damned_institute | Day 58: Arts & Crafts (Fourth shift)

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Day 58: Arts & Crafts (Fourth shift)

Firo was glad to see the end of lunch, if only for the fact that in a few more hours, the day would be over. Night was the only time he had any real freedom of movement, and it was the only time he could do something worth doing, instead of just sitting around.

The usual soldier came to fetch him shortly after the announcement, with only a curt, "Come along, Saviano." Firo frowned, but followed him out of the cafeteria into the Sun Room.

He would have been fine with stopping there, but the soldier apparently had other ideas. When Firo stopped, he went so far as to grab hold of his shoulder and roughly steer him into one of the adjoining rooms, ignoring his protests all the while. The new room was full of round tables with various items like colored paper and paint in the middle, and Firo had a sinking feeling about it. What had the activity mentioned in the announcement been? Arts and crafts?

"What am I supposed to do in here?" he spat at the guard.

"Draw a flower. Make a bracelet. I don't care," was the gruff response before the soldier disappeared out the door.

Firo had half a mind to follow him out, but no—he'd wait a few minutes first, just in case he got shoved back into the pointless room. In the meantime, he took a seat at one of the tables, turning his chair towards the door and leaning his head against one arm propped up on the table.

[For Battler]

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"Oh, yeah, of course." Max was happy to call him whatever he liked, but Lance and Zack both sounded like fairly normal names... it was hard to tell which one was the alternate personality and which one was real. Max and ZEX made it pretty clear. Then again, maybe it wasn't any of his business anyway... but it was hard not to feel a little alone if he was the only one who remembered who he really was.

"I... well, I guess." He rubbed his arm, wincing as he accidentally ran over some of his wounds. God, he missed when he didn't have a thousand little cuts all over him. It was even worse than it sounded. "I mean... I guess I should be happy about it, since that means I can go home soon... although, I don't know... it's not perfect there." Max wasn't really sure how to phrase any of this. "I mean, I was unhappy enough there to pretend to be someone else and end up here, so going back there is... I don't know, a little complicated, I guess. But there are some people waiting for me, so there's that at least..."

He probably shouldn't pour his heart out to someone who he really didn't even know that well, but Max just really wanted some support. He always wanted support. "At least ZEX... it's weird, I'm human and I know how to use forks and everything, but I don't feel as confident as ZEX did... even if he didn't know how to use his body, he knew how to take care of himself. I don't know... it sort of feels like taking a step backwards and forwards at the same time." He looked up at Zack's eyes. "Does any of that make sense?"

That had been simple enough, at least. Zack didn't really get why Max had asked for the alternate name when he was happy to call him by either one, but maybe he'd just wanted to make sure that the other patients also had these other identities. Zack wasn't going to dwell too much on it. He'd satisfied Max's curiosity and that was good enough.

As Max started to explain his feelings on the whole thing, Zack began to realize that this was a lot more complex than he'd originally thought. It was as if Max had real feelings and fears to go along with it all, though he realized that that made sense. A fake life wasn't going to be all that convincing unless it was really detailed, right? It seemed like Max wasn't completely ready to go home, and Zack couldn't help but wonder what was so bad about it.

It occurred to him that he was getting invested in something that wasn't real, but he couldn't help but take the conversation seriously when hearing Max's voice and seeing his expressions. "Yeah, it makes a lot of sense," he said with a firm nod. "Maybe ZEX was foreign and out of place here, but you made him up because you wanted to be stronger, right?" It was kind of sad when he thought too hard on it, but Zack just had to keep telling himself that it was all fake. "But hey, just keep your thoughts on those people waiting for you. They're probably missing you a lot by now." He felt kind of bad encouraging that sort of thing when what he really wanted was for ZEX to get back to normal, but Zack couldn't really help himself. When someone was clearly suffering in front of him, he had to react.

At least Zack hadn't laughed at him about how he felt. It was kind of ridiculous... feeling this way about someone he'd just made up in his head. Being aware of it like this, that made it less crazy though. Definitely.

"Yeah... something like that." Max smiled at Zack, a much more natural looking one than usual. He understood! "I don't know, my life was... not what I wanted it to be. He had a... well, I don't know if I'd say better, but... it was his. You know? I don't even know if mine was mine..." That sounded stupid. "Uh, if that makes sense."

He looked down again, now feeling somewhat guilty. "I probably shouldn't be keeping him waiting at home... I shouldn't be here anymore. I don't know how to get out of here though. No one seems to listen to me here. Well, except you of course." Max looked back up at him and smiled again. Friendly, of course. Not that he was implying something. That was ZEX, not him.

A life that wasn't his. Zack didn't know what Max meant specifically, of course, but he could at least understand the concept. He had always tried to make his own way, but in the end he realized that Shin-Ra had owned him to a large extent. Angeal had fought for freedom and paid the price. Zack realized that he had, too. Wings to fly, and yet the only real release was death. It was all far too morbid when he was busy trying to console a made-up person.

"Why wasn't it yours?" he couldn't help asking, if only because it would move the conversation along. "And who's waiting for you?" It wasn't like he could give any advice about how to get the soldiers to listen to the guy, and more than that, he didn't really want to. That might lead to this Max thing being a permanent fixture and to ZEX disappearing from this place, and there was no way that Zack wanted to be responsible for that.

Either way, it seemed like Max already trusted him, which was a nice feeling even if it wasn't necessarily real. In the end, Max was a little easier to speak to than ZEX if only because he wasn't being flirted with the entire time. It was just a teeny bit distracting, though in the end he preferred that to something fake.

"Uh, well..." Max tried to think back. His memory seemed to have suffered somewhat while he'd been here... even when he was ZEX, it had gone a bit spotty. That, and maybe he was trying to avoid having to put it into words so quickly. The whole thing was very complicated. Really. "Just... my parents wanted me to marry someone... I didn't want to, but I didn't... it sort of wasn't my choice, at that point..." Did he look as awkward as he felt saying that? He wasn't very good at self-reflection. "Lot of stuff was that way for me..."

The other question, that one was somewhat easier. "Oh, uh, my... I guess you could say bodyguard. It's sort of weird to think of him that way though..." With a bit of a nervous laugh. Dexter had always referred to himself that way of course, but that didn't mean Max thought of him that way in return. "He used to take care of me back out there... he wants me to get out of here already. I feel kind of bad for keeping him waiting... he's probably pretty angry about how long this is taking, ha ha." If he was here then none of this would even be a problem... surely Dexter would find a way to fix everything. That was what he did.

Although, if he could fix everything, then Max probably wouldn't have ended up here.

Being expected to marry someone he didn't want to? Zack frowned when he heard that, realizing right off the bat that he would have never stood for something like that. His parents hadn't ever questioned his choices, though. They probably hadn't liked the idea of him running off across the world at such a young age, but he hadn't been the sort of person who had given them the chance to put their foot down about the issue.

Not to mention he'd been pretty good about staying in contact with them, which he figured counted for something. Of course, thinking about them now hit him with such a wave of guilt that he knew he couldn't dwell on it for too long. He'd gone and gotten himself killed and he could only hope that Cissnei or someone had gone back to Gongaga to explain things.

It was easier to talk about this so-called bodyguard that Max had. Zack wondered how that translated from ZEX's own life to this made up one, but he couldn't get that kind of information now. He had to be pretty important to have a bodyguard, didn't he? "Look, if he's really your friend on top of all of that, he'll wait as long as he has to for you to make your way out of here, right? Don't worry about it too much." And in the end, he couldn't help but ask: "But why do you need a bodyguard, anyway?"

Guessing from his expression, Zack didn't approve of the story he'd told him. Good, Max didn't much care for it either! Really, no one understood how unfair the whole thing was. Maybe he could have handled it better but really, it was all terribly unfair and not his fault. Mostly.

"I hope he does wait... or does something to get me out of here anyway. This place is getting old." It looked like the nurses were starting to lead people away. That at least would save him from having to explain a little too much about himself. It was a little embarrassing. "Uh... well, my parents thought I needed one really... back when I was a lot younger, actually, you know... just to keep an eye on me, mostly." Not that Max was a kid anymore! He'd just never really gotten the hang of taking care of himself. That wasn't so bad, was it? Still, it was a little awkward to say.

"It was nice talking to you though!" Max didn't want to leave him just yet, but the shifts here were pretty strictly enforced, and the staff would make sure he moved on in one way or another. "Hopefully I'll see you again sometime..."

The idea of anyone being able to break into this place and save them or help them was pretty much ludicrous, but Zack didn't need to tell Max that. He didn't know how long ZEX would be like this or if it would end up being permanent (which was really a horrible thought, that someone could lose themselves like that) but he didn't need to go around crushing the guy's hopes either way.

If his parents had been able to afford a bodyguard purely because they'd been worried about their son then that probably meant that they were pretty well-off. Zack knew it didn't mean much in the grand scheme of things -- it was all one big farce -- but he couldn't help settling on some of the details anyway.

Luckily, he was saved from having to fake his way through much more of this. He didn't have anything against Max (how could he, when the guy was a construction?), but he did hope that this would get cleared up soon. The soldier stood and nodded. "Yeah, same. Make sure to take care of yourself tonight, okay?" With any luck, Max would stay in his room.

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Day 58: Arts & Crafts (Fourth shift)

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want to start wrapping this up?

yeah sure

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