ext_358815 (
damned-doctors.livejournal.com) wrote in
damned_institute2007-05-23 04:25 pm
Day 24; Doctor's Office #3; Dr. Muraki
This time, there was food on the desk. The tea set had been replaced with a slim pair of chopsticks and a bento box and the room itself smelled faintly of cigarette smoke. How he'd managed to distill the scent in the time between shifts was any one's guess.
Muraki sat behind his desk again, head tilted upward. The knife wound was acting up again. He smiled a little. "Tsuzuki-san..."
There was only one doll remaining. Veronica, with large brown eyes and a hairline fracture across her cheek. The rest of his vast collection had been left in Japan. If he decided to retrieve them now it would take a lot of legal smokescreening and he no longer had that easy, tenuous connection that would make things as simple as a phone call. He'd exhausted nearly all of his resources in that final effort and now it began again with nothing.
He could not go back.
So what was he looking for in this place? Dr. Muraki crossed his legs and rested his arms on the table. As always, it was just a matter of waiting, wasn't it?
Muraki sat behind his desk again, head tilted upward. The knife wound was acting up again. He smiled a little. "Tsuzuki-san..."
There was only one doll remaining. Veronica, with large brown eyes and a hairline fracture across her cheek. The rest of his vast collection had been left in Japan. If he decided to retrieve them now it would take a lot of legal smokescreening and he no longer had that easy, tenuous connection that would make things as simple as a phone call. He'd exhausted nearly all of his resources in that final effort and now it began again with nothing.
He could not go back.
So what was he looking for in this place? Dr. Muraki crossed his legs and rested his arms on the table. As always, it was just a matter of waiting, wasn't it?

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The nurse knocked on Muraki's door, then opened it and ushered Ritsuka inside. "Now, Jordan, be sure to talk to the nice doctor, okay? He'll help you with anything you need."
Ritsuka smiled brightly and nodded his head, hoping that would make her go away. It seemed to work because she turned to look at Muraki then and said, "Jordan Becker is here to see you, Doctor."
The door shut with Ritsuka on the other side and he glanced over at his newest therapist. His nose wrinkled at the faint smell of tobacco in the air. It reminded him of Soubi... Turning now to face Muraki, he greeted him by bowing his head slightly, but said nothing.
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"Kazutaka Muraki. I'll be treating you for the duration of your stay here." He smiled with the greeting and made a smooth gesture at the chair across from him. "Please, make yourself comfortable."
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Still, Muraki was a doctor and he had to indulge him at least a little, so the twelve year old made his way to the chair and sat down, legs not quite reaching the floor. He stared at his lap, determined not to give in to his false therapy. Muraki wasn't his real doctor, he was only assigned to him through Landel's. Through his connection to the Institute, Muraki was also guilty of stealing his brother away from him. The thought of Seimei made his stomach turn and he balled his fists up in his lap.
"So are you going to tell me I'm crazy too, then?" he asked quietly, wondering just how much that file told Muraki. Would it reveal everything his past doctors had known or just the psychosis of Jordan Becker?
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"You would prefer Aoyagi-kun?" It was an honest question, no hint of mocking apparent in his voice or posture. He laced his fingers beneath his chin. "The doctors here are only human. If you believe they've made a mistake on your file, I will check the names for you personally. This isn't the sort of thing that should be taken lightly."
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He dropped his gaze again and leaned back in the chair, picking at the garish smiley face on his shirt. Apathy and a general jaded nature toward things were perhaps his greatest weapons when dealing with doctors he didn't know. "What else does it say on my file?"
He was getting therapy for a boy named Jordan, not Ritsuka - another example of not being who everyone else thought he should be. He should at least try to familiarize himself with this created persona.
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As for what was on the file, he'd read it thoroughly enough that he could recite most of the symptoms without reference. "You should have an idea. Your delusions consisted mainly of magical powers and secret organizations." His voice took on a slightly lecturing lit; recitation. Jordan knew all of these things already. "This on its own might not be so concerning in a child your age, but your personality changed completely at the age of 10. You don't have a brother yet you believe he's died... Do you need me to continue?"
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"I have a brother - this place stole him from me! And no, you don't need to continue." He stood abruptly and paced over to the bookshelf, trying to keep himself from crying. Seimei was real! He would never forget his only brother and he would never believe anyone who tried to tell him otherwise. "Seimei is real. He was here and then..."
And then he left without me, Ritsuka thought, his anger deflating suddenly. Seimei had left without him, disappeared in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye.
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Poor, lost little lamb. Like another boy he'd known. Muraki let him have some personal space, just enough to keep from breaking the spell. He spoke behind Jordan, gentle and reassuring. "And then?"
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Was Ritsuka not enough? Had the Institute killed him? Did he just stop existing here? Ritsuka knew Muraki couldn't and wouldn't answer his questions, but it didn't stop him from thinking of them.
Slowly, his fist slipped from the bookshelf and Ritsuka felt the first hints of tears pricking at his eyes. "Don't tell me he wasn't real or that I made him up. He's the only one who ever accepted me and I won't listen to anyone who badmouths him."
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If the person was that cleaver, it was no surprise that he'd left by now. It was disappointing. Muraki wanted to meet him; the model of Jordan's idyllic brother. His family life was so turbulent it was no wonder he'd created someone like that.
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His brother was kind and loving, and he had been scared. He'd been scared of what the doctors would do to him since he still had his ears and tail. Then, they'd taken Seimei away like a ghost in the night. Obviously, his brother had good reason to fear these people. Narrowing his eyes, Ritsuka glared up at Muraki and stood his ground. It was obvious that Seimei was real to him, even if the file said otherwise.
The twelve year old was quickly shutting out the thought of getting help here. Before, he'd been able to talk to his doctors about Seimei's death and about his split personality, but now he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. They might use it against him, try to hurt him, or make him disappear like Seimei. "The file is wrong - it's all a bunch of lies and I hate liars. He looked, sounded and felt just like Seimei - it was him, no matter what you say." He paused for a moment and then looked away, adding quietly to himself. "...I just don't know why he's gone now."
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Now if he could just find the ring this would be a good proposal."I apologize for upsetting you." He offered with his best please-don't-kick-me-Oriya-ernesty. He offered Jordan his hand. "Would you be willing to tell me about him? If he was a patient here, there is a good chance that he can be found again."
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If Seimei had returned to their world, would he be dead again? So many questions were running through his head that it hurt to think of them all - like a dull, persistent ache. Ritsuka stared at his hand as it rested in Muraki's grasp, remembering times long past when other people had held his hand. Soubi was gone, out of his reach now and was not or could not come for him. Seimei... Ritsuka had failed him twice as a brother. Maybe Ritsuka's hands couldn't do anything right.
"Seimei died a year ago," the boy said softly. "He was kind and loving, he didn't care when I stopped being Ritsuka and started being me. He kept me safe when Mom had a bad day... and then someone murdered him. I was going to get revenge for him, but then I was brought here and he was here, too. I didn't understand how, but I was happy to have a second chance with him. This morning, he was gone like he'd never existed, but people know they've seen him. I know I saw him, talked with him, slept in the same bed with him - he promised we'd stay together and he'd help me again, like old times. Seimei doesn't lie, I know he doesn't. So where did he go?"
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He covered the Jordan's hand with his own and held it there. Children were so naive, always looking for affection in the wrong places. He smiled slightly. "That I do not know, but I will contact him if you believe it will help Aoyagi-kun. No, people do not vanish."
Muraki's smile became more playful. "I'll take care of you for the time being, if you will allow me to."
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He had to know. Even if it hurt him in the end, Ritsuka had to know. Lost in these thoughts, he didn't notice the playful edge to Muraki's smile and glanced at him. Even though Seimei had been afraid of the doctors here, Muraki didn't seem like he was a bad person. He had been willing to listen to Ritsuka about his brother, after all. He was used to talking to therapists anyway, and his mother would disapprove if Ritsuka didn't at least try to continue his therapy even in such a horrible place. Despite the environment, something good might come out of it and Ritsuka knew as well as anyone that he was supposed to go to therapy.
"You're my doctor," Ritsuka said simple. "You're supposed to help cure whatever mental illnesses I have, right? You've seen my file, and it sounds right to a certain extent, so you know what you're dealing with, I assume."
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He had to admit, he was pleased with Ritsuka. He'd been only moments away from losing the child and now he seemed ready and responsive. "I will do my best. Would you like to come and sit down now? Files are only so through, and I'd like to get to know you better." Muraki rose and dusted off his pant leg absently. He was getting too old for that sort of thing. He made a vague gesture at the lounge chair. "There's some lunch on my desk if you get hungry."
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His eyes wandered over the room now, and finally settled on the doll. How sad, he thought, for such a beautiful thing to be broken. Then again, dolls were like that - used for awhile and then broken in some manner. With his attention still seemingly on the doll, Ritsuka asked, "What do you want to know?"
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He didn't follow Jordan's gaze just yet.
"You said earlier that your brother was the only one who accepted the real you when your personality changed." He began. "Is this the real you?"
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It was like starting from ground zero again, but Ritsuka supposed he'd have to get used to it. He shook his head, still looking at the doll. "No, the real Ritsuka is gone somewhere. I'm just here until he comes back."
He had no idea how to explain it in exact terms, but he tried his best, thinking back to what he'd heard previous doctors saying about it. "It's called personality replacement - I'm real, I'm a real person, but I'm not the original. I'm just here until the old me reawakens, and then I'll disappear like I never existed. He'll never know I was here, except for the memories I printed out while I was alive." Ritsuka stopped and looked at Muraki, correcting himself. "Photographs. I take photographs as proof of who I am."
For awhile, he fell silent, studying his hands as if they were missing something. So much had happened, and he had no proof of any of it. If he changed tomorrow, the original would have no idea of what was going on and that worried him. "I carried a camera with me everywhere, but they took it from me here. Seimei and I wanted to make memories together since he was here, but... we never got the chance."
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Jordan was lucky that he interested the doctor on a purely intellectual level. There was no grand revenge to be had by turning this boy inside out, so he would take his time, layer by layer, doing as his nature dictated. Muraki was silent, thoughtful.
"Photographs fade." He said finally. "You've been 'Ritsuka' for a long time now. Even if the real Ritsuka returns, there will be people who remember only you. Is it really alright for you to give up your life?"
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Ritsuka was silent for a long time after Muraki spoke, wishing for proof of life. Photographs faded eventually, but at least they would live on longer than he would. "Even if they faded, at least they'd belong to me. Without them, there's no proof at all. And... I don't know. I don't want to disappear, but Mom..."
He stopped, feeling the ghosts of old injuries rising up. It was strange to be almost completely without some sort of bruise or bandage somewhere on his body. It felt unnatural. "She wants Ritsuka back and I can't blame her. She's gone through so much, it wouldn't be fair for me to stay."
Sighing slightly, he leaned back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling. Yuiko would remember him, so would Yayoi for awhile. He rarely saw his old friends from his former school, and they all knew the old him. Soubi... Wasn't his to begin with. "I don't have a choice in whether I give up my life or not - it's not mine to begin with. Yuiko might remember me, and maybe Soubi, but the others will just forget and get used to the other one. It's human nature to forget what's not right in front of you."
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He was curious about this other Ritsuka. Jordan seemed far from possessive of the life he held, like a shoddy imitation just waiting to be replaced. This would not do.
There was a soft knock at the door. The nurse's voice followed it. "Doctor, your next patient will be here soon."
That was just his luck. Muraki gave Jordan a small, apologetic smile.
"I can't make any promises, but I will talk to Dr.Landel about letting you have a camera when we meet again. Take care Aoyagi-kun."
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He entered the room and the nurse closed the door behind him. An office? It seemed typical of modern day decor and behind a large desk a man was sitting quietly. The head doctor had mentioned some kind of therapy, was this it? There was an extra chair in the office and Gin assumed it was for him.
Gin took a seat, glancing over the man. "Afternoon," he said with a smile, making himself comfortable. The other man was interesting, he supposed. The head doctor? It didn't seem likely, but the man had to rank higher than the nurses. If he was lucky, he might even be able to get some information.
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"That's me," he said, his smile never wavering. The voice was definitely not that of the head doctor, which was a relief and a disappointment all at once.
"An' what else c'n ya tell me?" he wondered aloud. "They've not been real forthcomin' with anythin' around here. They tell me I'm crazy, but I've yet t'hear any diagnosis or talk t'any doctors. Seems a lil' strange, no?" He leaned forward in his seat. "Maybe you c'n enlighten me a bit, ne?"
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It was irritating introducing himself like that constantly. Western manners.
He was starting to sound like Oriya.His one visible eye focused on the man across the table, pleasantly amused."If you'd like, I can show you your file. At the very lest it would answer some of your questions."
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At least he was accommodating. It would be nice to know what his part was in this little game. If he could play it well enough, maybe he could gain a bit more trust from these people. "That'd be most appreciated," Gin replied. A therapist, huh? They sure went to great lengths to keep up the farce around here.
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The file was at the top of the drawer. Muraki leaned back enough to pull it out and slide it across the desk. He doubted if he would gain anything from watching the man's expression. He waited.
[[The contents of the file are up to you. It just needs to be a 'normal' version of his history.]]
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Gin handed it back after a few moments, "Ara... sounds complicated, ne?" He ribbed his chin. "So... lemme get this straight. This right here says that I think I'm someone else... right? I don't know much about all those ah... big fancy medical terms, but ara... they can't just send me home with a bit of medication or sommat?"
[[I'm putting it up on the profile on his LJ, but here's a quick copy until I get more details: Landel's File Information: Indicates he suffers from multiple personality disorder (MPD), often caused by childhood abuse. He grew up in an orphanage and was attending college, unsure of his major but with a preference for the arts. He had a part-time job at a bake shop and it was his co-workers and fellow students that finally had him committed as they helf he was a danger to himself and others.]]
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Not for the first time Muraki was glad he'd his career had taken him all over Japan. The name might be western but Piers had a distinctly Kansai accent. Odd, that. But on to the question at hand.
"I'm afraid not." He replied, steepling his fingers. "Your peers believed you were a danger to yourself and others. The behavior you exhibit here has only lent strength to their concerns."
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"Mm," he nodded as though it all made perfect sense. It wasn't as though he'd be real keen on taking any medication from them anyway. He'd seen what it did to Abarai and would rather not experience it himself. "Sounds serious. An' just what is t'be done? How's a poor soul like me t'recover? You dealt with cases like this b'fore doctor?"
Now he remembered who the doctor reminded him of. The way he sat so calmly, that smile he knew was false, all this bravado, but he was quite certain the real Kazutaka Muraki was much different. Even the glasses. He was very like... Aizen Sousuke.
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"Your cooperation will help greatly. Once I determine the cause of your disorder, I'll be able to give you what you need to recover. I'm sure you'd like to be home again." Muraki inclined his head, and brushed a few stray locks of hair behind his ear. "For now, I'd like to get to know you better. What can you tell me about yourself?"
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He was certainly playing his part well. Gin supposed it was possible that the doctor didn't know exactly what was going on here. He intended to find out.
"I'd love t'cooperate," Gin insisted. "Go home again..." Now there was the question. He couldn't really go home. There was only Hueco Mundo waiting when he got back. If he got back. "What's usually th' cause? Symptoms like this poppin' up outta nowhere. Seems a lil' strange, ne?"
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"It may be biological, but symptoms like this commonly stem from childhood trauma." The doctor's tone was carefully neutral to avoid any sloppy implications. If he'd touched on anything, he was sure there would be other ways to find out.
"Are you certain that they came 'out of nowhere'?"
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"Ya don't say," Gin scratched at his temple, pretending, at least, to be thinking deeply on it.
"Are you tryin' to say that somethin' happened when I was a kid? Hmm~ That this kinda thing's been with me since then an' I just didn't realize? Ho, you really must be good."
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"What is it y'wanna hear then, mm? I want to go back to school and work and be a good lil' boy. I miss my friends, who miss me so much they've not visited me since I arrived. Which I s'pose is only fair since I can't seem t'recall any of their names." He sat back in his chair, his eyes never leaving the doctor. This game was beginning to wear thin.
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Muraki sighed and rested his chin gently on his knuckles.
"While we're on the topic of spinning stories... Why don't you just tell me what you do remember?"
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"Mm... you'd think they'd have a record of that kinda thing," Gin mused. "It's a pretty elaborate one aft'all. You'll be sure t'mention me in the credits if it turns into a book or somethin', ne? Seems th' least you could do." He gave a slight shrug of his shoulders. Announcing what he was to his roommate had a lovely effect, but he somehow doubted Muraki would be quite as impressed. Humans didn't believe in that sort of thing, not most of them anyway. Everyone had their own theories about what happened after death.
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Had his smile flickered for a moment? And here he'd thought Piers would be eager to explain his elaborate dreams. He wasn't all that surprised though. The man had been tactfully avoiding his questions for the better part of their hour.
"Is it a secret?" He asked playfully, as if the game had done nothing to tax his waning patience.
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"I remember it all," Gin said finally, "Every little detail." He'd always had an excellent memory. Few things escaped him. There was no way this man could convince him that his life until now was some passing fancy.
"You're a smart man," he started. "Tell me doctor, jus' what do you think happens to a person after they die? Not exactly somethin' you c'n prove, is it? An' if all my delusions are 'bout that, how y'so sure I'm crazy?"
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For what little credit Muraki gave them, they weren't quite this sloppy with their people.
"You'd be surprised at what I can prove Mr. Piers." Muraki pushed his glasses up so they caught the glare and hid his eyes for a moment. His expression never changed. "Unless you're not human, you're still very much alive."
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"Gotta keep up appearances," Gin smiled playfully. He'd let the man think on that whatever he liked.
"I'd be interested in jus' what you c'n prove Doctor. unless that's one of your secrets?"
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"Oh, I get t'ask you questions now?" Gin smiled slowly. He was quiet for a long moment, considering it.
"Do you really b'lieve everything that file says? That I'm here because I'm sick? Apparently they diagnosed me b'fore. But what do you think doctor? How accurate is that lil' chart, mm?"
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"I'm sorry to interrupt Doctor..."
Muraki shifted his gaze to her. "I'd be late for my lunch date otherwise. I trust that you can escort Mr.Piers?"
The nurse nodded. Muraki turned back to Piers. "It looks like we'll have to continue our conversation next week. It's been a pleasure."
[OOC: Trying to tie up the threads since nightshift started. If you wanted some more time, feel free to poke me and I'll edit off the last bit. :3]