damned_institute | Night 62: M11

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Night 62: M11 - M20 Hallway

After bidding good night and good luck to Kratos and being left alone in his room, Tolten stood and decided that he may as well make use of his time. It was rather like being in prison, or so he fancied. He'd never been imprisoned before, but he'd listened to the stories around the fire and the dinner table. And while he couldn't do much insofar as putting his mind to work, he could do his best to stay in top physical shape.

Even if he was (perhaps) under the weather. He didn't know what to think of the announcements that were made, either during the day or after dark. But he didn't trust them one bit. And until he could discuss it with someone else or read the bulletin, he was going to ignore it. It was really easier that way.

But in the meantime he would set himself a routine. Which would involve stretching and warming up each evening between dinner and whatever was to be done that night. Even if he was staying in. Really, especially if he was staying in. At least running about and fighting was physically invigorating!

The young king managed to strip off his shirt and stretch a handful of times before he felt light headed and decided to lay down on his bed for a moment. Just to catch his breath.

He truly hoped this wasn't warning signs of some horrible thing...

[Locke!]

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"I'm still learning to trust my instincts. Though...I sometimes wonder if I should. They've...led me wrong many times before." His instincts had said to trust Gongora, after all. More than trust him. And his instincts had told him Grand Staff was a brilliant idea. Not to mention everything else that had come after.

Life was too terribly confusing most of the time. And the present wasn't any exception, as Locke started to lean forward. He felt pinned, like when Her Majesty or Kaim would stand before him and move in close, to look into his eyes. Was Locke hoping to get a glimpse of his soul?

But mostly it reminded him of Jansen, who would suddenly stop and stand, practically nose to nose, searching Tolten's eyes for a hint of one of Gongora's favorite little devices. Still smiling, Tolten offered as much question as he could think. Softly and more curiously than anything.

"Locke...?"

Tolten's tone made him hesitate for just a moment. It almost felt like he'd been caught at something...but that made no sense; this was the point, wasn't it?

He thought he should say something but nothing was coming to him and they were already really close together....it wouldn't take much to just..

Locke leaned in and pressed his lips to Tolten's gently.

Tolten froze.

A part of his mind was suddenly well aware of what was currently happening. The rest was simply shocked into stunned silence. Locke was...was kissing him. He was being kissed. By his best friend. In his bed.

He wasn't even wearing proper clothes!

It seemed like he froze for an eternity, but in truth it was only a moment or two.

And then the young king jerked back, two thoughts screaming in his mind and fighting to be the first out of his mouth. One of those thoughts was a knee-jerk reaction born of denying his attractions all his life. The other madness, but the only thing that came to his mind.

I was with a woman earlier! fought against I wasn't ready to be kissed!.

Neither one seemed to be winning, and so Tolten simply sat there, mouth fluttering like a suffocating fish and every muscle tense.

In those seconds when Tolten froze Locke knew he'd been wrong all along. The crushing sense of guilt and foolishness mixed together and forced him to lean back again, averting his gaze back to the floor. How could he have been that stupid? here was a fifty/fifty shot about the situation and Locke had read it wrong.

Frantically, his mind raced over their conversation, analyzing how it had sounded and how it had actually meant. What had he been thinking? of Course that hadn't been what Tolten meant, it wasn't this friend that had put the thought into his mind, it had been Edgar and, as similar as the two kings were, they were not the same.

Part of him desperately wanted to run, to apologize and bolt from the room to hide with his shame. However, it was almost as if he'd been frozen in place; nothing wanted to move, not even his eyes which had found the spot where floor met bed frame and refused to move.

He'd gone down the wrong road and now he had to face the consequences.

"...sorry." His voice could have sounded a little stronger, at least.

There was no point in trying to come up with the proper etiquette for this sort of thing. Tolten didn't think there was proper etiquette for this! He didn't even know what 'this' was!

"No," was what he finally managed, shaking his head. Whatever was going on, Locke had nothing to apologize for. It had just...surprised him. Or whatever word was stronger than 'surprise', he couldn't think of one at the moment.

Though should he really be so surprised? Hadn't they spent the previous night with clasped hands, fingers linked like children playing at romance? And...well...they had discussed...things.

So Locke had kissed him.

And he hadn't even had the sense to pay attention! Tolten closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hands clenching into fists. His first kiss, his very first kiss, and he'd managed to miss it. Really, it could only happen to him.

"Don't apologize," he finally finished.

'Don't apologize.' It ran through his mind but it didn't register. Not really. It felt like that was exactly what he should have been doing. Every second he sat there, frozen in place, the more stupid and ridiculous he felt. He'd screwed up and put Tolten in an awkward situation.

Over and over all that ran through his mind was 'What was I thinking?'

Tolten seemed upset, possibly even angry, and Locke didn't blame him a bit. Locke had gotten punched for less and he half expected some sort of physical backlash now. He certainly deserved it.

"No...I should. I shouldn't have done that not when- I-" He paused and took a breath so he could sort through what he was trying to say. "I had the situation wrong and I did something that upset you. For that I should apologize."

Oh gods, this was all wrong!

"I'm not upset with you, I'm upset with me!" Tolten stood up and began to pace, raking his hair back and gripping it for a moment.

"I...I'm ill and it was unexpected and...I reacted poorly." How in the world had this happened? This was precisely why he held the belief the world was terribly confusing. He continually found himself in confusing situations! Panic fully engaged, as the situation was rapidly spiraling out of control, Tolten simply kept talking.

"I mean, I'm not upset that you kissed me. I just...wish I'd had a bit of warning. Or better circumstances...why did you do it now?"

He didn't think it was possible but, somehow, he would have sworn his face grew redder just thinking about needing to explain. There was no good way to explain...not without sounding as ridiculous as he felt. He'd just have to push through it.

He took a cautious glance at Tolten's face before returning his gaze to the floor. This was going to be awkward enough without seeing any reactions that came from it. "I guess...it was your note. I mean, it seemed fine when I first read it but then Edgar made a comment about- well, 'bout us meeting in your room like it was some nighttime fling and...the idea got stuck in my head....I remembered what we had discussed before and I couldn't think of another reason why- you know. I just...went down the wrong road." That sounded pathetic. "It was stupid." No. He just needed to stop talking. The mental image of himself digging a hole deeper was the only response his mind could come up with.

If only he could actually find the right words....if the right words even existed.

"Oh gods, you sweet silly man!" Tolten covered his face, his cheeks turning pink. Of course. Oh...he was torn between laughing and bolting because on hindsight...

"We're both fools! I..I..." The young king's emotions were going in every direction at once. Of course he understood how it happened, looking back now. From the moment he'd posted to the board, they'd been having two different conversations, hadn't they?

"I'm not feeling well and we've had such poor luck and I was sure you were exhausted and frustrated and I...I only meant we should take some time to take care of ourselves. Plan and... oh gods. Oh gods, I'm sorry! I didn't mean...it...I'm not very good with...with...communicating."

Tolten's words made him feel a little better, although he still felt ridiculous, at least the thought that he had completely messed up was fading. Slowly.

"No, it makes sense...now. I just- I shouldn't have let Edgar's teasing get to me. I...I am sorry..for putting us both in this situation." He gave a small, nervous, laugh. "Somehow I always end up saying or doing the wrong thing..." Especially in these more emotionally sensitive situations. Someday he'd get it right...maybe.

Locke finally chanced a glance up at Tolten, that nervous smile still on his face. "So...you're really not mad or upset or whatever?"

"I feel embarrassed and silly, but I'm not mad. Why on earth would I be mad?" Tolten took a seat at his desk, and discreetly cast his eyes about for his shirt. Where had he dropped it?

"I understand how my words gave the wrong impression," he went on. "What I meant about arming you...in the morning I'll know whether or not a friend has a blade for me. If he does...the pipe is yours. We'll both be armed without having to worry about passing outside. And you looked ill when you came in... I was offering my bed for you to rest."

Goodness! How easily words could be misconstrued! He'd have to be very careful in the future. Or at least try.

"And that...well, that didn't count anyway. I wasn't paying attention. I wasn't...ready. I thought...well...there'd be more courtship first. If I thought anything, I suppose."

Between Tolten's last statement, Locke's relief, and his still dissipating nervousness, the treasure hunter laughed. He couldn't help it, it was just...completely ridiculous and embarrassing and a little funny. Besides...it made him feel a little better, emotionally if not physically. "Sorry, I've never been very good at the courtship thing. Guess I'll just have to take some lessons first. Truth be told, I have been feeling a little sick pretty much all day."

For the first time since he'd set foot in Tolten's room he relaxed a bit and sighed, promising himself he'd never do something so impulsively stupid for a while. His quota had run out for now. "I am glad to hear about the weapon. It would be nice to be more useful whenever we go out." It would be nice to no longer be a liability.

Tolten stood back up, casually grabbing his shirt and pulling it back on. Or at least trying to appear as though he were doing so casually. His face sobered some and he nodded, frowning.

"There have been...mentions," he said, in regards to feeling ill. "I don't know what I believe, honestly. But...it's a bit worrying. I assumed I was just fatigued and nauseated due to running about all night, every night. I don't assume that any longer."

But surely...surely it was just some manner of bug. They were kept in closed quarters, only bathed every three days...even in a 'hospital' that was a breeding ground for illnesses.

"You're very useful, Locke. Just not currently for killing things."

He, largely, ignored Tolten's last statement, sparing it only a shake of his head. He didn't agree but he didn't want to turn it into a discussion either; it was better to just keep those thoughts in his head.

"Yeah, I assumed the same thing...but then it didn't go away so, now, I don't really know. I'd almost rather it was just something we caught but-" But every time he tried to dismiss the idea as nothing but fatigue or diet he remembered the gas and whatever it had been that had messed with his head the next day. It had to have been something they had slipped him-and others- because hallucinations certainly weren't normal, it had nothing to do with the gas from the night before, and it had faded away like something running it's course through him.Of course, in that case, the symptoms had been the same for everyone.

"Tolten, what exactly are you suffering from? Is it fever, nausea, and dizziness, or is it something else?" If their symptoms were the same then Locke was more than certain it was some sort of drug or something like that. If not....well...he didn't know.

"Light fever, some nausea earlier...headache and some muscle aches on and off." Tolten shrugged. "Nothing terrible, but...."

Still worrying, all things considered. "Just...generic illness, really. If I felt this way back home I'd chalk it up to stress or overexertion." The same things he'd chalked it up to here. "But if a significant number of patients are ill...the man I met in the showers wasn't exactly at his peak of performance either."

And with the announcements, what on earth was he to think?

"But really it makes more sense to think there's a bug going about than that perfectly normal illness symptoms are a sign of something more sinister. Hospitals are a breeding place for germs."

"Yeah....that would make sense." Locke pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Maybe he was just getting paranoid from everything that had happened. People got sick all the time. Usually he'd be able to take something or sleep for a couple days and be fine, but not here. Getting sick frustrated him to no end on a good day.

"You're right, about tonight, we should just...relax as best as possible until 'tomorrow.' It might help." He still wasn't entirely certain how 'tomorrow' could really be the next day when a guy didn't actually sleep in this place. It was unnerving.

In an attempt to lighten the mood again Locke flashed Tolten a smile that, he hoped, looked better than he felt. "So, what should we do with our night? Lie around?"

"If nothing else perhaps we'll be in a better position to judge if this illness is born of normal causes or not." 'Probably' and 'most likely' weren't certainties by any mean. And while Tolten kept repeating his logic to himself, he knew as well as Locke did that it was simply a hope.

But Locke had a good follow up point. What to do? The young king didn't have that much experience with just sitting around and talking. Oh, there'd been plenty of it on the Nautilus, but...

Well, he'd never done much talking.

"Tell me about your world," he said, suddenly.

"Hmm?" Well, that was one thought. It wasn't like Locke wasn't curious about Tolten and the world he'd come from, there just never seemed to be an appropriate time to ask; now, when they had nothing else to do, certainly seemed like the best. "Well....okay. Don't really know what to talk about, but I can, if you want." He smirked. "But! You've got to tell me about your world in return."

He shifted slightly, thinking about what he could say. "Well....it's a pretty nice place...or, well, it was. There were conflicts and all that, but they were never all that huge. There were three ruling kingdoms, one on each of the continents and it was all pretty peaceful. Then, one of the rulers, emperor Gestahl, went power-crazy and decided he wanted to rule everything. He started attacking other villages and cities, trying to gain power through fear and magic." He paused, wincing slightly at the thought of how Vector had attacked his own village, and Locke hadn't even been there to fight. It was still a little bit of a sore spot in his mind, even now.

"A group of people formed a resistance called 'The Returners' and we fought him as best we could, but it was pretty unevenly matched." He gave a wry smile, thinking of all the times The Returners would do something to sabotage the Emperor's efforts and yet it never seemed to have an effect. Not until Terra arrived, anyway.

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Night 62: M11 - M20 Hallway

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