damned_institute | Day 43: Chapel

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Day 43: Chapel

And just like that, the disorienting feeling of blacking out just to wake up in an unfamiliar bed came again. Alkaid had wondered if it would - everything about last night had been different, all the way from the zombies to the eerie emptiness of the Institute to the strange broadcast at the end of the night. Had the Head Doctor been shot? Damn, someone had gotten to it before her. And who was the voice at the end there? It was like she'd been allowed access to some kind of strange mystery that she could not understand, one that had been going on for a long time before she had arrived and would be going on for quite a while in the future, after she was gone. Had these strange sets of circumstances been bugs in this place's programming? Who could say?

The morning's intercom greeting was strange, as well. Federal training whatsit? It didn't seem like this happened very often, from the sound of it, but so much had happened since the last day she remembered that the former Demon Palace Emperor was ready to take pretty much anything at face value.

The room she woke up in was still empty. Wondering where to stick the half-cracked bat that she'd picked up last night, she shoved it under the mattress hastily when she heard footsteps in the hall.

The stupid nurse was the same as ever, though. Some things never changed. "Ahh, good morning, Eileen. It's so nice to see you awake."

Alkaid rolled her eyes at the nurse's chuckle, and shook her head. She didn't care that the NPC thought it was nice, she just wanted to see the rest of the institute already.. see what had changed! "Yeah, it's fantastic. Whatever! Just take me where I'm going and be done with it!"

It was just then that she realized that she was not wanting to devour the flesh of the nurse in front of her. And that the pain on her arm had kind of abated - she couldn't see through the thick bandages they had covered her arm with, but she wondered if her skin was still rotting off like a zombie. Had they somehow cured her infection overnight? Or was the nurse not human, like Alkaid had always thought?

There was only one thing for it: she had to go somewhere else.

"Chapel, sun room, or cafeteria, then?"

"Does it look like I care?"

The nurse sighed, then started walking Alkaid down the hall, up the stairs, and down another hall to the chapel. No one here yet, huh? That was weird. She couldn't imagine that no one else'd show up, but who could say? This place had been turned on its ass.

The chapel was empty so far, and kind of nondescript. She shooed the nurse away, and stood in the middle of the space between the pews, standing akimbo. What would happen today? What would she learn about herself... her situation? How long had she been sleeping? Was she really still going freaking undead, or had that been somehow taken care of?

All this would come to light really soon. She hoped. Geez, too many mysteries!!

[unwittingly awaiting Haseo]

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Scowling intensely, Jason wheeled around and strode up to Nataku, staring at him intently as he declared "That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard."

Just the thought of some bastards spouting those kinds of lies, about being unable to kill or eat meat because they'd be 'corrupted' while sending some kid out to do what they didn't have the balls to do themselves had his fingers itching for a gun, or better yet, his dagger so he could teach them a lesson. And that wasn't even touching on what he'd do to some dickless asshole who'd tell his own son that he only existed to be used, that he was 'allowed' to exist. Even Sheila Haywood hadn't tried to act like what she was doing was right.

"You better not be telling me you buy into that load of crap. Sending someone else out because you're too scared to get your hands dirty is worse than killing or fucking eating meat. All the bastards who'd send you out to kill for them are already plenty corrupted, no matter what they say."

Nataku stared, too taken aback to worry about the intensity of Will's gauze. He didn't know the man well enough to interpret the fury on his face one way or another, but it turned out his initial assumption was right. Will was much like Kenren, at least in this respect, and that was plenty enough for him.

He shook his head slowly. "I know it's not right," He replied firmly. "And I know it's not fair. It's just the way heaven works."

He broke eye contact abruptly, his gaze skipping over Homura in a different corner of the room, engaged in conversation with a woman Nataku didn't recognise. It was oddly appropriate to find him here, in a strange temple, while they spoke about heaven.

He turned back to the man in front of him. "You're a warrior, Will. What do you do back home?"

Fuck he hated that excuse. 'It's just the way things are' was a cheap way to justify letting people keep doing whatever they wanted because it was too hard to make them change. It fell in the same category as 'if I cross that line there's no going back' and all the rest of that bullshit used to excuse cowardice. Not that he blamed the kid for that. Nataku was too young to be worrying about changing the kind of shit that went down deep in almost every place Jason had been.

He was jerked out of his seething thoughts by Nataku's next words. "A- I wouldn't say that," he replied stuck between confusion and amusement. A warrior? It sounded so old-fashioned but then the kid said he was some sort of War Prince so it fit with whatever this heaven place must be like.

Shaking his head he paced back a few steps, needing to move again. "I'm a vigilante. I keep my city safe from criminals and other bastards like that." He wasn't ready to drop the subject of what Nataku did back home but he'd let the kid change the topic for now. They didn't know each other that well and he didn't want to push too hard in case he drove him away.

"Is that why you could do that cool flip thing in the tree? I thought you might be a performer at first, but last night you fought pretty well too." While Will went back to pacing he took the opportunity to lever himself up onto the window sill and lean forward, gripping the edge lightly for balance. His feet swung back and forth beneath him in easy rhythm.

"You keep the whole city safe by yourself? You must really love it to work that hard. What's it like?"

"What you mean this sort of thing?" Grinning, Jason flips himself backwards to land on one hand, balancing like that for a moment before springing back to his feet. The movement wakes up a chorus of minor aches from the past few nights but it's a familiar feeling and one he missed.

"Not exactly - there's others around who do the same thing but I work alone." Funny how that sentence is true and yet so completely wrong in so many ways. It's easier to talk about his city instead. There's no need to hide anything there.

"Gotham's like nowhere else in the world. Fucking beautiful, messed up city. If you don't know your way around you'll be dead before you know it. But there's nothing you can't do there." He shrugs self-consciously. It's stupid and sentimental to talk like that but Gotham has always been his favourite place in the world, no matter how twisted and rotten she may be.

Nataku laughed, delighted. "You have to show me how to do that. It's not fair just showing off."

It was almost hard to believe Will wasn't a performer. He certainly liked the attention.

"Why do you work alone?" He didn't try to guess. He could sort of understand. Homura did the same thing as him, but they were both accustomed to working alone and even here they wouldn't necessarily make a good team on the battlefield. Homura had even used that weak point against him on the night they fought. Still, he certainly wasn't opposed to the other demi-god's companionship. He had to wonder why Will chose to work alone.

He smiled, a little wistfully. "Nothing, huh? I don't like cities much, but it must be good to love a place like that."

"When they actually let us outside again it's a deal," Jason replied, surprised to realise he meant it. Teaching Nataku a few tricks would be fun. Till then showing off was fun all on it's own.

"I prefer it that way. Partners are more trouble than they're worth." It's all he wants to say on the subject, anything else is too complicated to explain.

"You can't prefer the sticks over a city?" Jason's expression is one of mingled horror and disgust at the mention of the countryside. He may have travelled to some pretty remote locations to further his training but he'll take any city over being stuck in the middle of fucking nowhere. Shaking his head again, he says "If we ever get the chance I'll take you there and show you around." Few people knew Gotham like he and Bruce did and Jason liked to think he had a better knowledge of the city than even Batman. He stayed with her no matter what and didn't go off and spend his days in a cushy manor or on the other side of the globe.

"Awesome." Nataku was quite clearly pleased with this, eyes widening a little with excitement.

He frowned a little, thinking someone so interesting must lead a lonely life. "What about friends?" Of course it was something to worry about, because if Will didn't make friends then they couldn't be friends. And he liked Will.

"I've never been to a city that's like that. If I can, I'll come with you." He still felt the need to defend his own territory. The forest wasn't a bunch of sticks. If anything, it was a lot better than a bunch of giant buildings with endless corridors and people who only thought about themselves, wasting their long lives trying to claw their way above eachother - or not doing anything at all. But Will's city probably wasn't like that, so instead he said, "Back home, even if I mess with those lazy guys sometimes, it's not the same as being out in the forest. 'There's nothing you can't do there.' That's enough of a reason to like it, right?"

"I don't have the sort of life where you get the chance to make friends. Most of the time when I'm meeting people it's not a social call." His tone remained carefully neutral and he avoided looking at Nataku as he spoke. He wasn't interested in pity or anything like that and he wasn't even sure why it matters whether or not he has friends.

"Yeah, it's a good reason. I never spent much time out of the city unless I had to, but maybe you can show me 'round your place sometime." He doesn't think he'll ever like the country, he's always been a city kid. A forest might be OK for ambushing people in but it can't possibly be the same as Gotham with her endless rooftops, derelict buildings, subway systems and so many other places you can disappear right out from under someone's nose.

But he likes Nataku's company and it's not going to matter until they get out of here. Whenever that happens he'd be willing to see the kid's home and to see what can be done to fix it. From what he's heard so far the place is badly in need of Red Hood's kind of clean-up. After that, who knew. There might be time for fun.

Edited 2009-08-16 10:00 (UTC)

"Same here. I had Goku but... Hey, we can be friends, right?" There was some nervous anticipation in the question, but Nataku understood not leading the type of life that precluded many friends. If anything, the news was received with quiet empathy.

He nodded, smiling at the thought of dragging Will around the forest. If he thought it was boring, they could always go swimming or play games or...anything. The particulars of getting a human into heaven - and avoiding detection long enough to have fun - didn't really enter the equation.

Jason blinked, looking back up at Nataku in surprise. It wasn't what he'd been expecting to hear but- "Yeah, I'd like that."

He hesitated before adding, "In that case, my real name's Jason. Jason Todd. I'd rather you didn't use it on the bulletin board or anywhere like that though."

Nataku grinned. "Jason." He parroted, committing it to memory.

"I won't use it on the bulletin or anything," He agreed, pausing a moment. He didn't look at the board much anyway, let alone use it. "But why are you hiding your name?"

"There's people here I don't want knowing I'm around." He almost left it at that but from what the kid had said he'd understand and it felt right to explain why he'd lied.

"Some of my 'family' are here. We don't get on any more - if it were up to them they'd leave me locked up in a place like this for the rest of my life." Or in a real insane asylum, though it was hard to say whether this place was worse than Arkham or not - considering the people who were locked up there. "It's easier to avoid them if they don't know I'm here so I haven't been using my name much."

"They'd leave you locked up in here to die?" Nataku's brow furrowed slightly in disapproval though there wasn't a hint of disbelief in his voice. If he hadn't been useful, he would have been locked up in a dark cell and forgotten like Homura, or just never born at all, so what did he have to be surprised about?

If humans were anything like the gods, they needed no reason for that kind of action beyond their own fear and guilt.

"Did you disobey them," He asked quietly. "Or are they just jerks?"

"They think I deserve to be locked up." Bruce might carry on about never being able to kill but he'd been happy to leave him to die before and the whole damn lot of them would rather he was still dead even if they didn't have the balls to do it themselves. So given the chance he didn't doubt they'd all leave him here.

"It's complicated. I guess you could say they're a little like your 'gods'. I killed people so I deserve to be punished. I failed and so they don't want anything more to do with me." He couldn't keep the bitterness from creeping into his voice as he spoke, fists clenching in anger as he glared at the wall. Shaking himself out of his thoughts before he has to start hitting something, he shot Nataku a grim smile. "Guess you could say both."

Edited 2009-08-19 08:48 (UTC)

"They're a lot like the gods then." His anger was quietly controlled, balanced by empathy for Jason and years of keeping his temper on a tight leash. There were more important things to think about right now anyway.

He leaned forward precariously and reached for Jason, trying to close his fingers lightly against his arm or the material of his shirt. He didn't know if the touch would be welcome, but he tried anyway, meeting Jason's eyes. "If I'd disobeyed him sooner, my father would have turned away from me and done the exact same thing. I know what it's like." But what he was really trying to say was just You're not alone.

Jason wanted to slap away the hand on his arm, the anger too strong for anything that didn't hurt. But he understood what Nataku was saying and it's not unwelcome, someone who doesn't think there's something wrong with him because he wants to make sure no more kids die alone and in pain.

Swallowing down the rage, he reined himself in enough to shoot Nataku a grateful smile. "Family right? Who needs them?"

He's tempted to explain - it's not exactly the same. Nataku's father sounds like a grade-A asshole while Bruce might be a lot of things but he wasn't all bad. He'd given Jason a better life than he ever would've had otherwise and living with him, being Robin, had been the best thing that ever happened to him.

"What made you decide to stop listening to him?"

Some people were more receptive than others, and he didn't begrudge them that, but in Jason's case the touch just seemed to sharpen his temper - or maybe, like Nataku, it was the gentle touches that hurt him the most.

He only shook his head. He hated his father, just like Jason seemed to hate his family but hate wasn't nearly as strong or dangerous as love. And he loved his father too. He would still obey the man's word should he choose to make an appearance here. There was only one person who had ever made him waver.

"Goku," Nataku replied. "He was my best friend. He wasn't a War Prince but there was a chance he could take my place - and with it any influence my father had over the other gods. I was ordered to kill him. I almost did, too. I had a sword balanced at his throat and all he did was smile and tell me his name." Nataku smiled a little, though tears stung his eyes. He blinked them away. "The only thing I really decided was that I wouldn't kill him, not even for my father."

"He sounds like a good friend. You're lucky." Jason crouched down in front of Nataku so he could look him in the eye. He kept some distance between them - as much for his own benefit as for the kid's - but he wanted it to be clear he wasn't going anywhere.

"What happened after that? I don't believe your old man would be OK with you disobeying him." It was entirely too easy to come up with ways the situation could have played out and none of them were things he liked to think about. Nataku was fine now but he didn't know how long ago this had taken place and it was possible - easier sometimes - to do plenty of damage without laying a finger on someone.

"Yeah," He agreed. "Maybe you can meet him sometime."

Not that he wanted Goku to end up here for any reason, but Jason seemed like he needed more friends who weren't jerks. Even if it wasn't Goku, he'd have to introduce the man to Homura. They'd both tried to change their homes for the better in their own ways; he was sure friendships had been built on less than that.

Jason's question brought him back to the present, though having the man crouched in front of him brought a fleeting sense of discomfort. "I don't know what happened after," He replied, honestly. "I turned my sword on myself, and then I woke up here."

Jason's eyes narrowed at Nataku's reply. Christ, the kid had what? Hospitalised himself? Because he couldn't disobey his old man. If he ever met the asshole they'd be having a niiice long chat. For as many days as he could make it last.

"Jesus, kid. That's messed up." Fucking understatement. His hand had unconsciously wandered up to rub at the scar from Bruce as he thought how completely unsurprising the whole story was. Family. Always the fucking same, no matter who or where you were.

Focussing back on Nataku, he asked "And if your old man showed up here? What then?" If the kid had stabbed himself rather than disobey it didn't suggest anything good would happen in the fucker was brought to this place, no matter how much he might deserve it.

There was no arguing to the contrary. It was messed up in plenty of ways. Instead Nataku's gaze flicking downward to follow the movement of Jason's hand. He'd never been overly conscious of scars, and his eyes had skipped over even such a prominent one, but now that he looked at it he had to wonder if it held more significance than a fight gone awry.

Thoughts of his father dragged him back, anxiety mingled with fear because he knew it was possible for Li Touten to show up here. And he knew how he would react without thinking of it.

"I obey him," Nataku replied solemnly, the bitterness returning. "I would be lying if I said I could do anything else. He's my father."

Edited 2009-08-25 16:32 (UTC)

"Doesn't mean you've got to do what he says. You don't need him and he can't hold anything over you here." He didn't expect it to be that easy, that Nataku would change his mind just because of a few words but he couldn't keep quiet. It had to be said and maybe something would get through. Nataku sounded like he hated his father and how the bastard treated him and he had disobeyed him before. It just would require persistence to make him see he didn't need the man. Even if he never showed up here, it would be better for the kid to accept that he didn't have to obey someone because they were family.

"It's irrelevant." Nataku replied harshly, though his anger was clearly turned inward. It was impossible to explain the ties that bound him to his father. The twisted illusions of love they each possessed seemed to defy every reason Nataku could conceive to disrespect or disobey - and there were plenty. Obedience was carved right down into his bones. He wouldn't lie to Jason or himself about that.

"Isn't it the same with your family? If they hadn't turned away..." He looked at Jason, desperate for understanding. It didn't seem right not to try to explain.

Edited 2009-08-27 17:51 (UTC)

Jason shook his head, opening his mouth to argue. As everyone seemed to like pointing out, he hadn't always listened to Bruce or done what he was told to. That was what had gotten him killed in the end. But little things, like 'wait here' or 'don't just charge in' were one thing. He had had a good idea of how far he could push before Bruce would decide to throw him back out. But if something really mattered, if disobeying would have gotten him dumped back in Crime Alley? He would have done anything for Bruce, fucking anything to be allowed to stay. Pretending otherwise would be a lie.

He abruptly stood up, pacing restlessly again. "It's not- I could have left-" If he wanted to? But that wasn't right. He'd been Bruce Wayne's adopted son and who wouldn't try and return a kid to the richest man in the city? Maybe he could've left Gotham if he wanted to escape Bruce but he wouldn't have had any way to get a job so he'd be back to fending for himself like before. And Batman wouldn't tolerate an ex-Robin stealing.

He hadn't wanted to leave anyway - he'd believed in Batman and what they did. Most if the time. When he didn't though, he still did things Bruce's way no matter how he felt. Jason sighed in frustration, trying to find the right words. "My- The guy who adopted me. He wasn't bad. I used.... used to think he was the best person in the world, even if he didn't care much about me. But."

But what? If Bruce had killed the Joker.... or if he'd just let Jason himself do it... If he'd come and found him that night in the cemetery or after that.... Would he have gone back?

yesyesgodyesplease

Bruce didn't want him, hadn't ever wanted him, he knew that. But. "I don't... It's a lot easier. Not getting to make the choice." It wasn't a good answer, was barely even a answer but it was the best he had.

Day 43: Chapel

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