damned_institute | Day 26: Cafeteria, Lunch

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Day 26: Cafeteria, Lunch

Scar felt cold and sick, though more the latter than the former. As he rose from his bed, he didn't quite know which way was up, and the artificial light coming from overhead seemed as hot and as blinding as the Ishbal sun.

His head hurt, but that was nothing new. After all, the last thing he remembered from the night before was fighting a homunculus off of Lust and then having a conversation about events best left forgotten. The man hadn't been his brother. He just hadn't. And if what Lust had said they'd done to her was true...

Scar stood with shakiness that he wanted to attribute more to a bizarrely weakened physical state than a mental one. Had he been knocked out by some kind of lurking monster before the morning had come? He felt as if he had been out for days, being a veteran of such circumstances, though as he took the practiced role of being an obedient follower behind the nurse and orderlies that came for him, it didn't seem as if much had changed.

This place was probably just playing tricks on him again, and he was tired of being the man left out of the loop. He grabbed some food he didn't really care for and sat down, not seeing anyone he knew already seated. On one hand, he wished he had someone to talk to, and on the other, it scared him that he was no longer used to being alone.

He dug his fork into his food and tried to block out any related thought.

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Renji's arguments would have meant more if not for the touch of rage that marred his words. His arguments didn't hold water.

"That's different," Hitsugaya answered, feeling as if put on the defensive against Renji's attack. He didn't like being cornered by his own allies. "I punched one man, once. And while Ichigo may be an arrogant brat, I doubt he was making obscene references about your friends. Why did you attack him, anyways?" Maybe Renji had a good reason. Hitsugaya still felt justified in attacking Jack earlier. Maybe his timing wasn't the best when it came to his attack, but his enmity with the human captain was founded on Jack's blatant disrespect for Momo.

On to Renji's next statement. "I'm not worried about the sedatives. I'm worried that things got so bad with another patient that you got yourself sedated. You're not thinking straight, and I mean without the drugs. When you train those other students tonight, when there aren't monsters for you to vent against, who do you think's going to suffer for another 'moment of temper' if it comes up?"

He did make a good point, though. If Hitsugaya were in Renji's shoes as he saw them, he wouldn't want to sit in a room and brood. He'd protest every step of the way. That didn't mean it was the right course of action. Sometimes being a leader meant forcing other people to do things they don't want to do.

"Yes," Hitsugaya responded. "But I'd also listen to my commanding officer if he ordered me to take the night off." He glanced aside and muttered to himself, "You'll have company, at least."

"You're not just having a bad day, Abarai-fukutaicho," he commented to Renji's next point. "Someone's hiding something from me. Either you can tell me right now why you're acting like this, why Kuchiki-san is drugged and mumbling about the doctors, and why I should be warning everyone to be extra-careful against them, and I'll reassess my choice, or I'm ordering you to take the night off and get everything in order."

"As far as your obligation goes," Hitsugaya added. "I've already agreed to help Ed tonight. I'll see what Tamaki wants to do. If it comes down to it, I'll train the boy myself." Not that he wanted to...he had to find out about the doctors tonight...but if push came to shove, he'd take over for Renji's duties.

"I agreed to train Tamaki. I took on Artemis and Sheska as well because it's better to have people to train with. Are you going to see to them as well, or will you be forcing me to break my obligation?" He bared his teeth; the anger was starting to burn through the drugs. "I would never hurt a child under my care and you fucking know it."

But he had hurt Ichigo. He'd broken the boy's nose and almost done far worse. Just thinking about it made him feel sick. Perhaps Hitsugaya was right; but admitting that meant admitting that there was something that had broken within him, and he refused to believe that.

"I am not--" He grimaced, biting down a shout. "I told you why I'm pissed off. That's it. There is nothing more to it. Nothing else has happened. I don't know what the hell is wrong with Rukia. I don't know what she's on about. I haven't spoken to her since yesterday before lunch." She'd been sedated? What the hell had happened? What had she done? What had he done to her?

He propped his elbows on the table and put his face in his hands. Nothing made sense, none of it. Rukia couldn't know. It wasn't possible. He'd told no one. And if she did know...

If she did know...

"Don't do this to me," he whispered.

Hitsugaya remained quiet as Renji made his argument. He was so insistant, so angry, so desperate. He was just proving more and more that Hitsugaya had made the right call. Renji was in no condition to do his duty. Even if the vice captain refused to admit it, it was the best course of action. Just one night. The nights in Landel's were unnaturally long. He'd have plenty of time to come to terms with whatever internal struggle he was going through.

Renji's last whispered breath put the final nail in his coffin. He hated to do this to someone who had been so strong, and who had done so much for their cause. The Arts and Crafts division would be nothing if it hadn't been for Abarai Renji....but it was strong enough now to survive one night without him.

He took a step towards Renji, close enough that his voice wouldn't carry to any other inquisitive ears, but still keeping enough distance to not appear invasive. "I'm sorry," he said, meaning those two words he so rarely uttered. You didn't see a strong man like Renji come to this everyday. If he had the power to fix the vice captain, he would have in an instant. "If anyone asks, I'll tell them you're on a confidential mission. Take the time off. I'll make certain all of your duties are tended to."

He'd wanted to yell and argue. Hearing the Captain apologize... was like being punched in the gut. He didn't want understanding, or sympathy, because he wasn't broken, he was fine.

Or maybe he wasn't. Not if it were so obvious. Maybe this was the confirmation that he'd become weak, useless. He had failed, everyone.

The anger was gone; all that was left in its place was despair that no amount of sedatives would be able to replace. Renji stood without saying anything and walked away. There was nothing else he could do.

Hitsugaya sat back down as Renji walked off. The momentary glimpse of sympathy faded from his eyes as he began to focus on other matters. There was a lingering thought, a wondering what had happened to cause Renji so much distress, and a decision of what he was going to do tonight.

Still, there was no sense bringing further shame. He would fade into the background for now, and if anyone had any objections, he would lie. He wasn't good at lies, but if he just kept things quiet, this might not blow up any further than it had. He only hoped Renji had the common sense to not try and go behind his back. It wasn't for Hitsugaya's best interest, nor the arts and crafts division.

It was for Renji.

He looked around for Kurikara, then took a bite of his plain noodles. The dragon was supposed to be meeting him this shift, and bringing a friend. He liked the dragon and was curious to learn more about him. He needed a mild diversion from what he had just done, anyways.

It took Kurikara a little longer than expected to get from one table to the other. He wanted to check where the goddess was before he went to speak with Hitsugaya, and he was happy to see her occupied and smiling. His stomach growled a futile protest at the almost sickening smell of food from every corner. Even a god could be childish at times, and he felt like being childish over this. He didn't want to take food from the staff here. He didn't want to depend on them for anything.

So stealing was better. A little. Kurikara sighed. He was obviously too old to be worrying if it made him obsessing over little things like this. It wasn't like he gave a damn about what happened to his people anyway.

Still Kurikara grinned as he approached Hitsugaya and rested both hands firmly on his hips. "Let's set this straight right now: the second you start acting like your people did on the board, I'm out of here. I don't need an entourage and they've got better things to worry about."

There he was. And he started the conversation without asking about Renji. He feared this might be the last conversation he'd have in a long while where his Vice Captain didn't come up.

He rolled his eyes at Kurikara's mention. Back when they had arranged this meeting, both Momo and Rangiku went sickeningly sweet in adoration of Kurikara. Sure, he had a certain reverence for dragons, what with the form of his zanpakuto, but the level of adoration they had provided was sickening. "I don't know what got into those idiots," he said gruffly. "I'd expect it out of Momo. She's...excitable. Not Matsumoto, though."

He motioned to an empty seat, taking a bite of his plain spaghetti noodles. "I thought you said you had a friend for me to meet."

Well it looked like he had nothing to worry about. Hitsugaya seemed about as disturbed as he was when it came to the adoration from his teammates. Kurikara shrugged. "They know better now."

He used the seat Hitsugaya offered as a stepping stone and helped himself up onto the table for the second time that day. A few seconds later he was sitting cross legged with his arms resting lightly in his lap. The nurses had never bothered him about it before, and he doubted if they would start any time soon.

"Yeah, she's over there with a friend." He said, gesturing vaguely to the table where Amaterasu and her companion sat. "I'll take you to her when we're done and then I have to do something before the shift is over." When had his life become so complicated? A glance at the nurses by the door, then back at Hitsugaya. "So boy, tell me more about this sword of yours."

Kurikara's sitting on the table was a little odd, but no more peculiar than half the habits of the shinigami he knew. He took another bite of his noodles as he pondered how best to talk about Hyorinmaru. With anyone else he would have made some comment about his reference to Hitsugaya as a 'boy,' but this dragon had earned it. He probably called everyone 'boy' or 'kid.'

"Hyorinmaru is...well, no one's exactly sure what they are. A shinigami's zanpakuto is part of his spirit, but it's more than that, too. It has its own personality, own strengths and weaknesses. And while a shinigami can always use his zanpakuto, it takes a long time to even learn its name. Longer still to learn how to borrow the zanpakuto's strength and fight together with it. Very few learn how to actually master the zanpakuto's spirit."

He ate another forkfull of plain noodles and swallowed before continuing. "Hyorinmaru is a dragon. When I travel to its spirit world, or when I make it manifest in the real world, it takes the form of an ice wyrm. When I release its power, it takes the form of a dragon. It's considered to be the most powerful ice-type elemental zanpakuto."

He shrugged. "Dragons don't exist in my world. The closest you'd ever see is in my bankai."

Just as when the girls described it to him, it sounded like his swords back home. They were a part of him, his spirit and soul. He couldn't help but feel some respect for shinigami who thought so highly of their own partners.

Still, he could be separated from any but Futsu and Murakumo with no real problems and even those two swords were able to move on their own whenever they wished. Were the zanpakuto more like his own swords, or like the shikigami themselves?

"You're better off without dragons. We argue." Kurikara told him. He reached for some of Hitsugaya's noodles, eyes alight with curiosity. "What's a bankai?"

"You know," Hitsugaya said as the dragon reached for his noodles. "There's a whole buffet table of them over there." He didn't really bother to stop the man from taking them, though. While he could have eaten ten plates of the noodles, one was enough to keep his energy up. He didn't need a lot of reiatsu to survive here, probably because he couldn't burn much of it off.

"Every shinigami's zanpakuto has three forms," Hitsugaya explained. "Its unreleased, its initial release, and its final release, or bankai. Bankai is what happens when you've completely mastered your zanpakuto, to where it bows completely to your will. Of those living, I can think of less than twenty shinigami who have acheived bankai. Using your final release increases your power by five to ten times that of normal."

He swirled up another bundle of the plain noodles and ate them. Nowhere near as good as rice, but much better than the sloppy joes they served last lunch.

"Yeah, I know." Kurikara replied, completely unabashed. He flashed Hitsugaya a careless smirk. "You can get some more if you want."

Tatsumi had said almost exactly the same thing but he'd had the sense to move his plate away at the same time. Hitsugaya wasn't so lucky. Kurikara pinched off a small portion of the noodles in his hand and twisted them together. It wasn't too difficult with plain noodles, and the dragon had a lot of practice eating with his hands.

He ate listening to the shinigami describe Bankai. "Ah, it's more different than I thought. My swords... they're like yours in that I forged them from my own spirit but they're always fully aware of themselves, and always of the same power." He replied, uncommonly thoughtful. "The shikigami are more like your zanpakuto."

Hitsugaya really didn't care all that much what Kurikara took. If he really cared, he would have done something about it. He finished enough to keep him going, then set down the fork.

"You mentioned that term before," Hitsugaya replied. "Shikigami. What are they?" If they were anything like his Zanpakuto, maybe there was enough of a similarity that they could help one another to find them again.

Kurikara reached for more noodles. "I can't say exactly what we are. Dragons, gods, and many creatures that have become myth in the human world live in Gensoukai, the Imaginary World. We're called shikigami.

Our world is sealed but the shinigami are allowed to travel into it if they wish to obtain a shikigami. We choose our masters, and test their skills, and if they succeed they're allowed to call on us in battle. We're bonded to them. Our power is their power. Even a god shikigami can only be as strong as their master's heart," The dragon grinned humorlessly. "Because a shikigami will go insane if their power can't be controlled by the master they choose. The more power, the more destruction we will cause. I assume the same can be said of your Zanpakuto."

Hitsugaya pondered his words and ignored the hand that grabbed for his noodles. "It does sound similar," he agreed. "To a point. My reiatsu...spiritual power...is directly tied to the zanpakuto. But at the same time, we have to work together to attain greater power. Fighting on my own, I'm nothing compared to fighting with Hyorinmaru."

He paused for a moment, thinking about the words Kurikara used. "Our power." "We choose our masters."

Just like when Jean revealed she was a living weapon, Kurikara's words gave him hope. "I wonder...if they could pull you shikigami here, maybe they did something to our zanpakuto."

"It is possible. You may be able to get further if you speak to Byakko on this. His master is here. I'm not sure if their connection still holds." It was none of Kurikara's concern to ask, but if Hitsugaya wanted to pursue the topic in search of his zanpakuto, Tsuzuki and Byakko were more than friendly enough.

Another thought occurred to him though. The shinigami were different, but that didn't necessarily mean they were connecting to different worlds. "Also, shikigami are able to live and fight without their masters. Do you know if it's the same for your zanpakuto?"

Hitsugaya nodded. "I'll do that. Thank you."

His thought was a very valid point. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "It's never been seen, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. Until recently, the concept of a hollow-shinigami combination was just a myth, so it's difficult to say what's possible."

Shinigami? That was interesting... although Hokuto wondered what exactly a hollow was. She didn't remember Subaru ever talking about them...

"Sorry if I'm interrupting," she said, giving a quick little bow for politeness' sake. "We talked on the board earlier and you said I should look for you--so, you're the Arts and Crafts leader?" Being able to speak at least somewhat freely was good; she needed to find a group and join up with it, and this seemed like the best way to find out about them. "I'm Sumeragi Hokuto. Nice to meet you."

Were there shinigami here? Well, she figured it made as much sense as anything (i.e., none)... but she could ask about that later, for now she needed to be filled in on a few things.

Hollow? What was a hollow? But one topic at a time seemed to be enough.

"There are parasitic-type shikigami as well. I wonder if..." Kurikara trailed off as they were approached. He cared very little for the usual manners, being the sort of person that almost never observed them, but he bristled obviously at the interruption. Humans.

He might have thrown a punch, but he needed to be alert when the time came to take care of Tsuzuki. Instead, he glared at her and growled much louder than a being of his size should have been able to. "DON'T BARGE IN ON CONVERSATION WITH GARBAGE LIKE THIS!!"

Hitsugaya wasn't one to mind interruptions, so long as they were polite. This new person, Hokuto, had approached with an apology and a bow. He was more than willing to respond to her, tell her maybe she should come back once they had finished....

But then Kurikara showed his fangs. Hitsugaya's eyes widened slightly at his growl, arguably too massive for someone of the dragon's size. While he was amused by the dragon's reaction, it also wasn't befitting a captain to just let a potential recruit be scared off like that.

"That was excessive," Hitsugaya muttered, somewhat grumpily. He glanced at the newcomer. "Yes. I'm the captain of arts and crafts division. We were in the middle of something...you new here?" If someone was new and lost, that was more important than the luxury of pleasant conversation. A captain's duty was never done.

Hokuto raised her eyebrows at the person who'd yelled. Very softly, she asked, "Would it be better if I announced in front of the nurses that I'm joining in the plotting to eventually escape?" It was reasonably safe to say, for her--she wasn't escaping from Landels while it still functioned. Only after it was gone did she plan on leaving.

To Hitsugaya, "I can talk to you later, if that's better. I was the one who mentioned my brother's drawings--he's an onmyouji. I'm a martial artist and a little bit of a magician; I'm new enough here so I'm not sure where I'd be most useful." In short, she was asking for assignment somewhere--all she needed was a room number to report to. If the group didn't work out for her, she could always find another.

Kurikara's eyes flashed. He was holding his annoyance in check, but only barely. "I'll move over if you want to get up on the table and try that." He snapped. He folded his arms across his chest.

Kurikara's temper took a hair-trigger at the best of times. In the desert he'd had the tendency to kill the things that disturbed him, or at least maim them badly enough to caution any others from returning. He had no desire to do that here, so he let it smoulder.

"What do you expect? She injured my pride. I'm not used to people interrupting me."

Despite the lofty words, there only seemed to be weary annoyance in his voice. He looked off, willing to let them chat until time grew short. There were many people who would need Hitsugaya's help and he could be trusted to give it to them. Truthfully, Kurikara much preferred if the girl chose to stay. There were people here who were far less honourable.

Kurikara seemed annoyed, but otherwise didn't seem inclined to cause any more trouble. He was used to tempers flaring, and although Kurikara's was more extreme than that of most shinigami, the dragon seemed to be willing to give them a little time to sort things out.

Hitsugaya glanced back to the woman. "Now is fine," he said. A martial artist could be useful. "I can put you on the roster for tonight. Towards the end of next shift I'll put up assignments, including where you'll meet tonight. Was there anything you needed to know before I do so?"

"Mostly what we're doing," Hokuto said. "Not that I can prepare much..." she smiled, dryly. "But it's good to know at least a little in advance." If he didn't want to tell her yet, it was still okay; he seemed like he could be trusted, and all she needed was the room number.

"I'd like to be part of the self-defense lessons, too, if that's possible--I've helped out in classes before." And if there were any advanced classes--she'd only been in training for eight years, and there was always more to learn.

There was something to be said about making plans, and keeping busy; as long as she could do that, she might even be happy here.

"I haven't made the schedule for tonight yet," Hitsugaya answered, snatching up and eating the last of the noodles on his plate. "But once we do, I'll give a brief explanation on the board. I'll probably have you doing sumi-e...mapmaking. There's still a bit of this place that we haven't explored."

He nodded. "That could be useful. Abarai-fukutaicho's the main instructor right now, but we could use people to relieve him. I'll see what he thinks tomorrow." He wasn't about to talk to the vice captain today. He needed time away from his duties.

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Day 26: Cafeteria, Lunch

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