He sat there for some time. He gasped and moaned and sobbed as loud and as quiet as he wanted. He tugged at his hair and dropped his flashlight, burying his face in his knees. Fuck it. Fuck the monsters if they came, he was busy. He'd rip them apart and he'd sit right the hell back down and carry on like he wanted, because the truth was he was too scared to face that piddly little room right now. Seeing those cupboards, seeing Brainy's name on one of them and rolling it out was the absolute most terrifying thing in the world to Peter in this moment.
"I'm really sorry." Nothing answered him. He was half expecting some ghoulish groan to emit from the dark, but nothing happened, so he carried on. "I'm so, so sorry Brainy. I shouldn't...I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have left you alone so much. I'm sorry. I'm really...I'm really sorry. I w-wasn't there for you.
"I don't know what happened to you. I don't know when you left, so...just. If it was Grell, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to. He doesn't deserve to live. But you - I don't know where you are. I just want you to know that you're like...l-like a part of, a part my family. You're one of my best friends. I love you, okay?"
Staring blankly into what was essentially a black hole made it easy to imagine whatever he wanted in the dim edges of his flashlight beam. The outline of a slender boy, too far away and too obscured to catch the details of his face. Peter traced the form with wide eyes. "I just want you to know that. That's...that's it. You're awesome and I miss you."
He stopped talking then, but remained seated until he couldn't feel the sting in his chest anymore. The tears stopped eventually too. and he wiped himself clean. By the time he drew away his hands, the figure had dissipated. He couldn't retrace it's form there again, no matter how hard he tried. And it was then, when the gasping stopped and his face had settled into resigned lines that things snapped into place. No. He didn't want to be alone tonight, he decided. He didn't want to spend the night in pieces. That was lame. Brainy would agree. Brainy would want him to keep going, to march on down there and not be a pansy and face the rest of his friends like everything would be okay.
Because it would. Fuck you, it fucking would. Peter was going to make it okay. There were still people here that he loved and that need out as badly as he did. Strangers and practical strangers, the people who had left to go lead pretend lives in the pretend world. Those guys all needed him. And Peter was no use to anyone sitting alone in the dark like he had just watched Old Yeller for the first time and his world was shattered.
Nope.
"Okay," Peter said. He steadied himself on his feet. "Okay. I'm done here. Whatever creepy thing is haunting here, you can get back to business."
He nodded once to the hall. It was still silent, but that didn't bother him so much anymore. He was cool. With one final shake of the head, he collected his flashlight and took to the stairs.
no subject
"I'm really sorry." Nothing answered him. He was half expecting some ghoulish groan to emit from the dark, but nothing happened, so he carried on. "I'm so, so sorry Brainy. I shouldn't...I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have left you alone so much. I'm sorry. I'm really...I'm really sorry. I w-wasn't there for you.
"I don't know what happened to you. I don't know when you left, so...just. If it was Grell, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to. He doesn't deserve to live. But you - I don't know where you are. I just want you to know that you're like...l-like a part of, a part my family. You're one of my best friends. I love you, okay?"
Staring blankly into what was essentially a black hole made it easy to imagine whatever he wanted in the dim edges of his flashlight beam. The outline of a slender boy, too far away and too obscured to catch the details of his face. Peter traced the form with wide eyes. "I just want you to know that. That's...that's it. You're awesome and I miss you."
He stopped talking then, but remained seated until he couldn't feel the sting in his chest anymore. The tears stopped eventually too. and he wiped himself clean. By the time he drew away his hands, the figure had dissipated. He couldn't retrace it's form there again, no matter how hard he tried. And it was then, when the gasping stopped and his face had settled into resigned lines that things snapped into place. No. He didn't want to be alone tonight, he decided. He didn't want to spend the night in pieces. That was lame. Brainy would agree. Brainy would want him to keep going, to march on down there and not be a pansy and face the rest of his friends like everything would be okay.
Because it would. Fuck you, it fucking would. Peter was going to make it okay. There were still people here that he loved and that need out as badly as he did. Strangers and practical strangers, the people who had left to go lead pretend lives in the pretend world. Those guys all needed him. And Peter was no use to anyone sitting alone in the dark like he had just watched Old Yeller for the first time and his world was shattered.
Nope.
"Okay," Peter said. He steadied himself on his feet. "Okay. I'm done here. Whatever creepy thing is haunting here, you can get back to business."
He nodded once to the hall. It was still silent, but that didn't bother him so much anymore. He was cool. With one final shake of the head, he collected his flashlight and took to the stairs.
[To here.]