Sora was dreaming -- or that was how it felt, at least. On the other hand, it was all too real to be a dream, wasn't it? Sometimes it was so hard to tell the difference, but dream or not, he was caught in complete darkness. And it wasn't just around him, but in him -- coming out of his eyes, clawing out through his mouth and making him choke. And while he tried to run, he didn't have the energy. Instead, he tripped, and fell, and before long he was just floating into what felt like an abyss.
Except eventually, a light showed itself, far above him, and he went grasping for it, pushing himself upward like he was caught underwater and working frantically to reach the surface before he ran out of air--
And then, he was awake.
Sora was so startled that he'd fumbled his way out of bed before his brain had really woken up. Breathing hard, he found that his hand was pressed tight against his chest, over his heart. He gave a panicked glance around the room, but only saw Link sleeping there. But somehow, that triggered his memory, and suddenly he remembered it all. Link taking off, the start of his transformation, and then running into Tsurugi...
If he'd been lucky, it would have ended there. He wouldn't have had any recollection of what came after that. But unfortunately, he wasn't that lucky, and he recalled almost every detail: his descent into darkness, the people he'd attacked (friends and strangers alike), and that undeniable need for those hearts. It was frightening, and he felt his own heart beat under his palm. How could he have done those things? No, more than that, how could he have turned into one of the things that he'd dedicated the past few years to fighting?
Sora found himself taking steps backward until he hit the edge of his bed, at which point he pushed himself up to sit on it, completely shellshocked. "Everyone... I hurt everyone." His voice sounded the same as always, but it was if something in him had changed. He was still the same person, but he had never done anything like that to a friend before. Even when he'd changed into the Anti-Form during battles in the past, he'd only ever targeted other Heartless. He'd never turned on Donald and Goofy, so why this time? What had Landel done to him?
That man had to be stopped, but Sora realized that he had to be stopped first. There was no way he was allowing himself to attack anyone else, and he knew that when darkness fell again he would turn. Which meant that he needed to get this taken care of before that could happen. Someone would need to stop him, even if it meant the unthinkable. He'd rather die than hurt his friends, and he knew that.
But first he would have to admit to what had happened and apologize. It didn't matter that while he was in his right mind, he would never even comprehend of doing such a thing. There was still blood on his hands, and the only upside in this whole mess was that he hadn't actually killed anyone. Sora didn't know what he would have done with himself if that had happened, and he didn't really want to think about it.
For once, he made no effort to be cheerful or kind around his nurse, instead walking in silence a few steps behind her until they reached the bulletin. It took a long time for him to find the words to explain what had happened, but eventually Sora drafted up a note. He didn't care that he was exposing himself to the whole institute. They all deserved to know.
It was only on the way into the cafeteria that he realized that he still felt sick. The symptoms didn't seem as bad as they had yesterday, and Sora honestly didn't know what to make of that. But it was clear that whatever was wrong with him, it wasn't over yet. With no appetite (not after he'd spent the whole night feeling a very different kind of hunger), Sora went to sit down, positioning himself near the entrance in case anyone wanted to confront him about last night. He'd take all their anger without complaint -- but the thing was, he wasn't sure they'd even be angry. That was the thing about friends -- they were just too good to him, and right now it didn't feel like he deserved it.
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Except eventually, a light showed itself, far above him, and he went grasping for it, pushing himself upward like he was caught underwater and working frantically to reach the surface before he ran out of air--
And then, he was awake.
Sora was so startled that he'd fumbled his way out of bed before his brain had really woken up. Breathing hard, he found that his hand was pressed tight against his chest, over his heart. He gave a panicked glance around the room, but only saw Link sleeping there. But somehow, that triggered his memory, and suddenly he remembered it all. Link taking off, the start of his transformation, and then running into Tsurugi...
If he'd been lucky, it would have ended there. He wouldn't have had any recollection of what came after that. But unfortunately, he wasn't that lucky, and he recalled almost every detail: his descent into darkness, the people he'd attacked (friends and strangers alike), and that undeniable need for those hearts. It was frightening, and he felt his own heart beat under his palm. How could he have done those things? No, more than that, how could he have turned into one of the things that he'd dedicated the past few years to fighting?
Sora found himself taking steps backward until he hit the edge of his bed, at which point he pushed himself up to sit on it, completely shellshocked. "Everyone... I hurt everyone." His voice sounded the same as always, but it was if something in him had changed. He was still the same person, but he had never done anything like that to a friend before. Even when he'd changed into the Anti-Form during battles in the past, he'd only ever targeted other Heartless. He'd never turned on Donald and Goofy, so why this time? What had Landel done to him?
That man had to be stopped, but Sora realized that he had to be stopped first. There was no way he was allowing himself to attack anyone else, and he knew that when darkness fell again he would turn. Which meant that he needed to get this taken care of before that could happen. Someone would need to stop him, even if it meant the unthinkable. He'd rather die than hurt his friends, and he knew that.
But first he would have to admit to what had happened and apologize. It didn't matter that while he was in his right mind, he would never even comprehend of doing such a thing. There was still blood on his hands, and the only upside in this whole mess was that he hadn't actually killed anyone. Sora didn't know what he would have done with himself if that had happened, and he didn't really want to think about it.
For once, he made no effort to be cheerful or kind around his nurse, instead walking in silence a few steps behind her until they reached the bulletin. It took a long time for him to find the words to explain what had happened, but eventually Sora drafted up a note. He didn't care that he was exposing himself to the whole institute. They all deserved to know.
It was only on the way into the cafeteria that he realized that he still felt sick. The symptoms didn't seem as bad as they had yesterday, and Sora honestly didn't know what to make of that. But it was clear that whatever was wrong with him, it wasn't over yet. With no appetite (not after he'd spent the whole night feeling a very different kind of hunger), Sora went to sit down, positioning himself near the entrance in case anyone wanted to confront him about last night. He'd take all their anger without complaint -- but the thing was, he wasn't sure they'd even be angry. That was the thing about friends -- they were just too good to him, and right now it didn't feel like he deserved it.
[For Tsurugi.]