Logan's gaze returned to meet Peter's once more, although the empty sadness there had been replaced by a look of steely resolve. His eyes bore into his friend's own, and would have been intimidating, if that was his intention. "Ya migh' no've been, bu' I was. 'S' tha same, 's'no differen' from tha other times. Whether it happened here, or in Siberia, or tha jungles o' Brazil, 's'all tha same ta me. Seems 's'all I been doin', m'whole life. Hurtin' people, an' rarely gettin' a say in whether or no' they deserve it. Worse still is when they make me believe these people deserve it, 'specially when they don'. An' tha's wha' I mean by 'atone', kid. I got a chance. I know I can' change tha pas', can' change wha' happened las' nigh' anymore than I c'n change tha things I done fifty years ago. Bu' I c'n make up fer it, or a' leas', try ta." He now held the look of a man possessed, of someone trying to convince himself that if he did enough good, all of the bad memories would just melt away. They wouldn't, of course, but if he kept telling himself that, he might just be able to sleep at night.
"Wha' I mean is, tha I'm gonna try'n do everythin' I can ta help whoever I can. M'life ain' m'own no more. It belongs ta whoever I c'n keep from hurtin', even if it means takin' tha pain for 'em. I don' know wha' tha odds're o' gettin' people outta here, or shuttin' Landel down. Don' know how lon' it'll take. Bu' I swear ta ya, kid, tha' I'm gonna stay here as lon' as it takes, 'n figh' wit' eveythin' I have, until I done both." Logan's fists were clenched again now, and he was talking through his teeth. He meant every word of it.
After several seconds, he relaxed, the fire slowly fading from his eyes. He took a deep breath, looked down briefly, then back up at his roommate. "Yer righ' again tho, Parker. In tha shor' term, I guess I gotta a' leas' 'paper over tha cracks'. I'll try'n keep an eye out fer any o' tha kids I tussled wit' las' nigh', an' a' tha very leas', they c'n ven' at me." A half-smile, again with little humour. "A' leas' I c'n take it if they feel they gotta pay me back."
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"Wha' I mean is, tha I'm gonna try'n do everythin' I can ta help whoever I can. M'life ain' m'own no more. It belongs ta whoever I c'n keep from hurtin', even if it means takin' tha pain for 'em. I don' know wha' tha odds're o' gettin' people outta here, or shuttin' Landel down. Don' know how lon' it'll take. Bu' I swear ta ya, kid, tha' I'm gonna stay here as lon' as it takes, 'n figh' wit' eveythin' I have, until I done both." Logan's fists were clenched again now, and he was talking through his teeth. He meant every word of it.
After several seconds, he relaxed, the fire slowly fading from his eyes. He took a deep breath, looked down briefly, then back up at his roommate. "Yer righ' again tho, Parker. In tha shor' term, I guess I gotta a' leas' 'paper over tha cracks'. I'll try'n keep an eye out fer any o' tha kids I tussled wit' las' nigh', an' a' tha very leas', they c'n ven' at me." A half-smile, again with little humour. "A' leas' I c'n take it if they feel they gotta pay me back."