for comfort and Okita immediately swung back to his usual teasing and smiles, unwilling to face the not-quite rejection as a not-quite acceptance. Instead, he held the fruit out to Hijikata with a pleasant smile. "I suppose it would be weird to have you try and bite me to find out how I taste," he said, laughing as if he didn't know the dangerous line they were skirting. "I wouldn't mind it, but knowing you, you'd bite. You have such a terrible reputation, Hijikata-san. Here, you should eat fruit, not just pancakes."

Edited 2012-03-07 05:59 (UTC)

Well, that was... interesting. Suddenly they were back to the teasing, which meant something, he was certain, although just what, he wasn't sure yet.

Back to teasing, back to trying to feed him, joking about his temperament like biting him was ever really what was being implied there. Well. He'd back off a little, if only out of respect for their friendship. This was interesting, but he certainly didn't want Souji upset with him at the end of it all. He took the offered fruit as a way of placating him for a movement, though he wasn't going to completely let that jab at his reputation go.

"I don't bite," he replied, and ate the fruit, giving Souji a faintly amused look. "Not unless I'm asked."

Let him handle that.

Edited 2012-03-07 06:29 (UTC)

"Well, I don't think I'd like being bitten, just so you know." Okita laughed easily at Hijikata's joke and went back to eating his breakfast. It was a little awkward to eat the pancakes with his fingers, but it did mean he had the pleasure of sucking the syrup from his fingertips afterwards. Also, eating meant he had to look down to concentrate and that he didn't have to look at Hijikata. It was an easy escape, a natural one, which he was more than happy to use, smiling as if nothing were wrong. Because nothing was, he was certain of it. Their carefully balanced friendship hadn't been tipped one way or the other by his harmless teasing and not quite innocent flirting, and everything was exactly as it was before. It was for him at least. Hijikata was just being competitive and soon enough this would just be another story they laughed over.

Someday. Okita's fingers slowed as he realized just how far away that someday would be. He still hadn't told Hijikata about the decision looming in front of him and after all of this, he wasn't sure he wanted to do it. They would end on a high note this way, a laughing strange one, but one that didn't speak of darker times to come. He picked up a piece of fruit and ate it thoughtfully, realizing that no, today would not be the day. Hijikata would be angry at him when he found out, certainly, but to save this moment of peace, Okita would take any number of tongue-lashings later. To give Hijikata just a few more hours, a day, even a week of peace, Okita would do anything.

With that decided, he smiled again and finished off his fruit, wiping his fingers on the paper napkin. There were still eggs to eat, but those were definitely not going to be done with fingers alone and he doubted Hijikata would so readily give up the fork now. He glanced up at him and set his chin on the back of his hand, watching Hijikata for a long moment. "Do many people ask you to bite them?"

And just like that, it seemed, things slid back towards normalcy. Souji was, perhaps, a little quieter than he might have normally been, but that didn't mean anything.

None of it really meant anything. The morning had gotten a very rough start, and they'd needed this. That seemed reasonable enough. If he read any more into it than that, he'd get himself into trouble, and that was certainly not something he wanted for either of them.

He poked at his breakfast a little more, making a scoffing noise at that question. "Not lately." Or even vaguely recently, if he wanted to be honest. Being the Shinsengumi's feared vice-commander might have been good for keeping discipline, but it had been hell on his social life, and being stuck here certainly wasn't doing anything to improve it.

"That's too bad," he said, teasingly. "I'm sure you're very good at it." Not that he was certain how someone could be good at biting someone. It wasn't exactly a science. Open mouth, find skin, bite down, adjust pressure -- then again, when he thought of biting, it was in a fight and less in that capacity. He supposed biting someone to the point where they didn't bleed and when the occasion wasn't to keep them from stabbing you in the face took a bit of practice, charm and flair.

He looked at Hijikata suddenly, studying him as if estimating his skill in that area and then he laughed. "Actually, if it was you, maybe I wouldn't mind after all."

Sitting back, Okita folded his paper napkin and placed it on the edge of his tray. His appetite had been sated and the way the nurses were moving on the edges of the cafeteria signaled that the meal was almost at its end. It was also an excellent place in the conversation for Okita to take his leave and run before Hijikata asked any questions. Their friendship had a delicate balance and he wasn't about to ruin that because he had missed him so much. Okita pushed himself up out of his seat and reached over to take a leftover piece of fruit from Hijikata's tray. "I'll see you later today, hm?"

All Hijikata could really do was scoff at that. There was no witty remark to be made, and he flat out refused to be put off his guard by any more of Souji's teasing. Especially since he couldn't be sure Souji really knew just how horrible a tease he was really being.

Instead, he shoved all those vaguely unsettling thoughts away, pretending to be more interested in getting a last few bites of breakfast in before the nurses dragged him off for some hellish activity or another.

"Of course."

After all of this, he really needed to find someone worth flirting with, if only to take his mind off of everything for awhile.

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Day 62: Breakfast

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troooolololololo

This is hideous.

you mean ~beautiful~

Beautifully hideous.

w(;A;w) don't look at him like that hijipon

Pffff. He's asking for it. :P

okay yes, but iyaaaaan♥

<3

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Day 62: Breakfast

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troooolololololo

This is hideous.

you mean *~beautiful~*

Beautifully hideous.

w(;A;w) don't look at him like that hijipon

Pffff. He's asking for it. :P

okay yes, but iyaaaaan♥

<3

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you mean ~beautiful~