damned_institute | Day 37: Men's Showers

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Day 37: Men's Showers

I wouldn't really call this a locker room. More like a bathroom with lockers. The place was uncomfortably crowded, with almost every adult male patient being hustled into the showers at once, but Phoenix wasn't as annoyed by the claustrophobic, milling throng of bodies as he might have otherwise been. Every extra person was one more person who might end up standing between himself and Edgeworth.

He knew that the prosecutor would have a fit if he found out about this. He'd known since he'd tacked that first response up on the bulletin board. And in a way, he couldn't blame him. Phoenix knew that he jumped into things all-or-nothing more often than most people. At the same time, he had some kind of reality testing. He wasn't going to learn the basics of how to defend himself and suddenly decide that he was Rambo.

He found an unoccupied locker in the southwest corner and glanced around, trying to gauge how long he could possibly stall in a locker room, looking as if he was expecting something, before people started looking at him strangely. It would have been easier if he'd known something of the description of the man he was supposed to be meeting. As it was, all he had was handwriting and a military rank, neither of which guaranteed any particular appearance.

It's not as if there was a better way to plan this, though. "Yeah, meet me by the lockers. I'll be wearing gray and a smiley face, just like about a hundred other guys."

[for Hughes]

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Time to himself would have been preferable. Time spent talking to another person would have been acceptable, but annoying. However, time spent talking to Near was roughly as appealing as slow death by strychnine poisoning. Mello only gave a brief glance to the side before turning back to the showerhead with a mild smirk.

"Yours too."

He'd expected more from Near, honestly. From the looks of it he'd gotten himself dangerously close to death, and Near wasn't one to overestimate his abilities or the abilities of those around him. In fact, looking back on their childhood, Mello couldn't recall a single instance where Near had been badly injured (usually because the caretakers were quick to separate the two of them). He couldn't have had enough time to analyze the subtleties of the barter economy, so anything he looted he looted for personal use. What was he planning, then?

He'd gone to the pharmacy the first night, and although that could have been to verify Mello's claims, it wasn't like Near to risk something as dangerous as going through the sun room for the sole purpose of proving Mello wrong. What else had he been looking for? The pharmacy was bordered by an exercise area and a locker room...nothing of interest there. If his main objective was actually drugs, was he hoping to barter with addicts? Pointless and risky. Addicts weren't reliable sources of information, and if they were going to risk their lives for things to trade for drugs, they'd just as soon cut out the middle man. Most likely, he stopped at the pharmacy on his way to the furthest hallway, which had at least four or five storage rooms. However, he wouldn't retrace his footsteps unless absolutely necessary, especially since he'd had enough time to waste factchecking Mello's bulletin notes.

So, unless Near had some plan completely unknown to Mello, his goal last night must have been the first floor file rooms or the chemical storage. The file room made the most sense, considering the visitors and Near's comments earlier today about how he suspected they might be brainwashed people rather than constructs.

He didn't want to say anything to further the conversation, and he definitely didn't plan on explaining the details of his meeting to Near. He could do his own damn homework.

Mello glanced around the showers, disguising his action by scrubbing shampoo into his hair. Still no Light or Mikami, and even L was absent. This was a rare opportunity, as much as he didn't want to take it. Near had to know what he'd told Mikami, if Mello's plan were to be assured, and the matter of L was still open. Mello planned to take care of it himself, as he did with most things, but he had to know what information Near was privy to so that he could best predict his rival's actions. However, there was a fine line between using someone and collaborating with them. He had to be careful not to cross it.

"Heard a lot of ideas," Mello said as he rinsed the soap from his hair. "Some people think that everyone here is dead out there."

Hopefully, Near would connect that with the fact that Mikami knew Mello was here but wasn't aware of Near. If Mikami returned to the real world with the assumption that he'd die if he did what he'd initially planned, he'd alter his plans for the final meeting. Although Mello didn't particularly care about Near's death, he needed Mikami to lose to ensure his own posthumous victory.

The statement was carefully phrased to hide the fact that Mello had given Mikami that suspicion. They'd deal with L soon enough, but if L was slipping into incompetent madness, it mattered far less whether that conversation was overheard as long as he could disguise Near's identity.

Any victory, it seemed. Near didn't miss Mello's expression, the cause of which was obvious. What wasn't, of course, was the cause of the cause; the reason why Near had received his injuries. In his never-ending efforts to stay one step ahead of his rival, Mello no doubt would try and think out what Near had done to get his wounds, and why he had done it. Of course, the idea had been something of an impulsive choice, or at least as much of one as Near ever made. He'd wanted to examine the radio clues since his first night. Last night had just provided the opportunity, at a high cost.

But Near had shown discernible interest in numerous topics. Mello might very well think his focus was on the wrong one, or rather, one so much that it resulted in his injuries. Truthfully, Near expected similar wounding to happen frequently when he ventured out, simply based on the fact that his physical prowess was entire lacking.

Mello dropped the topic, and whether it was temporary or not, Near would let the elder decide. What interested him more was Mello's second response; the offering of information without it serving the purpose of contradicting Near. This either meant that Mello considered something Near had done to be so in his benefit, he felt obligated to return the favor, or that the information being given to Near was somehow crucial for Mello's overall victory. Given that there was nothing Near thought qualified for the first, and also that Mello would have made exactly what he was repaying explicitly clear so Near couldn't attempt to use the generosity later to his advantage, the reason was the latter.

So what did Mello gain by telling him that some people thought everyone was dead in their own worlds?

Near considered what he knew, and what two issues were most pressing to them both at present. L, and his apparently faltering, or Kira and his followers. Considering that, it was simple enough to deduce which situation this was relevant to. It ultimately didn't matter if L thought they were all dead, because it wouldn't impact the results of what happened. Near highly suspected L had been taken from the point of his own death, meaning that L couldn't change anything even if he did retain the memories of Landel's on return to their world.

This left the Kiras. Yagami Light, Amane Misa, and Mikami Teru. At least one of them had come to Mello's meeting, and at least one of them thought that everyone was dead. Regardless of which one it was, Near now considered it likely that Yagami Light, the original Kira, also had this thought, as it would have been reported to him by his subordinates had he not heard it directly. What Near had heard in the Chapel made it evident that Yagami Light was from a time when he could effect change. With Mikami's potential knowledge of the future, and the plans put into place for Yellowbox, Light could potentially surmise that his side had lost that confrontation. Otherwise, Mello wouldn't have said that they thought everyone was dead.

"I wonder why they would think that." Near had his suspicion, of course; Mello jumping the gun based on his own assumptions, only to realize the potential mistake if he were wrong after he'd given away a crucial piece of evidence. If Yagami Light returned to their world retaining the knowledge he had learned at Landel's, he could effectively change the future. Even if every event played out as it had been in accordance with their memories, Kira only had to change what happened at Yellowbox. If he discovered the plan Near was certain he would put into play in their world, then the side of justice would lose, and Kira would win.

And that was assuming Near wasn't found out inside the Institute, and that his resultant death here wouldn't affect his life in his own world. He would have to observe the Kiras, of course, and look for signs that he'd been discovered. To date, Near was certain that didn't happen, and Mello's words in a way confirmed that by the same reasoning that they confirmed the danger. Everyone was dead, not the enemies.

Near let out a small sigh, and began to wash himself. The movements were slow, methodical, and precise. "For better or worse, that's what they think. In some cases, it might be better not to convince them otherwise."

"I don't need to take direction from you," Mello snapped. He fell silent, but judging by the rough way he scrubbed soap from his shoulders, he was still bristling for at least twenty seconds. Intellectually, he was sure that Near knew better than to actually expect him to do so, and he almost certainly hadn't said what he said with that goal in mind. Still, the reflexive fury was as strong as it had always been, and he scowled in silence until it dissipated.

He noticed Mikami only after another sweep of the room, this one disguised as a look towards the teen beside him. His eyes narrowed slightly before he turned back. The sound of the shower should obscure their voices...most likely, even Near couldn't hear more than a few people. He continued washing with much less caution than Near used, occasionally pressing his lips together with discomfort. Mello wasn't patient with anything, and his own weaknesses and injuries were treated with the same distaste he directed at subordinates who failed in their tasks.

When he spoke again, his voice was casual and his body language indicated that the conversation was nothing unusual. Mello had briefly considered switching to Arabic, which he'd established as a relatively secure code language, but that would have immediately alerted anyone listening that their conversation was meant to be secret, and the subject of the conversation he was about to have was secondary to keeping themselves separate in the eyes of the other patients.

"Maybe," he said, completely disregarding the outburst a moment prior. "I can't just leave everyone to their own devices, though. Like it or not, I'm responsible for a lot of patients now, and the way the institute manipulates people could screw over everyone involved. I can't let that happen." He wiped his hands down his face and sighed heavily. A nice, safe speech to be overheard, though it contained a little more self-righteousness than he would have normally used. Mello had plenty of self-righteousness, but none of it involved responsibility to others. In fact, he didn't know why he'd said that to L in the first place.

He was sure that Near would understand the implication that he believed the institute had done something to L and that he intended to take care of it himself, despite what doing so might require. He also imagined that Near would accept the fact without protest, since it was clearly necessary to ensure success in the Kira case. Despite that knowledge, threatening L's life was almost inconceivable for Mello, and the idea of following through on that threat made him sharply queasy and as close to panicked as he was capable of feeling. The emotions were well-disguised, however, and his voice revealed nothing but his usual confidence. Whether or not it fooled Near was incidental. At this point, Mello was working to convince himself.

Even his own death had been less disconcerting than engineering the death of the person his life had been built to emulate. He couldn't waste time thinking about that shit, though. It was necessary, so he'd do it. That was all he needed to know.

The possible consequences for L's erratic behavior had been made clear, but Mello wasn't sure if Near would deduce that he'd made L aware of his intentions. If he had to, he'd clarify that later. It was an important detail, since it meant that L had motivation to fix himself or neutralize the threat he presented to his heirs. Mello didn't care whether L was sane or insane, as long as he wasn't a liability.

That hadn't been what Near had been implying, but it was a predictable enough leap, given the person he was talking to. Of course he knew Mello wouldn't follow his direction, nor would he like Near pointing out his mistakes. Yet it was as much confirmation as any that Mello had told one of them, in some for or another, that the Kiras had lost. It meant things both outside and in were that much more at risk. If Yagami Light believed that memories could be retained on return to their world somehow, then he would as likely as not bide his time, making sure he wasn't defeated before he could escape. If he didn't, but still believed that death in Landel's could affect the timeline within their world, Near's life was at immediate risk if he was exposed, and it had just become more pressing for that side to do so.

Near would have to be very careful just who he communicated with in the future, and when. Even utilizing the anonymous identity he'd created to counter Mello's would be of little help. His rival would be under constant surveillance now, and if Yagami Light had somehow gotten hold of Near's physical description, he would be easily identified. Given the slight change in Mello's expression just then, the risk was very present; Near could surmise from that narrowing of the eyes, however slight, that Yagami Light or Mikami Teru--perhaps both--had just come into the room.

Yet aside from that change, Mello's reaction was perfectly controlled, and silently Near praised him for it. He'd even avoided the temptation of changing languages, something that ran more risk of standing out in the showers than speaking in words they could understand. Seeing the elder slip into his anonymous role, Near focused on what was being said, both by Mello, and in the few conversations around him that he could hear with the noise.

They were changing topics. What Mello was saying related much more to the situation with L than it did with the Kiras. The manipulation of the Institute was the focus of his words, the key to understanding that. L had been manipulated, to such a degree that Near considered him little better than a broken toy at this point. He could still very plainly recall the man, the detective that he and Mello had both been shaped to replace telling someone to rely on Yagami Light; to rely on Kira.

Few things got Near angry enough to spark a reaction, even when he was as tired as he was now. Yet he still gripped his soap a fraction tighter when he remembered it.

Yet what Mello ultimately said was as shocking to Near as anything would likely ever be. Mello planned to take care of it? There was a very implication behind those words, and while Near understood the importance of it, he also knew what Mello's methods could potentially involve. That brought up countless more factors to consider into the equation: what Mello planned, how L would respond. If Mello could follow through with the most extreme and permanent method of resolving the situation (something Near found highly doubtful). What would happen then, if Mello made an attempt and failed.

Every move required that much more consideration from that point on. Not only had the Institute given a new twist in the battle again Kira, but also now had in its way pitted the heirs against L. Not only Mello, as much as the man would like to think that, but they both would have to manipulate the detective, ensuring that his risk as a liability was minimized, if not erased completely. It was hard for Near to think that L couldn't see that for himself, but apparently, this broken L was cracked to his very core.

"I'm sure many people feel the same way." Near's agreement, at least to an extent. That was easy to say, a clear message that Mello would interpret as something other than a personal insult to his ego. His next words would have to be carefully phrased, however. If Mello got the wrong impression of Near's intent, something that was highly likely, there was the risk that the elder would do something to counter it. Near had been considering his own next move, and tonight presented an opportunity he intended to take advantage of. It worked particularly well, given that his state would only allow him limited travel at best. "Even those outside of your care. Everyone will ultimately work towards the same goal, in whatever method they best can."

Again, Mello found himself irritated by Near's comment, though his rival was basically reiterating what he'd said himself. He hadn't expected Near to try to dissuade him from his chosen course, since both of them had to understand its necessity. However, he neither wanted Near's help nor had asked for it, and the fact that he'd been unwittingly backed into collaboration pissed him off to no end. It was only the disastrous results that would have resulted from confronting Near right then that forced him to restrain his temper, but that didn't stop him from mentally cycling through his extensive list of profanity while he glared at the the hot and cold shower taps. There could be no working towards the same goal, not unless they were racing to it. Near knew that. The drive to compete was the most basic, fundamental part of Mello's being, the way gravity defined a planet. It wasn't like Near to indicate the start of another contest, unless competition was to Near's benefit in a way that didn't include winning.

So what could Near stand to gain from this? The task was already something Mello felt cornered into, and he wasn't looking forward to it. Maybe Near understood how difficult it would be and believed that viewing it as a competition might prompt Mello to act with more clarity and precision. By focusing his strongest emotions on a stable target rather than an unpredictable one like L, he was less likely to be misled by the complexity of feelings left over from his training and upbringing. It was a reasonable assumption, and it might have worked if it hadn't been so damn transparent. Mello wasn't some toy car to be wound up and pointed in a given direction, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let Near manipulate him so easily. He'd do this on his own and he'd do it right, without assistance or support from some know-it-all brat.

Still furious, he turned his attention once again to thoughts of L, slightly less queasy this time. If it had to be done it had to be done, and he couldn't let childish sentimentality interfere with his ultimate goal. Hopefully L would get his shit together, and get his shit together soon. If he didn't, he'd be just another obstacle, and Mello had never shown mercy to people that threatened his success. Regardless of whether or not he wanted to, he couldn't start now.

It sounded like Near was planning something on his own, and Mello didn't intend to interfere. If it came down to it, Near would be incapable of doing what had to be done. His stubborn, short-sighted morality kept him from killing Kira...it would certainly prohibit him from dealing with L. Regardless of how close he got, he wouldn't be able to finish anything. It would be like putting together a puzzle with missing pieces. Why bother at all? If he was alert and a little lucky, Mello would benefit from whatever Near was attempting. If not, it would just be an irrelevant annoyance, and the fact that Near was attempting anything at all would make his own victory that much more satisfying. Mello's resolution was a dramatic shift from anxiety he'd felt a few seconds prior. He didn't think to consider the cause.

He rinsed his hair again as he considered the most tactful way to put 'keep the hell out of my way.' "People can do whatever they want, as long as it doesn't present a danger," Mello finally said. His voice was firmer than the statement required, but not enough to seem incongruous.

Mello's glare was an unmistakable sign that, as usual, the elder had made Near's statement more about himself than it actually was. Of course, it would work to his benefit, as Mello would view Near's involvement as some sort of competition. And though he would create a reason for his rival's actions and wish to refuse it based on the assumption that Near was leading him somehow, Mello would act with greater precision regardless. The situation was not one either could ignore or back away from; the consequences were far too severe for that.

And speaking of the devil in their veiled talk--the subject of the conversation appeared, distinctive even with the visual impediments inherit to their surroundings. Near noted where L went, as always doing so on the edges of his vision, his eyes seemingly focused on a safe emptiness at a far off angle. No one joined the famous detective, at least not for the present, yet the proximity made L's purpose clear enough.

Near had no doubt that given what had transpired over the past day, L had a higher interest in his heirs' movements. He would be listening to them, attempting to determine from their choice of words what their next actions would be, if not with Kira, then with him. Additionally, L should have realized even without a direct look that both heirs would be aware of just what he was doing. And that meant L, by his presence and his placement, had in a sense issued a silent challenge to his successors.

What message would he convey, then? Unlike the broken man who shrugged off his responsibilities, Near also had the additional concern of what Kira or X-Kira would overhear and discern. What he said next could not deviate from the conversation he was having with Mello, lest it stand out to those who might have been listening from the start. Yet at the same time, it had to be carefully worded to communicate only what he wanted L to hear.

Near might have enjoyed this puzzle more if the circumstances that created it had been different.

"I agree." And that was the message L would hear from Near. Mello had definitely decided to act, and given his personality, had likely communicated as much to L. Even if he wouldn't be able to follow through with it, Mello might even have gone so far as to threaten L's life, should the detective do something so foolish as to endanger the results of the Kira case. Near, of course, wouldn't do something of that nature. The taking of life was something he ultimately disagreed with, to such an extent that it nearly had given the ultimate victory to Kira. But that didn't mean he would let L wreck that acheivement. Near shouldered the burden of completing the task, seeing the road to its end now that he alone was left. "It's frustrating when people don't think about the consequences of their actions. And regardless of how unfortunate it is, those people will have to be dealt with, if there's going to be any real chance of saving everyone else."

If L was no longer suited to be L, then Near too would do what was necessary; he would take hold of the title of L.

"Everyone's aware of that," Mello said. Now that he'd calmed slightly, his voice was a compromise between the usual clipped tone he used with Near and the more casual matter-of-factness he'd used with others last night. He'd noticed L's arrival as well, which was part of what forced him into relative order. He understood the importance of the situation as well, which was evidenced by the fact that he hadn't stormed out of this conversation.

He'd already directly threatened L. There was nothing else he could do beyond making good on that threat, so the final outcome was now up to L. L knew the stakes, and if he were smart enough, he'd do as Mello ordered. If Landel had compromised him to such a degree that he couldn't be recovered, allowing him to die was no different from sacrificing a once strategic point overtaken by an enemy. Despite his arrogance, Mello had limited resources. He couldn't afford to waste valuable time and energy trying to keep his predecessor in line when he needed to concentrate on gaining control of the rest of the institute.

"Speaking of consequences." Mello looked over to Near again, pretending to take a second to silently assess the teen's injuries. "You're not in any condition to deal with something on that level." The matter-of-fact tone nearly concealed the arrogant disdain in his voice. He turned off the faucet and grabbed his towel. "If you try to help and you're not up to the task, you could end up as more of a problem than a solution."

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Day 37: Men's Showers

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