"Hmm..." ZEX closed his eyes. He wished his injury had been a delusion, since it had been completely humiliating, but he still had the marks to prove it. "DAX didn't believe me when I told him what happened. He said... I did it to myself, going through withdrawal from some kind of hallucinogen, or something of that nature anyway. I'm not sure if that's worse than what actually happened or not." He sighed, still tired and struggling for a clear answer. "I had no proof for him except my word, my memories... it makes one wonder. If we're mad, who's to say our word is to be trusted... and if we were mad, would we even know?"
ZEX sighed again when his human leaned in closer to him. Maybe this was a battle he should have waged on his own... he didn't like putting so much pressure on someone else to solve his problems, particularly when they had no easy answer. But still... "Our delusions diverge on several key details... I'm dead in yours, aren't I?" You killed me came to mind, but he decided not to say that in so many words. He'd never understood why his human believed he saw him die beforehand... he was obviously alive. This gave a motive for it that was hard to ignore. "You struck a possibly fatal blow against the Ur-Quan, something I thought impossible, in a noble and heroic quest to save our sector from enslavement... do you wonder, sometimes, if it seems too perfect for you? Where our delusions split apart, where I die and you live, you've merely expanded on your own without me?" ZEX paused, and he sighed again, leaning against him with a barely noticable shudder. "But then again, I don't think Caleb would want to escape his life as much as Max would. What DAX described sounded so unpleasant... I don't blame him for trying to run."
ZEX waited for a few seconds, then pulled away from him a little to sit up straight. He blinked again, trying to make the world focus as usual, hand starting for his eye before he forced it away. "Hmm... I shouldn't be dragging you into my problems. This kind of thing is just... difficult for me. When I was young, I had to learn to accept myself for who I was, despite everyone I knew telling me I was perverted, damaged, mentally ill. All of that." A somewhat pathetic attempt at a weak smile. "I told you before, about our therapists. I withstood their threats and attempts to 'realign' me because I knew who I was, and that what I wanted was natural. As long as I knew that, they had no influence over me."
A pause, and he looked down. "It's... self-doubt is not a good feeling for me. It brings back memories I'd rather forget."
His cunning plan has been discovered!
ZEX sighed again when his human leaned in closer to him. Maybe this was a battle he should have waged on his own... he didn't like putting so much pressure on someone else to solve his problems, particularly when they had no easy answer. But still... "Our delusions diverge on several key details... I'm dead in yours, aren't I?" You killed me came to mind, but he decided not to say that in so many words. He'd never understood why his human believed he saw him die beforehand... he was obviously alive. This gave a motive for it that was hard to ignore. "You struck a possibly fatal blow against the Ur-Quan, something I thought impossible, in a noble and heroic quest to save our sector from enslavement... do you wonder, sometimes, if it seems too perfect for you? Where our delusions split apart, where I die and you live, you've merely expanded on your own without me?" ZEX paused, and he sighed again, leaning against him with a barely noticable shudder. "But then again, I don't think Caleb would want to escape his life as much as Max would. What DAX described sounded so unpleasant... I don't blame him for trying to run."
ZEX waited for a few seconds, then pulled away from him a little to sit up straight. He blinked again, trying to make the world focus as usual, hand starting for his eye before he forced it away. "Hmm... I shouldn't be dragging you into my problems. This kind of thing is just... difficult for me. When I was young, I had to learn to accept myself for who I was, despite everyone I knew telling me I was perverted, damaged, mentally ill. All of that." A somewhat pathetic attempt at a weak smile. "I told you before, about our therapists. I withstood their threats and attempts to 'realign' me because I knew who I was, and that what I wanted was natural. As long as I knew that, they had no influence over me."
A pause, and he looked down. "It's... self-doubt is not a good feeling for me. It brings back memories I'd rather forget."