Shinji stared dully at his plate. He wasn't hungry. He didn't think he eat for a while. Maybe then they would let him sleep more. Maybe if he didn't do anything they'd finally understand how very wrong everything was. He still replayed memories of last night - Kaworu rising through the air, glowing. Asuka yelling. Rei's calm demeanor as she matter-of-factly powered up her Eva. He didn't want to remember it. He wished it had never happened. He could've kept pretending that everything was alright. Of course, he had never expected much else. He would always be hurt by those around him, no matter how much they meant to him, no matter how much he meant to them, no matter if they said they loved him or not, there would be pain.

He just wanted to sleep. He wanted the world of Tokyo-3 to be a miserable dream. Maybe then he could leave. Maybe he could go back to a normal family and people that loved him and he would never have to see the hulking form of an Eva Unit ever again. Maybe if he gave up, things would just be better. Shinji was shutting down, slowly but surely. A nurse had had to gently steer him away from the sun room this morning - he'd barely noticed others leaving for the meal. So now he just stared at the full tray that had been forced on him.

None of it mattered. The nurses didn't understand.

_{[Open! One only please.]}