damned_institute | Night 62: M11

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Night 62: M11 - M20 Hallway

After bidding good night and good luck to Kratos and being left alone in his room, Tolten stood and decided that he may as well make use of his time. It was rather like being in prison, or so he fancied. He'd never been imprisoned before, but he'd listened to the stories around the fire and the dinner table. And while he couldn't do much insofar as putting his mind to work, he could do his best to stay in top physical shape.

Even if he was (perhaps) under the weather. He didn't know what to think of the announcements that were made, either during the day or after dark. But he didn't trust them one bit. And until he could discuss it with someone else or read the bulletin, he was going to ignore it. It was really easier that way.

But in the meantime he would set himself a routine. Which would involve stretching and warming up each evening between dinner and whatever was to be done that night. Even if he was staying in. Really, especially if he was staying in. At least running about and fighting was physically invigorating!

The young king managed to strip off his shirt and stretch a handful of times before he felt light headed and decided to lay down on his bed for a moment. Just to catch his breath.

He truly hoped this wasn't warning signs of some horrible thing...

[Locke!]

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This hallway, too, was just as deserted as the main hall had been telling Locke it was still early enough that no one else had left their rooms yet. Or, if they had, they'd quickly left the area. He supposed that was only normal if someone had somewhere they were desperate to be before the night was over; Locke had been that same way the last few nights. It was...strange but nice to not feel so rushed this time.

Stopping at Tolten's door he knocked twice before opening the door and letting himself in. He'd always been told his manners left something to be desired but, really, if Tolten were expecting him it surely wasn't that big of a deal to just go in, right?

........

................

Well that had been his thought process until he stepped into the room and was met with the vision of a half-naked Tolten sprawled out on his bed. That was where his train-of-thought suddenly found it's tracks heading off the edge of a cliff and into the great, dark, abyss below.

Words...no...he'd try words in a second. Right now he was too busy with the sensation of his face spontaneously combusting while he attempted to close the door behind him.

It was like being back on the Nautilus again. Except there was no cheery, grating call of 'you decent? Eh, what do I care?' before the door opened.

Locke had made remarkable time. And Tolten hadn't at all expected to be caught so unawares. He was torn between panic and every bit of royal training he'd ever had telling him if he made a fuss, it would only make things worse.

Besides, what did it really matter? It was Locke. The young king knew in some muddled way his strange privacy quirks and whatnot were born of some desire not to be seen vulnerable. But it hardly mattered with Locke, the other man had seem him remarkably vulnerable. So Tolten managed to simply sit up, brush his slightly damp hair out of his face, and offer a small smile.

"Goodness you're quick!" he chirped, laughing a bit more from slightly jarred nerves than anything. "Ah...is everything alright? Nothing happened on your way, did it?" Locke certainly looked...stricken.

It took everything Locke had to clear his mind enough to register what Tolten was saying to him and then come up with a proper response that didn't include making himself sound like some blushing maid that had stumbled into the same situation.

"Y-yeah, everything's fine. Sorry, I should've...waited or something." It was only a mild success. He chanced a look up from the extremely interesting floor and instantly regretted it. Of course his eyes turned traitor and decided to take in the scenery before he could manage to cement them on his friend's face; he only hoped the steadily increasing heat didn't show as much as he feared it did.

"I have a habit of just...coming in...sorry." And then that was 'sorry' twice. Yeah, he just needed to stop talking. Possibly forever.

"Oh, well, it's...it's alright. It wasn't as if I was doing anything important! Just...waiting here for you."

Tolten hoped that Locke wasn't succumbing to illness. His face was flushed! He surely had to be feverish... Oh dear. Well, it was certainly a good thing they were staying in. And here was Tolten, simply languishing in bed while his poor friend suffered standing practically in the doorway! He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat upright properly, leaning forward and inspecting Locke critically. How did you tell if someone looked sick as opposed to worn out?

"Well, never mind anyway," he went on, waving a hand and then smiling. "There's no time limit for us tonight, is there? Come, get off your feet, there's no sense in standing there...ah, you'd be most comfortable in bed, I imagine?"

Pretty much everything Locke had thought to say vanished at 'in bed.' Was Edgar right? He hadn't thought so but, now....now he wasn't so sure. Either way he was just going to play this cool. Well, cooler he'd pretty much already messed up any pretense of being calm with his stuttering and blushing.

"Yeah...probably." He hesitated before moving forward. If this wasn't the situation his jumbled mind was putting together, then which bed was he supposed to sit on? It wasn't like it was very polite to sit on some stranger's bed....but then that would mean sharing Tolten's bed. Of course if this was that situation then sharing Tolten's bed was the whole point.

He really needed to learn how to stop thinking along with not talking. Both activities were just getting him into more trouble.

Silently, he sat on the farthest end of Tolten's bed and slipped off the boots, clearly they wouldn't be needed, so that he could sit cross-legged. "So...how was your day?" Oh, that deserved some mental scolding; how domestic could he sound?

Oh well this wouldn't do! Tolten frowned slightly, mentally kicking himself for his inability to conduct himself like a normal person. But he'd hardly had friends, let alone ill friends. Gongora had never suffered from illness. And once he was on his own, Sarah had taken care of any bugs anyone may have picked up. Naturally or magically.

And Locke seemed so uncomfortable with Tolten's meager attempts at hospitality. He as making a mess of this, wasn't he?

"Oh, not terrible. I visited the Greenhouse, that was pleasant." As he spoke, the young king slipped off the bed and turned to arrange the pillows against the head of the bed. If nothing else, he was rather proud of himself for not rushing to don his own military uniform like some frightened girl. "And I enjoyed dinner! Here, lay down. I'm sorry, I should have done this at first. I'm...not used to this sort of thing."

How often did he find himself saying that?

For a moment his mind went blank. Okay....so Edgar, the bastard, had been right. At least that was how it seemed...well, he had offered, hadn't he? Just because he wasn't expecting the offer to be taken up so soon didn't mean anything. It wasn't like he'd been making the offer lightly. He really needed to calm down, it wasn't like he was new to this.

"Okay...if you want." If they were really going to do this then Locke was going to let Tolten call as many of the shots as he wanted. The whole point of him offering was so that his friend would be as comfortable as possible.

He just hoped he didn't do or say anything to mess everything up; he had an unfortunate track record with that sort of thing.

"Well...I just imagine it would be more comfortable, laying down."

Perhaps Locke was feeling guilty over not venturing out tonight. Tolten could understand that, but really, they had to take care of themselves.

"And...there's nothing wrong with...taking time for ourselves." That was a polite and neutral way of putting it. They weren't slacking or...wasting time when they could be doing something productive. This was productive. They needed to stay healthy.

And besides that...well, it was simply nice to have a chance to talk without anyone else around. No nurses, no other patients, no noise, no worrying about being rushed off to the next activity. They could simply relax and talk.

"Tonight will be nice."

He did as suggested and laid back on the pillows."Yeah...I hope so, anyway." He really hoped he hadn't made some terrible and arrogant mistake offering to do this for Tolten; he just wanted to help his friend. He cared a lot about the young king.

Okay. Enough blushing and stumbling around, he needed to get the cool calm he had before back. He just needed to think straight."...I guess I just wasn't expecting you to make up your mind so soon; you seemed so hesitant before." Not that he was going to argue with him, it wasn't Locke's call.

Of course, then he realized Tolten was still just standing there, and that wasn't going to work, so he scooted himself as far over to the wall as he could. "You shouldn't just..stay standing, you know."

"Oh, I think I seem hesitant about practically everything," Tolten admitted with a laugh. It was true. Even in his notes he knew he didn't exactly project an air or assuredness. "It's just my nature. I've grown up being second guessed and second guessing myself, and it's sometimes very hard for me to find my voice, I suppose you could say."

He had absolutely no idea what was going through Locke's head this evening. He assumed Locke was simply referring to Tolten's manner of hatching plans. Which were often undecided and hesitant. At Locke's statement about him now just standing around, he laughed again.

"Goodness, where's my head tonight? Well, distracted, of course!" Half sick and half worried, he was losing his manners all over the place. He had meant to take Kratos' bed - he doubted the man would mind him sitting on it - but Locke scooted over and Tolten remembered that normal people didn't have quite the physical boundaries that he did.

Well, he could do this. He really needed to stop thinking so much about everything. So, still smiling, he took a seat at the edge of the bed next to Locke, angled to face him.

"There we are."

Locke laughed as well then shook his head. "Well, that's something to work on, then. Don't worry so much, you'll over-think things. I always find going with your instincts works best." Most of the time. The irony in his words wasn't lost on the treasure hunter and he figured it would probably be best if he followed his own advice. Lead by example and all that, right? He'd already spent a lot of time thinking over and over-thinking this situation as it was.

With them both on the bed like this it was close but not uncomfortable and, he supposed, that was a good start at least. Jeeze, it had been a while since he'd done this....well, planned, at least. Their proximity gave him an idea and it seemed like as good a start as any. Tolten had said he'd never been kissed before.

Gathering his courage to force down the butterflies that had suddenly assaulted his stomach, he shifted his weight and leaned in to close the distance between them.

Edited 2012-03-22 22:49 (UTC)

"I'm still learning to trust my instincts. Though...I sometimes wonder if I should. They've...led me wrong many times before." His instincts had said to trust Gongora, after all. More than trust him. And his instincts had told him Grand Staff was a brilliant idea. Not to mention everything else that had come after.

Life was too terribly confusing most of the time. And the present wasn't any exception, as Locke started to lean forward. He felt pinned, like when Her Majesty or Kaim would stand before him and move in close, to look into his eyes. Was Locke hoping to get a glimpse of his soul?

But mostly it reminded him of Jansen, who would suddenly stop and stand, practically nose to nose, searching Tolten's eyes for a hint of one of Gongora's favorite little devices. Still smiling, Tolten offered as much question as he could think. Softly and more curiously than anything.

"Locke...?"

Tolten's tone made him hesitate for just a moment. It almost felt like he'd been caught at something...but that made no sense; this was the point, wasn't it?

He thought he should say something but nothing was coming to him and they were already really close together....it wouldn't take much to just..

Locke leaned in and pressed his lips to Tolten's gently.

Tolten froze.

A part of his mind was suddenly well aware of what was currently happening. The rest was simply shocked into stunned silence. Locke was...was kissing him. He was being kissed. By his best friend. In his bed.

He wasn't even wearing proper clothes!

It seemed like he froze for an eternity, but in truth it was only a moment or two.

And then the young king jerked back, two thoughts screaming in his mind and fighting to be the first out of his mouth. One of those thoughts was a knee-jerk reaction born of denying his attractions all his life. The other madness, but the only thing that came to his mind.

I was with a woman earlier! fought against I wasn't ready to be kissed!.

Neither one seemed to be winning, and so Tolten simply sat there, mouth fluttering like a suffocating fish and every muscle tense.

In those seconds when Tolten froze Locke knew he'd been wrong all along. The crushing sense of guilt and foolishness mixed together and forced him to lean back again, averting his gaze back to the floor. How could he have been that stupid? here was a fifty/fifty shot about the situation and Locke had read it wrong.

Frantically, his mind raced over their conversation, analyzing how it had sounded and how it had actually meant. What had he been thinking? of Course that hadn't been what Tolten meant, it wasn't this friend that had put the thought into his mind, it had been Edgar and, as similar as the two kings were, they were not the same.

Part of him desperately wanted to run, to apologize and bolt from the room to hide with his shame. However, it was almost as if he'd been frozen in place; nothing wanted to move, not even his eyes which had found the spot where floor met bed frame and refused to move.

He'd gone down the wrong road and now he had to face the consequences.

"...sorry." His voice could have sounded a little stronger, at least.

There was no point in trying to come up with the proper etiquette for this sort of thing. Tolten didn't think there was proper etiquette for this! He didn't even know what 'this' was!

"No," was what he finally managed, shaking his head. Whatever was going on, Locke had nothing to apologize for. It had just...surprised him. Or whatever word was stronger than 'surprise', he couldn't think of one at the moment.

Though should he really be so surprised? Hadn't they spent the previous night with clasped hands, fingers linked like children playing at romance? And...well...they had discussed...things.

So Locke had kissed him.

And he hadn't even had the sense to pay attention! Tolten closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hands clenching into fists. His first kiss, his very first kiss, and he'd managed to miss it. Really, it could only happen to him.

"Don't apologize," he finally finished.

'Don't apologize.' It ran through his mind but it didn't register. Not really. It felt like that was exactly what he should have been doing. Every second he sat there, frozen in place, the more stupid and ridiculous he felt. He'd screwed up and put Tolten in an awkward situation.

Over and over all that ran through his mind was 'What was I thinking?'

Tolten seemed upset, possibly even angry, and Locke didn't blame him a bit. Locke had gotten punched for less and he half expected some sort of physical backlash now. He certainly deserved it.

"No...I should. I shouldn't have done that not when- I-" He paused and took a breath so he could sort through what he was trying to say. "I had the situation wrong and I did something that upset you. For that I should apologize."

Oh gods, this was all wrong!

"I'm not upset with you, I'm upset with me!" Tolten stood up and began to pace, raking his hair back and gripping it for a moment.

"I...I'm ill and it was unexpected and...I reacted poorly." How in the world had this happened? This was precisely why he held the belief the world was terribly confusing. He continually found himself in confusing situations! Panic fully engaged, as the situation was rapidly spiraling out of control, Tolten simply kept talking.

"I mean, I'm not upset that you kissed me. I just...wish I'd had a bit of warning. Or better circumstances...why did you do it now?"

He didn't think it was possible but, somehow, he would have sworn his face grew redder just thinking about needing to explain. There was no good way to explain...not without sounding as ridiculous as he felt. He'd just have to push through it.

He took a cautious glance at Tolten's face before returning his gaze to the floor. This was going to be awkward enough without seeing any reactions that came from it. "I guess...it was your note. I mean, it seemed fine when I first read it but then Edgar made a comment about- well, 'bout us meeting in your room like it was some nighttime fling and...the idea got stuck in my head....I remembered what we had discussed before and I couldn't think of another reason why- you know. I just...went down the wrong road." That sounded pathetic. "It was stupid." No. He just needed to stop talking. The mental image of himself digging a hole deeper was the only response his mind could come up with.

If only he could actually find the right words....if the right words even existed.

"Oh gods, you sweet silly man!" Tolten covered his face, his cheeks turning pink. Of course. Oh...he was torn between laughing and bolting because on hindsight...

"We're both fools! I..I..." The young king's emotions were going in every direction at once. Of course he understood how it happened, looking back now. From the moment he'd posted to the board, they'd been having two different conversations, hadn't they?

"I'm not feeling well and we've had such poor luck and I was sure you were exhausted and frustrated and I...I only meant we should take some time to take care of ourselves. Plan and... oh gods. Oh gods, I'm sorry! I didn't mean...it...I'm not very good with...with...communicating."

Tolten's words made him feel a little better, although he still felt ridiculous, at least the thought that he had completely messed up was fading. Slowly.

"No, it makes sense...now. I just- I shouldn't have let Edgar's teasing get to me. I...I am sorry..for putting us both in this situation." He gave a small, nervous, laugh. "Somehow I always end up saying or doing the wrong thing..." Especially in these more emotionally sensitive situations. Someday he'd get it right...maybe.

Locke finally chanced a glance up at Tolten, that nervous smile still on his face. "So...you're really not mad or upset or whatever?"

"I feel embarrassed and silly, but I'm not mad. Why on earth would I be mad?" Tolten took a seat at his desk, and discreetly cast his eyes about for his shirt. Where had he dropped it?

"I understand how my words gave the wrong impression," he went on. "What I meant about arming you...in the morning I'll know whether or not a friend has a blade for me. If he does...the pipe is yours. We'll both be armed without having to worry about passing outside. And you looked ill when you came in... I was offering my bed for you to rest."

Goodness! How easily words could be misconstrued! He'd have to be very careful in the future. Or at least try.

"And that...well, that didn't count anyway. I wasn't paying attention. I wasn't...ready. I thought...well...there'd be more courtship first. If I thought anything, I suppose."

Between Tolten's last statement, Locke's relief, and his still dissipating nervousness, the treasure hunter laughed. He couldn't help it, it was just...completely ridiculous and embarrassing and a little funny. Besides...it made him feel a little better, emotionally if not physically. "Sorry, I've never been very good at the courtship thing. Guess I'll just have to take some lessons first. Truth be told, I have been feeling a little sick pretty much all day."

For the first time since he'd set foot in Tolten's room he relaxed a bit and sighed, promising himself he'd never do something so impulsively stupid for a while. His quota had run out for now. "I am glad to hear about the weapon. It would be nice to be more useful whenever we go out." It would be nice to no longer be a liability.

Tolten stood back up, casually grabbing his shirt and pulling it back on. Or at least trying to appear as though he were doing so casually. His face sobered some and he nodded, frowning.

"There have been...mentions," he said, in regards to feeling ill. "I don't know what I believe, honestly. But...it's a bit worrying. I assumed I was just fatigued and nauseated due to running about all night, every night. I don't assume that any longer."

But surely...surely it was just some manner of bug. They were kept in closed quarters, only bathed every three days...even in a 'hospital' that was a breeding ground for illnesses.

"You're very useful, Locke. Just not currently for killing things."

He, largely, ignored Tolten's last statement, sparing it only a shake of his head. He didn't agree but he didn't want to turn it into a discussion either; it was better to just keep those thoughts in his head.

"Yeah, I assumed the same thing...but then it didn't go away so, now, I don't really know. I'd almost rather it was just something we caught but-" But every time he tried to dismiss the idea as nothing but fatigue or diet he remembered the gas and whatever it had been that had messed with his head the next day. It had to have been something they had slipped him-and others- because hallucinations certainly weren't normal, it had nothing to do with the gas from the night before, and it had faded away like something running it's course through him.Of course, in that case, the symptoms had been the same for everyone.

"Tolten, what exactly are you suffering from? Is it fever, nausea, and dizziness, or is it something else?" If their symptoms were the same then Locke was more than certain it was some sort of drug or something like that. If not....well...he didn't know.

Night 62: M11 - M20 Hallway

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