"Thoughts. . . .?" He ruffled at his hair, then straightened it again, after a few moments of thought shaking his head. "You'll get more solid ones in a day or so, but I can give you my best impressions right now."

He wanted to filter what he said. He wanted there to be more careful consideration and judgment behind his words. But in the end, his heart usually beat his brain in the race for his mouth, and today was no exception.

"I just . . . I wish I wasn't making everything this awkward. I wish it still didn't seem so unbelievable. Knowing what happened helps, but it's not the same as remembering it. Right now all I can do is keep trying -- and that's okay, I'm used to that," he admitted lowly, averting his eyes. He vastly preferred extracting confessions to giving them; he had to force the next words out, picking at the cuff of his sweatshirt nervously. "But if I could just start where we left off -- completely seamless, just like you say it was . . . I'd do it." He looked up, swallowing, and the unease of newness shone clear in his eyes beneath the dogged honesty. "I'd do it in a heartbeat."