damned_institute | Day 36: Waiting Room, Lobby 2

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Day 36: Waiting Room, Lobby 2

Celes had actually relaxed enough, speaking to Naminé during lunch, to allow herself a small smile. It thinned into a line, of course when her nurse materialized from nowhere and swept her off, giggling over her 'surprise.'

"Oh won't it be nice?" she chirped as they walked into the waiting room. "You'll be so happy, I am absolutely sure of it." Celes's small smile thinned itself into a line and she was plunked into a chair to await her visitor. Perhaps I shall be lucky, she thought, looking at some ridiculous motivational poster. It won't be anyone I know, not really. Her nurse wandered away and Celes folded her hands on the table, the picture of impatient waiting.

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Even though she should have known better, Naminé couldn't bring herself to believe that this boy was not Soma, the one who promised to protect her and adopted a new name to set himself apart from Riku. She even foolishly hoped that it was a ruse, and that Soma was merely acting; surely, he was actually thinking of ways to escape?

"How did you escape from here?" She asked him in a hushed whisper, deciding to test this theory. After all, she never had a visitor, so the Nobody simply didn't know any better. "I was worried about you, but I'm so glad to see that you're OK."

"Well, I didn't escape," Casper explained, his tone somewhat withdrawn as he rubbed at the back of his neck. He could vaguely remember having similar ideas when he had been in Sarah's place - wanting to get out, rather than wanting to get better. But he had worked past all of that, and he knew that his friend could too.

"They just let me go once I got better, you know?" He tried a smile again, but was busy wondering why she was worried about him when it should have been the other way around. Then again, she had always been like that, hadn't she?

"Anyway, Sarah, you've gotta hang in there, all right? I know you can get through this too." It had been hard, trying to abandon the strong emotions that had come with his false memories, but he was that much more improved because of it now.

He didn't...?

Naminé stared a bit as Soma explained that he "got better", and that he believed that she could too. Got better? But then that meant that...

"I... I see." She seemed speechless for a moment, looking at her feet and trying to compose herself. What did she expect, though? Now Naminé could understand why these visits left people shaken, why some had to be carried off or even sedated. But she was a Nobody; she shouldn't be feeling hurt or sad over this.

Yet, she didn't want to just accept it. Soma had already had his memories tampered with once. It just seemed so wrong that he had his identity and memories changed again, against his will. What had Landels done to him?

"But that... that can't be right! You remember, don't you? You remember what you've seen here, haven't you? You got hurt during some nights!"

Honestly, Casper hadn't expected Sarah to react this way. He could understand if she had been somewhat nervous to see a friend again when she was still sick, but she was actually getting worked up. His surprise showed on his face as he tried to justify how she was acting.

Then again, she wasn't well in the head right now; of course her behavior was strange. In the end, Casper let out a sigh and tried not to look like he was pitying her, even though he was. He had been there, after all - caught up in that web of falseness, feeling so strongly that he had been right about who and what he was when that wasn't the case at all.

"I remember being here, yeah. But... nights? I don't know what you mean," he eventually responded. He wished that he could somehow help her, just reach out and explain things to her and be believed, but he knew it wasn't that easy.

No, he had to remember the nights. If he remembered the day, how could he dismiss what he had seen during the night? Of course, Landels might have done something to him... with his memory. Perhaps the links had been scattered once more, or if the Head Doctor and his team had enough power, destroyed?

Did that mean he was lost forever?

"No, you must... You traveled with Roland and I. Roland gave you the name 'Soma'. What about back then, back at Castle Oblivion? You remember that too, don't you? The only false memories you have are the ones I gave you!"

Soma... Soma didn't deserve this. He had been lied to so much, it actually was starting to hurt the other Nobody. She was starting to get uncharacteristically upset for someone who easily accepted that she technically had no emotions.

As Sarah raised her voice and pleaded with him, Casper felt some guilt that he was forcing her into such a state. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't come at all, since his presence was just sending his friend into incoherent babbling. He had thought that maybe he could help, but it looked like he was only making things worse.

"Sarah," he started with a frown, glancing around the room and hoping that no one was watching them too closely. He leaned toward her, and after an uncertain pause, placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You can't talk like this, all right? You need to try and pull yourself out of all of that. This isn't who you are..." He sighed, at least taking some comfort in the fact that she wasn't insisting that he call her by a different name.

It was obvious that it would be a long time before she finished with her rehabilitation, though. He knew it was stupid, but he had been hoping that she would be doing better by now. Things never worked out for him, though, and he should have realized that already. Still, he had hoped that maybe this one time, things could have gone right...

"..." Her words were not reaching him, as he continued to call her by her fake name and insisted that she could come out of it too. That this life was the fake one. But Naminé knew better, she knew how to tell between fiction and reality, and it hurt to see that Soma had been lost.

Unless... she could have tried to reach in his memories, see the extent of the damage done, but something stopped her. Really, she had no place saying that Soma would be happier in Landels, and as long as he got out unharmed somewhere...

Well, that's what she tried to tell herself. Suddenly, Naminé felt very sick in her stomach. It must have been the combined stress and worry, and it was visible on her face as she tried to give Soma a pained smile.

"... You are happy now, right?"

Maybe that was all that mattered. If he was living a happy life outside these walls, who was she to complain? It wasn't like he had anything back where they came from.

"Please tell me you're happy, and you're living a wonderful life outside here."

Even if his friend had stopped asking him uncomfortable questions, Casper could still tell that something was bothering her. It was easy enough to catch in her strained smile, and the way she was practically pleading with him.

But he could tell her the truth, and maybe that would assuage her worries just slightly.

"Yeah, I guess I am happy," he admitted, looking pretty surprised to be saying it himself. After everything he had gone through, it was strange to realize that his life was back on track now. He was finally being given the chance to be a normal teenager, even if he had to deal with the stigma of being that kid who'd been institutionalized.

"I'll be happier when you're out of this place, though," he added with a rueful smile, hoping that Sarah realized just how much he missed her. That had been the worst thing about leaving his place: leaving her behind.

Though Naminé was not the best with reading emotions, she couldn't seem to detect any falseness in Soma's answer. He was telling the truth, as far as she could tell. He really was happier with his new life, even if it was a lie. How was that different from his previous life, then?

And when he told her that he would be happier when (when, not if) she left this place, Naminé wondered if such an option was even open to her. But only for a moment, and she just shook her head. No, Naminé wasn't sure if she could ever delude herself into believing that her life was fiction.

"You should... just forget about me, and move on then. I don't have a place out there anyway," Naminé sadly told him. She didn't want Soma to cling on "false" memories of her, not anymore.

It was painful realizing this, but it was for the better, right?

When Sarah came out with that all of a sudden, Casper looked like he'd just been slapped in the face. So she was just going to give in, then? He hadn't ever thought that she would turn her back on him like that. Maybe he shouldn't take it so personally, though. Sarah wasn't well, she didn't know what she was saying.

He tried to hold it together, wanting to reach out to her and yet refraining out of fear that she would shove him away. "That's not true," he insisted with a shake of his head. "Look, I know it seems impossible, but there is a chance for you to get better. You just have to work at it. Then..."

Then they could be something like a family again, right? He knew they were only friends, but sometimes it felt like it could be more than that. In what way, exactly, he wasn't quite so sure of, but...

"Just," he continued with a sigh, "you can't give up, all right?" Maybe his words would fall on deaf ears, but he had to make an effort, as much as it hurt.

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Day 36: Waiting Room, Lobby 2

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