Day 61: Doctor's Office 8 (Dr. Cox)

[notyoursafetynet]

“Oh... my sincerest apologies! And here I was thinking that I... was the therapist in the room. You know, the one who actually managed to make it through Med School rather than turn to nursing after finally realizing that Beauty School just could not do a thing for me.”

By the time therapy had rolled around, Doctor Cox had already seen fit to make his mark in the best way possible: by pissing off the staff. Or at least one elderly nurse. As he argued against the woman who'd just been brave enough to interrupt fourth and long, the whole hallway was treated to their... or mostly his choice words.

“Then again, with curls like these?" he raised a hand to pull at one of his many curls, "I think we both know which of us was... the drop out; but please, since you seem to know just how these things are supposed to work, do enlighten me. I would just love to hear your insight into analyzing the human psyche as I’m sure yours is frequented by Frankie Avalon and his co-oun-tless serenades over your poor life decisions.”

“Why I never...!”

“Never, no not eh-heeee-ver, I’m sure,” Perry interrupted before he could be forced to hear an angry woman bitch and moan about how life wasn’t fair. He didn’t care, and he really didn’t care right then since the game was on and he was missing it. Worse was when he happened to notice another nurse looking in through his doorway, toting what had to be the first of his patients. This was not his day. “Look Frenchy, I don’t like my job anymore than you apparently like flatirons; but you know, I still tolerate both it and... flatirons, so instead of going all huffypuffy on me, why don’tcha just let the poor nut in and, oh I dunno,” he shrugged his shoulders, “hit up the salon for the next hour and get that perm deflated, cuz here's a little secret: a blind man could tell those were fake from a mile away. Oh, could he ever.”

Now at a loss for words, it was all the nurse could do to force herself to turn and go. She was so flustered that she barely noticed the patient or his accompanying nurse as she stormed past. The other nurse looked first at the leaving nurse, then into the room and finally back down the hallway before she quickly got the patient in and closed the door to follow after her.

A grin spread for his apparent victory as he watched the door close. He then pretended to ignore the patient's very existence as he turned his back to the man and settled into lounging on the couch. Just as he raised the remote to click the screen back to life, he spoke up for the man to hear. "Now, before you ask? I'm not actually a fan of Grease or of the sequel it somehow managed, but my formerly pregnant, former wife was just hormonal enough to find both the original and said sequel to be just the right mix of both a craving... and torture for me, so much so that I've been unable to stop humming Grease Lightning when nearing my car."

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[tasteoftruth]

Therapy. He'd heard about this, another ruse to keep up the grand charade that this was somehow a mental institution. Badd had worn his best scowl in expectation of some optimistic ditz or a patronizing bearded man like they'd given him the last few times the chief made him get a psych eval.

What he hadn't been expecting was an asshole. Badd lurked at the door, duly impressed at the dressing down he'd given the nurse. Normally he wouldn't appreciate someone talking that way to a young woman, but these harpies were in cahoots with the people who had tortured him and his partner. They got no pity.

"They're really not even trying with you, are they?" Badd said, coming up behind the doctor to see what he was watching. Maybe this would actually be entertaining, if he could convince the man to just let them watch football or a car show until time was up.

[notyoursafetynet]

"If by 'try' you actually mean stuffing me in an office and attempting to take away my toys, then yes, I've been a bad, bad therapist," Cox shrugged his shoulders back as he finally got the football game back onto the television, "Might even need a spanking and a time out before nappy bye-- oh come on!" he started only to follow up shouting and raising the remote at the screen.

In the brief moments that the nurse had dared enter and turn off the game - and with her finger no less! Who did that anymore?! - the Steelers had managed to lose possession and let the other team within scoring distance. Now, granted, it might have been the Patriots they were tackling, but it had only been fifteen yards! Nothing the right pass couldn't have covered with the right play.

"See now this is why I hate know-it-all nurses," Cox slouched back in the sofa, scowling, "Not only can they not appreciate the single greatest sport known to mankind, no matter how hard they may try, their inability to cease speaking and/or bothering me during said sport is just... it's mind-boggling!" Cox shook his head, trying to clear just how unbelievable it all was. "Just one sentence from that permed up poodle and we're out a possession and about to lose the lead."

[tasteoftruth]

Badd wasn't a football fanatic, and engaged in the manly practice of communal sports viewing mainly for the beer and male bonding. But he could appreciate a good round of frustration at the fallacies of the fairer sex, especially the uptight nurses who so carefully organized the dulled routine of his days.

"You think it's bad on your end, they get on our cases for not eating enough or getting too loud with some punk who deserves it. It's like they think they're our wives." Badd took a seat on the arm of the sofa, watching the game with mild interest. It felt like a small act of rebellion to be enjoying a sports game in the middle of the padded, sanitized charade of the hospital and Badd would take what he could get.

[notyoursafetynet]

An insane patient he had expected, but a disgruntled one... now that was just too good of a thing to come out of this mess. And while it made Cox a little upset that his carefully planned list of insults for all six of the patients he would have the misfortune of dealing with wouldn't be useful here, the fact stood that he couldn't actually hate someone who shared his opinions on tolerating others.

"Oh I know it's bad on my end. You patients? You only get ordered around - the whole 'go here', 'go there', 'take a dump now' roundabout - whereas we doctors, despite having the higher degree of education and, I'd dare say, common sense, we are ordered at," Cox defended, never once letting his eyes move from the game even when he felt the patient take a place on the sofa's arm, "In many ways they are like that second wife you never wanted, even after divorcing the one you thought you did, only these ones you have to deal with from day to day to day day day because, dammit all, ya work with 'em."

[tasteoftruth]

Sounded a lot like Badd's rationale for why he'd never married in the first place. He remembered the false letter he'd been sent last week, the one from his 'wife', and wondered if the doctor bought into the lie. He didn't seem very interested in perpetuating it.

"I get my partner riding my ass the same way." Wait. That could go very wrong. "My professional partner," he clarified. "A prosecutor. I don't think it's in his job description to try meddling around in my personal life but damned if he doesn't do his best for it."

At this point Badd welcomed the meddling, though only begrudgingly. If he was alive he'd take any amount of annoyance just to keep him around.

[notyoursafetynet]

With the first through third down's gone by quickly, Cox was about to ignore the patient in favor of yelling for the Steelers to hold the bastards back, yet that was all before he heard the terms "partner" and "riding my ass" come up in the same sentence. Not only that, but then the guy made the additional mistake of attempting to defend his word choice.

Now that couldn't go without commentary.

"Nice save there but, for the record," he said, head tilting off as he raised his index finger, "We've all had those 'professional partners' and, consequently, 'professional relationships', and you know when it comes to screwing around with the Lawyers behind closed doors? Well..." Cox grinned, squirming a bit on the sofa, "There's one thing you'll never hear me testifying about, swearing on the lord's good book or not."

Never mind the fact that the patient had identified his partner as a dude; Cox preferred to leave people to their own business unless it meant he could mess with them, and this guy? Yeah, he might take offense to that kind of comment. Especially if he was "of the law". He was definitely more impressive by first glance than Ted would ever be.

"Oh, beautiful sack!" Cox went back to talking at the game, secretly wondering how the man would respond next.

[tasteoftruth]

Well done, Badd. Well done. Now the guy thought--

Wait. Why did he care what this man thought? Dr. Cox was just another part of the establishment keeping them prisoner here, whether he knew it or not. And if he didn't know then Badd was just insane and anything he said would be dismissed out of hand anyway. Besides, the guy seemed to take pleasure in getting a rise out of people and Badd prided himself on being stoic in all but the worst situations. So let's have a little fun with this.

"A good detective doesn't kiss and testify, so you won't get getting much of that out of me, Doctor Cox." Badd smirked, feigning interest in the game and little in the potential slight against his sexuality. Byrne would probably find it hilarious anyway.

[notyoursafetynet]

"Ok, you got it back, now could we actually do something with it this time...?" Cox huffed at the screen, waving his hands up as he willed that the first half would end with a long throw touchdown.

As he awaited play to commence, the patient's return turned out to be just decent enough to earn a glance back. With a shrug, Cox feigned some disappointment, yet was unable to help the grin he wore as he was just a bit proud of the bastard. "And here I thought we might share our diaries like the big girls do," Cox shook his head back to watching the game, "Guess this means we won't be painting our tootsies pink during halftime either. Such a shame."

[tasteoftruth]

Badd grinned right back. Point to the man with the trenchcoat. "Sorry to disappoint. Lawyer-client confidentiality, you know how it is."

He settled back against the couch, one elbow on the cushions. Comfortable but not overly familiar. "Don't suppose you've got any beer in the filing cabinet? I could use a little something for dealing with our kind and gentle staff." With this guy Badd could almost see him keeping a little flask hidden somewhere about his office. He just couldn't see him sharing.

[notyoursafetynet]

Cox raised a finger and whipped it firmly. "Not until the third date, you naughty, naughty boy," he warned before squinting as the quarterback took a bad hit.

When it was over he continued, "If I sent my first patient out smashed, much as it would greatly amuse me to annoy those screeching harpies known as nurses, I'm not about to give them a reason to come in here and take one of the few pleasures I'm allowed, or rather entitled to. See, the only reason I'm here is that my boss - a jackass whom I happened to deck last week in front of most of the staff in internal medicine - thought it would be a fun punishment to ship me off to this hell hole. I'm now over a thousand miles away from my job, from my deranged ex-wife whom I hate to love and lo-ho-ove to hate, and, finally... from my newborn son."

As likely the first serious note Cox had managed in the entire session, Cox left the man to respond as he would.

[tasteoftruth]

Badd knew that feeling. Kay had been torn from him once by the death of her father, and again by Badd's imprisonment. And a third time by her escape but at least that he was thankful for. She didn't need to go through what her father and Uncle Badd had been forced to deal with.

Badd kept himself casual. "Can't help but congratulate you on the decking, but it's a hell of a consequence." Which was all the sympathy he could give without pissing the man off, he felt. "They don't give us a lot around here. Food's decent, but it's impossible to get a good drink and sneaking out at night's almost too dangerous to be worth the effort."

He scrutinized the so-called doctor very carefully after his last statement. There, let's see how he reacted to that. Whether he knew about the unlocked doors and the monsters, or thought this place really was a normal insane asylum.

[notyoursafetynet]

Being congratulated on decking Kelso was nice when it didn't come from a stranger who was, in part, one of the reasons he was stuck there. Yes, he knew it was mostly, if not completely Kelso's fault that he was here, but the fact still stood that there wouldn't be a need for shrinks in the first place if the crazies could just keep it in a can!

"Can't win 'em all," Cox eventually admitted, as he watched the time give out on the half. Crazy or not, Cox wouldn't try to eat a guy who at least seemed to sympathize.

Not yet.

With the half-time cheer starting to take over the screen, Cox lifted the remote to silence the festivities and follow up more appropriately to the guy's continued request for his beer. "Now, as aware as I may be of the ever feared Witching Hour wherein the coffins all open up and the night staff dig themselves up from their bloody graves, I'd dare say it'd be a good deal safer for mental patients to be out and about at such an hour as zombies are looking for their oh-so-delicious braaaaaaaaains on which to munch," he explained with a particularly stylized drawl on the 'brains', "Won't attack something that's been lost, you agree?"