http://moral-liberty.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] moral-liberty.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] damned_institute 2009-08-19 06:08 am (UTC)

Kaworu looked closely at Otacon. He was Lilim. They all were Lilim. All the same thing.

But if that were true, why should he remember Otacon, or Yousuke and Naoto, or even Shinji? If they were all the same, why did he feel his heart drop whenever he found no sign of the dark haired, blue eyed boy from his memory in anyone else? The pull he felt for Otacon was nothing like that for Shinji, or the man who had first asked him how he felt about the name Kaworu. Many years ago he had leaned over to show him on a piece of paper how he had written out the characters.

Suddenly and inexplicably, Kaworu regretted that he could not remember anything else about him. He could not even promise that it was a man and not a woman. The more he tried to summon up details, the less convinced of them he became. He had forgotten this person who had changed his identity indefinitely. It could have been anyone who had named him. Anyone. If Kaworu could let these memories slip away from him, there was nothing to say it would not happen again. If they were all Lilim, why did it matter? If it didn't matter, why did it bother him..?

"You will not be forgotten," Kaworu said, unsure if he meant by himself or others. He didn't want to forget Otacon, but what would stop the decay of emotions and memories? He was not Lilim. "You have loved and been loved, and you have felt pain as others have felt it because of you. By overcoming fear and opening yourself up to hurt, you will never be lost by those who have accepted you. You are easy to love," he looked up to the front of the chapel, "I can tell."

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