Tolten sighed and leaned back in his chair. He had been wishing he had someone to talk to, and it seemed his esteemed ancestor had answered his wish. He may not have Jansen in this place, but he had here a man who put him of the same mind. And he was only going to fret himself in circles, he knew that!
"I don't think you realize how quite inexperienced I truly am," Tolten said, levelly. "I lived a remarkably sheltered life. I rarely left my home, which was inhabited by only myself and a handful of servants I had little contact with. When I went out, it was simply to the home of my guardian. Until I was twenty and thrust out into the world in the midst of chaos, war, and my entire country wanting me dead. I spent the last year of my life living that hell - on the run and hunted by a powerful madman. Three weeks ago I the only certainty I had in my head was my immediately approaching death. I have barely spoken to a woman since my mother died - I was seven. And I have lived my entire life being mocked for not living up to the social ideal of masculinity held by my culture. I hope you can see how perhaps the matter of intimacy may be a difficult one for me."
He had never laid it out quite so precisely before, really. But there it was. Minus one or two other complexities he didn't feel like addressing at the moment. Well, if nothing else, he had his thoughts rather organized on the subject.
no subject
Tolten sighed and leaned back in his chair. He had been wishing he had someone to talk to, and it seemed his esteemed ancestor had answered his wish. He may not have Jansen in this place, but he had here a man who put him of the same mind. And he was only going to fret himself in circles, he knew that!
"I don't think you realize how quite inexperienced I truly am," Tolten said, levelly. "I lived a remarkably sheltered life. I rarely left my home, which was inhabited by only myself and a handful of servants I had little contact with. When I went out, it was simply to the home of my guardian. Until I was twenty and thrust out into the world in the midst of chaos, war, and my entire country wanting me dead. I spent the last year of my life living that hell - on the run and hunted by a powerful madman. Three weeks ago I the only certainty I had in my head was my immediately approaching death. I have barely spoken to a woman since my mother died - I was seven. And I have lived my entire life being mocked for not living up to the social ideal of masculinity held by my culture. I hope you can see how perhaps the matter of intimacy may be a difficult one for me."
He had never laid it out quite so precisely before, really. But there it was. Minus one or two other complexities he didn't feel like addressing at the moment. Well, if nothing else, he had his thoughts rather organized on the subject.