"Don't ask me. I think I sold candy bars once or twice as a kid, and I'm not nearly as cute now as I was then." Especially in these clothes. Geez, as if everyone in town thinking I'm nuts isn't bad enough. I'll just reinforce the 'crazy hobo' image if I'm swinging around a bottle.

"We could at least try a bar, a grocery store, something like that. Maybe there's someone who works there who could use these." He glanced out the window at a few dry leaves skittering down the street. "It's autumn, right? Christmas can't be far off. These things could work as stocking stuffers, I guess."

Great idea. I can just see the happy couple sitting around that morning:

"Oh, honey! A manicure! Did you buy this off of the mental patients?"
"For just two bottles of beer!"
"I love you, darling."