"I don't need to take direction from you," Mello snapped. He fell silent, but judging by the rough way he scrubbed soap from his shoulders, he was still bristling for at least twenty seconds. Intellectually, he was sure that Near knew better than to actually expect him to do so, and he almost certainly hadn't said what he said with that goal in mind. Still, the reflexive fury was as strong as it had always been, and he scowled in silence until it dissipated.
He noticed Mikami only after another sweep of the room, this one disguised as a look towards the teen beside him. His eyes narrowed slightly before he turned back. The sound of the shower should obscure their voices...most likely, even Near couldn't hear more than a few people. He continued washing with much less caution than Near used, occasionally pressing his lips together with discomfort. Mello wasn't patient with anything, and his own weaknesses and injuries were treated with the same distaste he directed at subordinates who failed in their tasks.
When he spoke again, his voice was casual and his body language indicated that the conversation was nothing unusual. Mello had briefly considered switching to Arabic, which he'd established as a relatively secure code language, but that would have immediately alerted anyone listening that their conversation was meant to be secret, and the subject of the conversation he was about to have was secondary to keeping themselves separate in the eyes of the other patients.
"Maybe," he said, completely disregarding the outburst a moment prior. "I can't just leave everyone to their own devices, though. Like it or not, I'm responsible for a lot of patients now, and the way the institute manipulates people could screw over everyone involved. I can't let that happen." He wiped his hands down his face and sighed heavily. A nice, safe speech to be overheard, though it contained a little more self-righteousness than he would have normally used. Mello had plenty of self-righteousness, but none of it involved responsibility to others. In fact, he didn't know why he'd said that to L in the first place.
He was sure that Near would understand the implication that he believed the institute had done something to L and that he intended to take care of it himself, despite what doing so might require. He also imagined that Near would accept the fact without protest, since it was clearly necessary to ensure success in the Kira case. Despite that knowledge, threatening L's life was almost inconceivable for Mello, and the idea of following through on that threat made him sharply queasy and as close to panicked as he was capable of feeling. The emotions were well-disguised, however, and his voice revealed nothing but his usual confidence. Whether or not it fooled Near was incidental. At this point, Mello was working to convince himself.
Even his own death had been less disconcerting than engineering the death of the person his life had been built to emulate. He couldn't waste time thinking about that shit, though. It was necessary, so he'd do it. That was all he needed to know.
The possible consequences for L's erratic behavior had been made clear, but Mello wasn't sure if Near would deduce that he'd made L aware of his intentions. If he had to, he'd clarify that later. It was an important detail, since it meant that L had motivation to fix himself or neutralize the threat he presented to his heirs. Mello didn't care whether L was sane or insane, as long as he wasn't a liability.
no subject
He noticed Mikami only after another sweep of the room, this one disguised as a look towards the teen beside him. His eyes narrowed slightly before he turned back. The sound of the shower should obscure their voices...most likely, even Near couldn't hear more than a few people. He continued washing with much less caution than Near used, occasionally pressing his lips together with discomfort. Mello wasn't patient with anything, and his own weaknesses and injuries were treated with the same distaste he directed at subordinates who failed in their tasks.
When he spoke again, his voice was casual and his body language indicated that the conversation was nothing unusual. Mello had briefly considered switching to Arabic, which he'd established as a relatively secure code language, but that would have immediately alerted anyone listening that their conversation was meant to be secret, and the subject of the conversation he was about to have was secondary to keeping themselves separate in the eyes of the other patients.
"Maybe," he said, completely disregarding the outburst a moment prior. "I can't just leave everyone to their own devices, though. Like it or not, I'm responsible for a lot of patients now, and the way the institute manipulates people could screw over everyone involved. I can't let that happen." He wiped his hands down his face and sighed heavily. A nice, safe speech to be overheard, though it contained a little more self-righteousness than he would have normally used. Mello had plenty of self-righteousness, but none of it involved responsibility to others. In fact, he didn't know why he'd said that to L in the first place.
He was sure that Near would understand the implication that he believed the institute had done something to L and that he intended to take care of it himself, despite what doing so might require. He also imagined that Near would accept the fact without protest, since it was clearly necessary to ensure success in the Kira case. Despite that knowledge, threatening L's life was almost inconceivable for Mello, and the idea of following through on that threat made him sharply queasy and as close to panicked as he was capable of feeling. The emotions were well-disguised, however, and his voice revealed nothing but his usual confidence. Whether or not it fooled Near was incidental. At this point, Mello was working to convince himself.
Even his own death had been less disconcerting than engineering the death of the person his life had been built to emulate. He couldn't waste time thinking about that shit, though. It was necessary, so he'd do it. That was all he needed to know.
The possible consequences for L's erratic behavior had been made clear, but Mello wasn't sure if Near would deduce that he'd made L aware of his intentions. If he had to, he'd clarify that later. It was an important detail, since it meant that L had motivation to fix himself or neutralize the threat he presented to his heirs. Mello didn't care whether L was sane or insane, as long as he wasn't a liability.