He hadn't always been the strongest willed person in the world, but that was why he had such strong people around him. Kondou had kept him from crying as a child. Tetsu kept him smiling now that he was old. And Hijikata kept him from breaking when he became a demon to follow him. He always followed in Hijikata's footsteps, but when the path suddenly disappeared, he had no idea what to do.

Now he saw where it led and he felt like he'd never be able to walk it again. Hijikata was frustrated with him, trying to force him into believing he was Julian Ikeda and not the Shinsengumi captain. It was a pretty lie, but it was still a lie. This wasn't Hijikata. Hijikata would never lie to him, and he would never ever leave him like this. "Stop calling me that. It isn't my name."

He suddenly felt like a petulant child again, insisting his name was Soujirou and not Souji. He was confused and he didn't know where to turn. He knew the life outside these walls was nothing but a lie, but the lie had Hijikata now and the truth...looked grim in comparison. "...why did you leave, Hi-- Sugiyama-san? I thought you were staying this time."