damned_institute | Day 43: Chapel

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Day 43: Chapel

And just like that, the disorienting feeling of blacking out just to wake up in an unfamiliar bed came again. Alkaid had wondered if it would - everything about last night had been different, all the way from the zombies to the eerie emptiness of the Institute to the strange broadcast at the end of the night. Had the Head Doctor been shot? Damn, someone had gotten to it before her. And who was the voice at the end there? It was like she'd been allowed access to some kind of strange mystery that she could not understand, one that had been going on for a long time before she had arrived and would be going on for quite a while in the future, after she was gone. Had these strange sets of circumstances been bugs in this place's programming? Who could say?

The morning's intercom greeting was strange, as well. Federal training whatsit? It didn't seem like this happened very often, from the sound of it, but so much had happened since the last day she remembered that the former Demon Palace Emperor was ready to take pretty much anything at face value.

The room she woke up in was still empty. Wondering where to stick the half-cracked bat that she'd picked up last night, she shoved it under the mattress hastily when she heard footsteps in the hall.

The stupid nurse was the same as ever, though. Some things never changed. "Ahh, good morning, Eileen. It's so nice to see you awake."

Alkaid rolled her eyes at the nurse's chuckle, and shook her head. She didn't care that the NPC thought it was nice, she just wanted to see the rest of the institute already.. see what had changed! "Yeah, it's fantastic. Whatever! Just take me where I'm going and be done with it!"

It was just then that she realized that she was not wanting to devour the flesh of the nurse in front of her. And that the pain on her arm had kind of abated - she couldn't see through the thick bandages they had covered her arm with, but she wondered if her skin was still rotting off like a zombie. Had they somehow cured her infection overnight? Or was the nurse not human, like Alkaid had always thought?

There was only one thing for it: she had to go somewhere else.

"Chapel, sun room, or cafeteria, then?"

"Does it look like I care?"

The nurse sighed, then started walking Alkaid down the hall, up the stairs, and down another hall to the chapel. No one here yet, huh? That was weird. She couldn't imagine that no one else'd show up, but who could say? This place had been turned on its ass.

The chapel was empty so far, and kind of nondescript. She shooed the nurse away, and stood in the middle of the space between the pews, standing akimbo. What would happen today? What would she learn about herself... her situation? How long had she been sleeping? Was she really still going freaking undead, or had that been somehow taken care of?

All this would come to light really soon. She hoped. Geez, too many mysteries!!

[unwittingly awaiting Haseo]

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"They'd leave you locked up in here to die?" Nataku's brow furrowed slightly in disapproval though there wasn't a hint of disbelief in his voice. If he hadn't been useful, he would have been locked up in a dark cell and forgotten like Homura, or just never born at all, so what did he have to be surprised about?

If humans were anything like the gods, they needed no reason for that kind of action beyond their own fear and guilt.

"Did you disobey them," He asked quietly. "Or are they just jerks?"

"They think I deserve to be locked up." Bruce might carry on about never being able to kill but he'd been happy to leave him to die before and the whole damn lot of them would rather he was still dead even if they didn't have the balls to do it themselves. So given the chance he didn't doubt they'd all leave him here.

"It's complicated. I guess you could say they're a little like your 'gods'. I killed people so I deserve to be punished. I failed and so they don't want anything more to do with me." He couldn't keep the bitterness from creeping into his voice as he spoke, fists clenching in anger as he glared at the wall. Shaking himself out of his thoughts before he has to start hitting something, he shot Nataku a grim smile. "Guess you could say both."

Edited 2009-08-19 08:48 (UTC)

"They're a lot like the gods then." His anger was quietly controlled, balanced by empathy for Jason and years of keeping his temper on a tight leash. There were more important things to think about right now anyway.

He leaned forward precariously and reached for Jason, trying to close his fingers lightly against his arm or the material of his shirt. He didn't know if the touch would be welcome, but he tried anyway, meeting Jason's eyes. "If I'd disobeyed him sooner, my father would have turned away from me and done the exact same thing. I know what it's like." But what he was really trying to say was just You're not alone.

Jason wanted to slap away the hand on his arm, the anger too strong for anything that didn't hurt. But he understood what Nataku was saying and it's not unwelcome, someone who doesn't think there's something wrong with him because he wants to make sure no more kids die alone and in pain.

Swallowing down the rage, he reined himself in enough to shoot Nataku a grateful smile. "Family right? Who needs them?"

He's tempted to explain - it's not exactly the same. Nataku's father sounds like a grade-A asshole while Bruce might be a lot of things but he wasn't all bad. He'd given Jason a better life than he ever would've had otherwise and living with him, being Robin, had been the best thing that ever happened to him.

"What made you decide to stop listening to him?"

Some people were more receptive than others, and he didn't begrudge them that, but in Jason's case the touch just seemed to sharpen his temper - or maybe, like Nataku, it was the gentle touches that hurt him the most.

He only shook his head. He hated his father, just like Jason seemed to hate his family but hate wasn't nearly as strong or dangerous as love. And he loved his father too. He would still obey the man's word should he choose to make an appearance here. There was only one person who had ever made him waver.

"Goku," Nataku replied. "He was my best friend. He wasn't a War Prince but there was a chance he could take my place - and with it any influence my father had over the other gods. I was ordered to kill him. I almost did, too. I had a sword balanced at his throat and all he did was smile and tell me his name." Nataku smiled a little, though tears stung his eyes. He blinked them away. "The only thing I really decided was that I wouldn't kill him, not even for my father."

"He sounds like a good friend. You're lucky." Jason crouched down in front of Nataku so he could look him in the eye. He kept some distance between them - as much for his own benefit as for the kid's - but he wanted it to be clear he wasn't going anywhere.

"What happened after that? I don't believe your old man would be OK with you disobeying him." It was entirely too easy to come up with ways the situation could have played out and none of them were things he liked to think about. Nataku was fine now but he didn't know how long ago this had taken place and it was possible - easier sometimes - to do plenty of damage without laying a finger on someone.

"Yeah," He agreed. "Maybe you can meet him sometime."

Not that he wanted Goku to end up here for any reason, but Jason seemed like he needed more friends who weren't jerks. Even if it wasn't Goku, he'd have to introduce the man to Homura. They'd both tried to change their homes for the better in their own ways; he was sure friendships had been built on less than that.

Jason's question brought him back to the present, though having the man crouched in front of him brought a fleeting sense of discomfort. "I don't know what happened after," He replied, honestly. "I turned my sword on myself, and then I woke up here."

Jason's eyes narrowed at Nataku's reply. Christ, the kid had what? Hospitalised himself? Because he couldn't disobey his old man. If he ever met the asshole they'd be having a niiice long chat. For as many days as he could make it last.

"Jesus, kid. That's messed up." Fucking understatement. His hand had unconsciously wandered up to rub at the scar from Bruce as he thought how completely unsurprising the whole story was. Family. Always the fucking same, no matter who or where you were.

Focussing back on Nataku, he asked "And if your old man showed up here? What then?" If the kid had stabbed himself rather than disobey it didn't suggest anything good would happen in the fucker was brought to this place, no matter how much he might deserve it.

There was no arguing to the contrary. It was messed up in plenty of ways. Instead Nataku's gaze flicking downward to follow the movement of Jason's hand. He'd never been overly conscious of scars, and his eyes had skipped over even such a prominent one, but now that he looked at it he had to wonder if it held more significance than a fight gone awry.

Thoughts of his father dragged him back, anxiety mingled with fear because he knew it was possible for Li Touten to show up here. And he knew how he would react without thinking of it.

"I obey him," Nataku replied solemnly, the bitterness returning. "I would be lying if I said I could do anything else. He's my father."

Edited 2009-08-25 16:32 (UTC)

"Doesn't mean you've got to do what he says. You don't need him and he can't hold anything over you here." He didn't expect it to be that easy, that Nataku would change his mind just because of a few words but he couldn't keep quiet. It had to be said and maybe something would get through. Nataku sounded like he hated his father and how the bastard treated him and he had disobeyed him before. It just would require persistence to make him see he didn't need the man. Even if he never showed up here, it would be better for the kid to accept that he didn't have to obey someone because they were family.

"It's irrelevant." Nataku replied harshly, though his anger was clearly turned inward. It was impossible to explain the ties that bound him to his father. The twisted illusions of love they each possessed seemed to defy every reason Nataku could conceive to disrespect or disobey - and there were plenty. Obedience was carved right down into his bones. He wouldn't lie to Jason or himself about that.

"Isn't it the same with your family? If they hadn't turned away..." He looked at Jason, desperate for understanding. It didn't seem right not to try to explain.

Edited 2009-08-27 17:51 (UTC)

Jason shook his head, opening his mouth to argue. As everyone seemed to like pointing out, he hadn't always listened to Bruce or done what he was told to. That was what had gotten him killed in the end. But little things, like 'wait here' or 'don't just charge in' were one thing. He had had a good idea of how far he could push before Bruce would decide to throw him back out. But if something really mattered, if disobeying would have gotten him dumped back in Crime Alley? He would have done anything for Bruce, fucking anything to be allowed to stay. Pretending otherwise would be a lie.

He abruptly stood up, pacing restlessly again. "It's not- I could have left-" If he wanted to? But that wasn't right. He'd been Bruce Wayne's adopted son and who wouldn't try and return a kid to the richest man in the city? Maybe he could've left Gotham if he wanted to escape Bruce but he wouldn't have had any way to get a job so he'd be back to fending for himself like before. And Batman wouldn't tolerate an ex-Robin stealing.

He hadn't wanted to leave anyway - he'd believed in Batman and what they did. Most if the time. When he didn't though, he still did things Bruce's way no matter how he felt. Jason sighed in frustration, trying to find the right words. "My- The guy who adopted me. He wasn't bad. I used.... used to think he was the best person in the world, even if he didn't care much about me. But."

But what? If Bruce had killed the Joker.... or if he'd just let Jason himself do it... If he'd come and found him that night in the cemetery or after that.... Would he have gone back?

yesyesgodyesplease

Bruce didn't want him, hadn't ever wanted him, he knew that. But. "I don't... It's a lot easier. Not getting to make the choice." It wasn't a good answer, was barely even a answer but it was the best he had.

Nataku didn't interrupt him. Maybe their situations weren't exactly the same, but it was close enough for him. His father could never be called a good person, so when he did what he did there was only a dreaded sense of inevitability for Nataku. It must have been cold and nasty for Jason to learn, at the least, the respect and affection he obviously held for his own father had not been mutual - or deserved, as far as Nataku was concerned.

"No, it's not." He replied, shaking his head. "That's never easier." After all, he would know about not being able to make choices.

He looked at Jason, plain and open, and added simply, "I don't know how much you like me, but I care about you."

Edited 2009-08-29 04:58 (UTC)

Jason doesn't argue with Nataku. He's not sure he can and it doesn't feel right when the kid has admitted he never had a choice himself. But he can't keep quiet when Nataku looks at him like that, talking like Jason is important when they only just met yesterday.

"Fuck kid." He raked a hand through his hair, fists clenching in frustration. "Don't get me wrong, I like you too." He turned to face Nataku letting himself loom over the kid, gaze hard and unyielding as he tried to make his point.

"But you barely know me. I'm not a good person and I'm not the sort of guy you want to get mixed up with." The words are flat, a simple statement of fact. He wasn't trying to be selfless or anything like that, not pulling some overly dramatic 'it's too dangerous for you too be around me!' crap. It's just a fact. Jason - Red Hood or whoever he is now - is dangerous and makes dangerous enemies and allies. Anyone associating with him is potentially at risk and he doesn't want some kid who's given him more in this conversation than Bruce has since he came back, getting mixed up in that.

It didn't matter very much to him how long he'd known Jason. Homura had offered him a place in the History Club after their first meeting. Kenren had never spoken to him once when he decided he was willing to take a beating for Nataku's sake. He and Goku never saw eachother often, or for very long, but they had still become best friends in their time together. The title Toushin Taishi was as much a punishment as it was a death sentence; time meant very little to an immortal being who was slated to kill or die young.

As for not being a good person? Nataku was hardly that either. Kenren and Jason might be inclined to excuse him for their own reasons, but he owned his transgressions. Only the gods refused to accept responsibility for their actions, and if there was one thing Nataku would never abide, it was growing up to become like them.

He stared back up at Jason. The man was intimidating and dangerous, the anger that boiled just beneath his surface not so finely controlled. He understood that well. He wasn't naive.

But Jason needed to understand the thing staring back up at him was the Toushin Taishi of the heavens; part-god, part-demon, a killer born. It wasn't just something that had been inflicted on him: it was who, and what, he was. It was in his blood.

Well, that and being an implacable brat. It looked like there would be no helping it.

He took a few steps closer to Jason... and slammed his fist towards the man's stomach at twice the speed any human should possess. He didn't pull his punches. Kenren had not needed clarification after that, but for Jason he added, "I can make that choice for myself."

Out of all the responses Jason might have expected, what he got hadn't even been on the list.

He didn't even see the punch coming, breath whooshing out in a pained grunt as he doubled over. What the fuck-

Oh. That was one way to make a point.

As soon as he could breathe again Jason was cackling between gasps. Holding his aching gut - that was going to leave one hell of a bruise - he grinned at Nataku. "Fucking metas!"

Finally straightening up he aimed a playful cuff at Nataku's head, fully expecting to have to try and avoid another hit in return. "OK, you made your point. I'll can the crap. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Nataku's eyes widened. He had to remember that Jason was totally crazy.

But at the same time he returned the grin and raised an arm automatically to block the cuff. Just because he deserved it didn't mean he was going to take it. Other than that, his point seemed to be made, so no further violence was required as far as he was concerned. The last thing he wanted was to bring the nurses down on them too.

"Why else would I return the favor?" Nataku replied, grinning shamelessly.

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Day 43: Chapel

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