Day 58: Sun Room (Fourth Shift)

[human-sponge.livejournal.com]

Peter's lunch meeting with Tear had gone far better than he could have even expected. It was a good thing that he wasn't the sort of person who judged by age, seeing how the girl had proved herself to be very capable despite the fact that she was only a teenager. Not that Peter would ever admit it out loud, but Tear was a lot more mature than his own niece. He could only assume that Tear's circumstances had forced that onto her, though, which was the downside to the whole thing.

Or maybe it had something to do with her being a healer. She'd probably seen a lot of horrific things in her life already, things that some other people would never experience. Then again, Claire had seen her own body mutilated, so personality might have something to do with it too.

Either way, they had a basic plan. He was going to try and look into safe areas while Tear was going to work on their alliance with Search and Rescue. He wasn't too worried about the latter, but the former might be a pipe dream. Seeing how he had no interest in playing with beads and glitter, Peter chose to remain in the Sun Room.

It didn't take him long to draft up a message with his question, and once he'd posted it up (covering a few other replies in the process, but at the end of the day the board was low on real estate) he went ahead and found himself a seat. This way he could keep a careful eye on the replies that he got.

While he had already agreed to meet with Max tonight, Peter realized that the earliest this paramedic group could get going was the following night anyway. That was something to aim for, at least. Even if it was just him and Tear taking care of things at first, that was a start.

[For Haruno Sakura.]

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[falseblack]

The meaning wasn't so straightforward to prompt such a shift. He hardly believed it was so easy as to force tangible pain to surface. And yet, beyond that, Nigredo could not tell how his words had affected Albedo. There existed parts he could never begin to understand. The same could be spoken as true for himself. It appeared as though they would be at an impasse once again.

Albedo, however, asked for clarification, and Nigredo found himself willing to do so, though far from certain as to how to fulfill the request. Eyelids lowered halfway as he attempted to form coherency. "...You have a lot of things to live for," he repeated, lips thinning into a line. "You have friends who care about you. You have things you need to do." He wavered momentarily and forced himself to stare out into the Sun Room. "You have a...purpose. I think it would be sad to just let that go."

Or to never have it in the first place, but that was a truth not to be shared.

[purgatio]

Whether or not the emotional basis of that explanation was held in Albedo's mind was beside the point. Albedo was an evolving creature, this being shown the most as of late through the simple fact of considering another. Here, that fell, slipped away from shock or surprise, and the fact of sorrow fell short of his understanding. There was something far more prominent that he had locked onto.

Surprisingly, the statement about friends was accepted enough to be moved aside. It was not that the subject was not still shaky--but that Albedo could take care as it was when clear, of his and others', and at least with one other, Albedo would consider them friends. Friends as others had defined to him, friends as ones cared about.

That was accepted. The rest was not. Albedo's voice came deceptively low, though lacking any tint of anger. Only a firm demand of explanation. "Then tell me, brother." His eyes watched the youngest of the set, bland and churning both. "Tell me my purpose. Tell me exactly what I need to do."

[falseblack]

The question of existence settled in Nigredo like stone, a ripple in calm waters. For someone to define another's purpose with none of his own seemed faulty. Seemed more presumptuous than touching on any good. Thus, the statments were accepted in quiet resignation as the boy moved to look at his brother, ruin written in his eyes.

"I can't tell you." The link made it clear: he didn't know. What was it, then, that others could do? How did they act in the face of defining their purpose? "You have to find out what you need to do on your own."

He thinned his lips into a line. {But you can move, can't you? You have that.} The fact of existence. The enviable point.

[purgatio]

You can move, can't you.

His brother couldn't know. Couldn't know that he had spoken that girl's words. Had echoed what Albedo had just mused on, and just contemplated. That he could move. So Nigredo, then. Nigredo thought like that girl. Believed that movement was not something left for him, and envying Albedo for the ability to.

Truthfulness of the matter aside, how could Nigredo think that Albedo could move, could have the choice to exist in a liveable way? Albedo had always defined himself as something dying, despite the irony, and yet here were two that claimed different.

His throat closed. He stared at Nigredo.

Here were two that felt more alone than he.