Lelouch was reluctant to let her move away, but since it was clearly a conscious decision on her part, he couldn't justify continuing to cling to her. He relaxed his hold then and looked down at her, his features twisting in concern. That change in tone-- it reminded him of the way she had spoken to him at breakfast, and in the same way he had then, he didn't quite know how to react to it. It wasn't nearly as jarring as it had been then, either because Nunnally wasn't using as stern a tone or because he had grown more accustomed to seeing her with her eyes open, but...
For a moment or two more, he was caught up in wondering what had brought about this second shift in her mood, but then he actually stopped and listened. Changes that made people unhappy, silencing dissenting voices-- hated and feared? That Lelouch couldn't possibly have thought--
He went still, his face slowly draining of all color. Of course. Of course. How could he have been so stupid? No, not stupid; he simply hadn't wanted to acknowledge it, not with the way Nunnally had been so deeply hurt by it all. The world's hatred had needed a new focal point; that much was obvious. Announcing himself as the murderer of Britannia's beloved emperor, stealing the throne, and going on a rampage that spanned the entire globe would more than accomplish the goal of making himself that focus, and Lelouch had no doubt that he had played the role to a tee. True, Nunnally hadn't said it in as many words, but he knew both her and himself well enough to fill in the rest of the blanks on his own. Silencing dissenting voices-- an absolute tyrant, in other words, and one that was unafraid of letting people know it. It would have been easy to despise Lelouch vi Britannia, and the only way to break the cycle of hatred would have been, as always, for someone else to finally win.
He forced himself to look away from her again, now thoroughly appreciating the distance between them for what it was. The things he must have done-- and dragging Suzaku into it as well, even if his knight had pledged himself to the cause. It made a horrifying sort of sense that only seemed to worsen the more he thought about it, but Nunnally-- what could she have thought of it? How terrible could his actions have been to make her want to stop him? To join with Schneizel and Cornelia-- it must have been a convincing act indeed for his sister, the person who had known and loved him the longest, to have fallen for it.
That must be why she wanted him to change it, he realized, closing his eyes. All of those lives, all that sacrifice-- the means had been drastic enough that it was easy to want them replaced by something different, something... gentler. And yet, to destroy the world and recreate it-- there was no denying that such a plan would have worked. Lelouch could just as easily see why the Lelouch Nunnally had known would have wanted to go through with it, especially when he had nothing else to lose. Assuming he hadn't had the benefit of the memories from Landel's, he would have lost the Black Knights, his life at Ashford, his parents, and Nunnally herself. What path would have been left to him that could fulfill his promise? But that wasn't what Nunnally wanted. Not from her brother, and certainly not if it meant his death.
At that last thought, Lelouch's eyes snapped open, and he swung his head around to face her. The one to kill him, had it been-- no, he was getting ahead of himself. Nunnally still hadn't finished her story, and although it pained him more than ever to force her to relive it through her retelling, he had to know the rest.
Re: F23
For a moment or two more, he was caught up in wondering what had brought about this second shift in her mood, but then he actually stopped and listened. Changes that made people unhappy, silencing dissenting voices-- hated and feared? That Lelouch couldn't possibly have thought--
He went still, his face slowly draining of all color. Of course. Of course. How could he have been so stupid? No, not stupid; he simply hadn't wanted to acknowledge it, not with the way Nunnally had been so deeply hurt by it all. The world's hatred had needed a new focal point; that much was obvious. Announcing himself as the murderer of Britannia's beloved emperor, stealing the throne, and going on a rampage that spanned the entire globe would more than accomplish the goal of making himself that focus, and Lelouch had no doubt that he had played the role to a tee. True, Nunnally hadn't said it in as many words, but he knew both her and himself well enough to fill in the rest of the blanks on his own. Silencing dissenting voices-- an absolute tyrant, in other words, and one that was unafraid of letting people know it. It would have been easy to despise Lelouch vi Britannia, and the only way to break the cycle of hatred would have been, as always, for someone else to finally win.
He forced himself to look away from her again, now thoroughly appreciating the distance between them for what it was. The things he must have done-- and dragging Suzaku into it as well, even if his knight had pledged himself to the cause. It made a horrifying sort of sense that only seemed to worsen the more he thought about it, but Nunnally-- what could she have thought of it? How terrible could his actions have been to make her want to stop him? To join with Schneizel and Cornelia-- it must have been a convincing act indeed for his sister, the person who had known and loved him the longest, to have fallen for it.
That must be why she wanted him to change it, he realized, closing his eyes. All of those lives, all that sacrifice-- the means had been drastic enough that it was easy to want them replaced by something different, something... gentler. And yet, to destroy the world and recreate it-- there was no denying that such a plan would have worked. Lelouch could just as easily see why the Lelouch Nunnally had known would have wanted to go through with it, especially when he had nothing else to lose. Assuming he hadn't had the benefit of the memories from Landel's, he would have lost the Black Knights, his life at Ashford, his parents, and Nunnally herself. What path would have been left to him that could fulfill his promise? But that wasn't what Nunnally wanted. Not from her brother, and certainly not if it meant his death.
At that last thought, Lelouch's eyes snapped open, and he swung his head around to face her. The one to kill him, had it been-- no, he was getting ahead of himself. Nunnally still hadn't finished her story, and although it pained him more than ever to force her to relive it through her retelling, he had to know the rest.