damned_institute | Day 56: Intercom, Late Evening

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Day 56: Intercom, Late Evening

Despite the rough start and the heavier snowfall, the buses managed to stay on route and on schedule. With minutes to spare, they arrived at the gates of Landel's Institute, back to the waiting arms of the military. All pretenses seemed to drop at this point, and the soldiers again took on their patented gruff exteriors. Patients were filed out of the buses in an orderly manner, eventually being escorted to their rooms for dinner in much the same. There, as promised by the personnel, well-behaved patients found their purchases among their returned possessions. A few even found new faces, though whether they brought as much joy as bought goods remained unseen.

The woman manning the intercom seemed to have missed the notice about the day's trip as her announcement remained no different from the usual. "Attention all subjects and personnel," she said. "Lights Out will commence within the hour."

A pause.

"I repeat, Lights Out will commence within the hour. All personnel: please report to your stations. The General will begin his address once preparations are underway. Thank you."

The intercom clicked off.

[ All room threads go in response to this post; please post your character's room number as the subject line of the initial post. ANY NEWLY ACCEPTED CHARACTERS MAY POST TO THIS SHIFT (but are not obligated to if you would like to wait for Nightshift or Dayshift); please refer to the new room assignments before posting. Thank you! ]

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Kibitoshin heard Ritsu come in, but he didn't look up until he was addressed a little bit later- his roommate was so nervous sometimes that he didn't want to put them off of their food by making them anxious. Which, for Ritsu, seemed possible with just about any topic of conversation. It certainly wouldn't be good for someone so small and fragile-looking to have to go the whole night without something solid in their stomach, right?

When Ritsu finally spoke up, he wriggled upright and did his best to give the other patient a warm smile. "No, no, it's fine! I'm fine!" he said reflexively- and then he stopped and blinked, because he hadn't meant to say that. What he'd meant to say was that he was confused, conflicted, at a loss and tired of thinking about thinks over and over and over, but obviously that wasn't really going to work. He didn't want to be too dramatic about things, especially not to Ritsu.

He tried again, shifting a little on the bed so that he could try and get comfy, propping the pillow up behind him. "... a-actually, there's something I wanted to ask you about," he ventured, biting his lip earnestly. "A couple of things, really, but most of them can wait." That, and something told him that Ritsu probably wouldn't be able to help him with his anxiety problems. Funny, that. "Anyway, I'd really appreciate a little bit of advice on what to do, if that's okay? Just, like... an outsider's opinion."

Ritsu's eyes widened softly at the request, and he gaped in silence for a moment, amazed that someone as kind and perceptive as Kibitoshin-san was asking any sort of advice of his unremarkable self. Not that he would be so bold as to doubt the other's judgement when it came to who he chose to speak to about these things - he simply wouldn't want to give what would undoubtedly be inadequate council and end up causing some sort of distastrous consequence in the young man's life.

And yet, refusing would have been incredibly impolite, and even more importantly, would make him look as though he were rebuking the gesture of trust being extended to him - him, of all people. Though he didn't deserve the confidence being placed in him through that simple question, he couldn't help but be touched by it - he nodded resolutely, more color powdering his cheeks as he pulled his chair closer to the other bed and leaned in, his attention fully and almost too-intensely on his roommate.

"O-of course Kibitoshin-san! Of course! A-anything!" The pretty young Sohma smiled again, the expression a bit less tense than usual, but sincere enough that any apprehension he might have had only showed through as his usual nervousness. He gulped softly, determined to do the best he could with the meager capabilities he had - and hope that what he would say wouldn't somehow make the entire situation they discussed even worse. "While this lowly Ritsu may not be able to give you very good advice, I would be honored to listen."

He nodded again with honest enthusiasm, tucking his hands primly in his lap and watching the other expectantly.

Goodness. 'This lowly Ritsu'? And Kibitoshin thought his self-esteem needed a little tuition! Maybe he should have picked up one of those self-help books for Ritsu instead; they seemed to need it a lot more than he did. Even so, he couldn't help but wish that his roommate had substituted their name for "man" or "woman"; thinking 'they' all the time was starting to get a little confusing, as though there were lots of different Ritsu clones running around the Institute.

Anyway, the point was that he'd managed to find himself a receptive ear for his problems, and even if they couldn't help him reach some sort of solution he knew at the very least it would help to get it off of his chest. And who knew? Maybe he'd have the guts to ask about gender afterwards. Kibitoshin shifted on the bed again and tried to find a place to start.

"Well, it's like this... I have these two friends, and sometimes they kind of talk down to me or act like I can't do things for myself..." he started uncertainly, well aware of how unfair that must have sounded. He didn't want to make them sound like bad people; he was sure Franziska and Sechs had their reasons for acting the way they did around him. It just didn't help that he wasn't smart enough to catch on to them. "I told them I didn't like it and it made them angry, and now I'm not sure what to do. I don't think Franzi- I mean, one of my friends even wants to talk to me anymore."

He sighed a little- the same was probably true of Sechs, but he wanted to admit that even less. "So- so I was thinking I could apologise, maybe. But I was so sure I was right..." Looking up, Kibitoshin fixed his uncertainty onto Ritsu. "What do you think?"

"Um! Ah-" Ritsu moved to respond as soon as his roommate finished speaking, then stopped himself, stuttering an apology and deciding to think a moment before he let any clumsy advice fall from his lips. He was sure Kibitoshin-san was perfectly capable of doing anything he wanted, and very well, regardless of what others thought or told him - and his first reaction was to tell him so. However, he didn't want to insult the other's friends by claiming that they were completely wrong in what they'd done...and yet, Kibitoshin had been sure enough that he was right to confront the people about their behavior. Ritsu certainly didn't want to imply that there was anything flawed in that judgement at all.

The predicament made the young man's head spin.

"Ah...K-kibitoshin-san, I don't think they should be talking down to you! N-not to say that I can tell others what they should and shouldn't do, this unremarkable Ritsu would never even assume he had the right to do something like that, especially regarding far more useful people than myself! I...its just..." His comment began at a normal pace, though it quickly sped to speaking a mile a minute when he realized he might have implied some offense. He paused again, wondering how to best say this without somehow making it seem as though he were important enough to listen to.

He looked back and forth a few times with worry, chewing his lip as he thought - then those amber eyes grew wider, as an idea struck him, and he cracked another shy smile.

"There...is someone back home, where I come from...that I always dreamed I could be like, someday. He is the most confident person I have ever met..." Ritsu's voice sounded wistful, and he looked away for just a moment, a brilliant image of Ayame-nii-san rising from his memory as he spoke - that made his smile grow. "He never...he never has to apologize for himself, because he's so sure of what he does...n-not to say he won't apologize for something if he's trully wrong, its just..."

"When he knows he's right, other people seem to know that too...the confidence he has in himself gives people confidence in him. I think...I think Kibitoshin-san's situation might be the same." The young Sohma finally looked back at his roommate, the far-away haze in his eyes fading. Though he continued, his expression became unsure again - not so much in his words, but in his right to be saying them. "I think that...if you don't think you were wrong, then you shouldn't apologize. If...if you're sure of yourself in this situation, then...it might help them learn to be sure of you, too..."

Saying it all like that had left his head feeling faintly light, as though he'd managed to somehow empty it all out onto his desk. Kibitoshin hadn't been expecting much in response- not to doubt Ritsu's intelligence, but it really was rather a tricky predicament, and he doubted that even someone like Leon would have been able to navigate it successfully.

It came, therefore, as rather a surprise when Ritsu launched into what to the Kaioshin seemed to be the best advice he'd receieved for the last two weeks.

Things started off a little rocky, dipping back into self-consciousness and uncertainty before, after a pause, Ritsu smiled. Still awkwardly, still self-effacingly, but with a kind of sureness he hadn't seen from his roommate before. This person... they obviously meant a lot to Ritsu, didn't they? It wasn't hard to understand why, if they were like that- someone who made Ritsu feel confident like that, too. He listened hard, nodding along- and by the time his roommate had finished Kibitoshin looked to be deep in thought, looking down at the floor as if to try and shut out all other distractions.

"I think..." he said after a moment, looking up, "I think you're right." He was smiling too now, eyes flickering with something akin to nostalgia. "I know someone like that too. He's brave and strong and good, and- and I don't think he would apologise either."

Of course he wouldn't. Goku- not the Goku he knew here, the older Goku, the Goku he'd turn into one day- didn't like to hurt people, but he had principles, too. He wouldn't have let Franziska boss him around, or Sechs shout at him and talk down to him; he'd have made sure they knew they were wrong, as best he could. In most cases that might have meant fighting, for sure, but he could still apply the basics here.

The smile widened a little. "Thank you, Ritsu. I'm glad I talked to you about this. You've really helped me out." A pause. Things seemed to be going well, so... "Could I possibly ask you something else? I might sound kind of stupid for it, but..."

Ritsu watched as his roommate pondered his words, and grew tenser as each second of silence ticked on. He squirmed with worry, part of him wishing he had never attempted to give any advice...surely Ayame-nii-san's philosophy couldn't be adequately translated by his inferior lips, and he had only managed to confuse the other young man with his fumbled description. He was ready to break the silence with a burst of apology, tears already clouding his gaze, when Kibitoshin finally spoke.

And smiled. And thanked him.

The young Sohma's eyes widened softly with surprise, any pleas for forgiveness dying on his tongue.

He wasn't used to being on the recieving end of any sort of thanks, and when he was, he was convinced it was merely because those speaking to him were too kind to tell him that he had really been no help at all. He would never be so rude as to question those people's sincerity...but this felt different, warmer. Kibitoshin seemed to actually understand his clumsy words, and even related to what they'd described...and he looked genuinely appreciative.

"Th-thank you for letting me listen, Kibitoshin-san! I-I'm glad...I'm glad I could be of assistance!" Ritsu blushed brightly and looked down with a shy smile, practically glowing - though he knew his unremarkable self didn't deserve such a feeling, and knew there was a high possibility that his roommate was simply appearing grateful to spare his feelings, he couldn't help but feel elated at the fact that he may have finally managed to be useful to someone. He couldn't think of another time in his life that he'd managed to do so...here, or back home.

He looked up at the second question, smiling his bright but timid smile and answering with another enthusiastic nod. "O-of course! I'm sure nothing you could ask would be stupid! I only hope that I can give you an adequate answer."

Seeing Ritsu's eyes widen and then, a moment later, his entire face light up- to Kibitoshin's surprise, that seemed to make the entire conversation worthwhile. He'd maybe been looking for some sort of answer to begin with but somehow he'd managed to find something else alongside that, something that was just as satisfying as a solution.

He'd never seen his roommate smile like that, ever. When Ritsu had blushed before, it had been from embarrassment or shame; this time it was unmistakably from pleasure. When it hit the Kaioshin that this was the first time he'd ever seen them look that genuinely happy in all the days that they'd been rooming together, he realised that he couldn't have been gladder that he'd asked that first question.

"It's fine, it's fine!" he answered, laughing a little. "I'm really glad I asked you!" Having said that, though... he only had to look at the way Ritsu was smiling and nodding as though he was about to ask something deep and meaningful and interesting.

Oh, dear. Never mind being worthy of answering; Kibitoshin wasn't sure that he was worthy of asking. It was almost a rude question, wasn't it? L-like it was any of his business! And what if Ritsu got offended that he hadn't been able to tell just from looking, or- worse still- got hopelessly depressed about it? He'd only just managed to make them smile, for goodness' sake!

D-e-e-p breath. Kibitoshin steeled himself and let it rip: "Are you a boy or a girl?"

And then he went a brilliant, screaming scarlet and wished he'd kept his mouth shut.

Ritsu leaned forward, waiting for the words to finally leave Kibitoshin's mouth – while he was sure the previous advice he had managed to give was nothing more than a fluke, he was touched that his roommate already wanted to ask him something else. Perhaps the flicker of shy satisfaction he felt at having been helpful for once was making him overly bold...but he couldn't help but be eager to do more to earn that feeling, since it was one he so rarely experienced.

When the question was finally asked, it was so far different from what he had expected to hear based on their previous discussion that his initial reaction was a blink of confusion.

“Eh? Well, I...”

And then, after a moment or two of processing the words, their meaning finally clicked. The expression on his soft face flickered from unsureness, to realization, to that familiar look of horrified worry and shameful apology, complete with a bright blush and a glimmering of tears.

“AAH! I-I-I'm so so sorry, Kibitoshin-san!” He sputtered sorrowfully between several bows, each lower than the next. “This...this shameful Ritsu never meant to deceive you! I...I just...”

The young Sohma buried his face delicately in his hands, sniffling softly as he wondered how much of an account to give – on the one hand, he wouldn't want to waste his roommate's time with unimportant information regarding his unremarkable self's pathetic excuses for his own embarrassing habits. On the other hand, the other young man certainly deserved a good explanation for the confusion and inconvenience he must have been enduring in all the time they'd known each other.

Further than that...Kibitoshin had trusted him enough to ask his advice on a personal problem, and even listened carefully and validated what he'd heard. If Ritsu seemed to be hiding the reasons for his actions, it would look as though he didn't give the same trust as that which had been extended to him – and he would never be so bold as to imply that he could earn such a gesture without giving it in return, especially to one so kind.

“B-because I...” He finally spoke, wiping at his tears and keeping his gaze down-turned, his voice soft and sadly reminiscent. “Because I don't feel that I possess the useful and confident traits a man should have...b-back home, I often present myself as a woman...th-though it brings shame and problems to my family, and they always have to apologize for me, I...I don't feel comfortable, otherwise...”

“B-but because I can't wear women's clothing, here, I didn't realize I was still doing it! I-I'm very sorry!” He finally looked up, obviously unaware of how near-comical his scrambled story had been.

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Day 56: Intercom, Late Evening

Re: M46

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Sorry for the wait! OTL <3

no problem, bb! <3

I fail epically, but his question was too important to go unanswered! ;A;9